For fictional purposes, I’m trying to think of real-life items that Our Hero could use when battling the zombie hordes (or whatever). So far I’ve got: sickle, scythe, machete, buther knife, cleaver, pruning hook. What I’m trying to come up with is things that are a bit obscure but that you could find if you went to the right supply house, like butcher’s, surgeon’s, or agricultural tools. Isn’t there some gawdawful looking thing that surgeons use to open the ribcage?
Check out Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive. you’d be interested in it’s lawnmower v. Zombie scene. (Never knew it was AKA braindead)
Amputation knives are pretty fearsome looking things. So is our old friend the Woodsman’s Pal. For your hero’s benefit, here is how to fight with one.
The sharpened pelvis of a rat. Worked for Grignr.
(Extra points if you get the reference.) 
How about an adze? You’d need a timberyard where they were rough-cutting some big-ass roof beams or the like, the old-fashioned way, but you’ve got some serious whackage right there.
(It was quite a scary tool even when used for the intended purpose - supposedly, the Devil himself was afraid to use an adze.)
I don’t think a buther knife is going to help, even if you fix your hero’s lithp. 
I really think a Garden Weasel should have a place in a decent zombie battle. I have the one shown on the bottom, and it’s actually kind of vicious.
I think one could some interesting damage with these logging tools.
Ooh, what about the spike strips used by police to stop chases? Wrap one of those suckers around a zombie neck and PULL!
Weedwhackers might be fun too. All the fun of a chainsaw, but with extra reach!
The pickaxe mattock would look cool sprouting from someone’s head or sternum.
A Pulaski fire axe or a Swedish Brush Axe. I have successfully defended my home against zombie invaders several times using these two tools (I routinely desecrate ancient burial grounds and often have midnight visitors). Of course, for truly desperate situations you gotta have one of these.
It would be interesting to run a zombie through a disc harrow, I think. The blades aren’t really all the sharp, but sharpen up nicely if your hero has time to prepare. They’re pretty heavy, though, so might not be appropriate for throwing. Every so often, you hear about farmers being pinned against walls by the loader of their tractor and dying from injuries received from that. So you could crush the zombies real good.
For more classic agricultural tools, you have hoes and pitchforks. Personally, I would not want to take a pitchfork to the head. Pickaxes. Vets have this big stabby thing that they use when an animal is bloated. Apparently it’s called a trocar. I wonder if drench pumps could be used in innovative ways?
Do you mean a chest retractor for opening chests? I don’t know how much good it would do you, since you’d have to get the zombie to lay down long enough for you to cut open his chest and then stick the retractor in and crank it.
Chainsaws come to mind. You might decapitate a few zombies with piano wire, I’ve heard it’s strong enough. Swords are another one; those SCA guys get them somewhere.
The Russian Armu used to issue Spetnatz units a “Combat shovel” with a razor sharp edge.
I tried to access the link/image, but my work computer won’t let me.
Just Google for it, it’s simple to find…
The Russian Army used to issue Spetnatz units a “Combat shovel” with a razor sharp edge.
I tried to access the link/image, but my work computer won’t let me.
Just Google for it, it’s simple to find…
Screw the zombie weapons - I want one of those self-correcting posts that Bosda has.
There’s a fun little outdoor tool called a bank blade that could be extremely damaging if used against a semi-human opponent. It’s mostly used to chop brush and weeds along the banks of ditches. From the look of the blade, I think it would be far less prone to snagging than a scythe, less awkward to use, and have a quicker turnaround.
Well, if you attached a bank blade to the back of a tractor you could make a stadium full of zombies look like they’re doing the wave.
Good grief… we Texans are a like thinking bunch. What Max says.
A properly sharpened Weeding hoe would make a nice fighting tool - kill by chopping or stabbing. It’s pretty easy to wield too. I have one with three prongs, though I don’t sharpen the prongs . . .
Well, don’t forget the cordless power tool category for all your mayhem needs. You can pretty much get any normal tool with an 18V battery and lots of attitude. So circular saws, reciprocating saws, routers (yuck), hammer drills, grinders, power carvers (more yuck) are all possible candidates if, for example, zombies ever invade the New Yankee Workshop. Of course, don’t neglect your garden variety wood chisel which is often honed to lethal sharpness. Not to mention the wide range of spokeshaves and other carving tools.
Amateurs! You guys should see what ordinary items get turned into shanks where I work! A toothbrush handle with aluminum foil melted into it as a slashing device, a nasal spray bottle with the plastic tip sharpened to pierce the flesh between the ribs, glasses where the plastic lens can be popped out and the edge sharpened to use for ritual scarring or slashing at someone else, teeth from a plastic comb broken off and inserted into a squeeze bulb so you can pretend to flush someone’s eye for them but end up penetrating their cornea when the comb tooth pops out.
And don’t get me started on the weaponry some of my patients were packing in their butts when they came in!!