Eeeeehhhh, eh, eh-April...Yeah, life sucks, still...

[Knowed_Out]

It doesn’t pay to be honest any more.

The cafeteria at work got replaced with a snack bar. There’s 2 kiosks present where you can scan your items and pay with a card. This assumes an awful lot of trust on behalf of the employees, but so far the upper mgmt hasn’t squawked about people stealing.

Today, both kiosks had signs: Out of order. Use App.

There’s an app? How about that.

So I took a few items off the shelf for lunch. I found the app and installed it. I set up my new account, but couldn’t log in. The app has a big green button for LOG IN. I pressed it, and got “Log in unsuccessful. Please call this number.”

Anybody else would have put the items back, or just said “Hey, free lunch day!” Me, my drawback is honesty, and mistakenly thinking I can set an example for others by being honest. I called the number. The rep was nice and helpful, but I still couldn’t log in. He offered to send me a password reset in email, so I said “Go ahead.”

I finished my lunch and kept the wrappers. As I was going back to my desk, I decided to look at the app again. Maybe I was supposed to do something else first? Ah, there it is. Above the big green button, there’s fields for my account name and password. The error screen COULD have read “Username and password missing.” No. It read “Log in unsuccessful. Please call this number.” This app was obviously designed by committee, and they didn’t talk to each other. I put in the login info and successfully opened the app.

Mind you, any other app would have taken me to a screen to enter my card info. Even greasy spoon restaurants with web sites that look like they were designed in the 80s have that feature. This one didn’t. I figured maybe after I scanned the items, it would ask me for that info. It didn’t. It simply had a “Pay now” button. OK, press.

The pay window closed, because I didn’t have a Market Account set up. What Market Account? I looked into it and setting up that account requires me to transfer money from my checking account. Fuck that noise! I may be honest and trustworthy, but this pushes the limit. My reluctance to steal was instantly wiped away by my intolerance for inconvenience. It’s their fault. They didn’t QA their app, and now they’re losing the 8 dollars and 27 cents I would have paid if the damn kiosk worked. Fuck 'em.

[Catamount]

@Shoeless

And now the IT guy shows up, powers it up, and it comes right up. WTF?!? I’ve done that half a dozen times already this morning!

What’s really annoying is, I used to be that guy. Something’s not working? Well, it works for me! I guess I’ve lost my touch.

It was waiting for another person to cast their eyes at it before it decided to work. Computers are worse than cats in the temperamental department.

[outlierrn]

It’s because we’re listening for screams, not whistling. I’ve been trying to hold my tongue on this, but I watched a woman console her little girl after her grandmother died today, so your mini rant earns you a big fat bite me.

[purplehorseshoe]

Say what now?

[DummyGladHands]

Another long time living together couple is getting married, big shindig, all the trimmings. These aren’t kids, they’re late 40’s. Dammit, I hate this. WTF do you give them (invite doesn’t say no gifts) and besides WHY?? Why screw up a good thing with marriage?? Their families (with other partners) are complete, and now they’ve tied up all their property and assets with each other for no good reason that I see. Mumble mumble mumble.

[Nava]

If it’s in the US, my first two guesses are insurance and being able to set each other up as Person To Contact, main decider, call it X. The person who can do financial and medical stuff in your name.

[digs]

@outlierrn

It’s because we’re listening for screams, not whistling…

Sorry, can you explain? I assumed you’d posted in another thread about whistles and screams, but I looked through all your other posts, and no…

[Kelby]

@Guest-starring_Id

Yeah, feeling just a bit too wall-punchy right now to wait until midnight to post this…

Kicking off April rants - earlier today I tootle-loo’ed on down to emergency because my heart was palpitating more crazily than those crazy “bladder pumps” used for the expanding hairy forearms in American Werewolf in London. The nurse who attended to me was perfectly fine, but when she parted ways she made the unfortunate mistake to say that she’ll get someone in there right away to disconnect all the electrode/pad thingies (or whatever they’re called) and I’ll be on my way.

By the ten-minute mark I was starting wondering what was up, and if I feel I’m having to wait too long for, like, anything, I start whistling, and the longer the wait, the louder the whistling gets, in order to be increasingly irritating, in order to finally get someone’s attention to, um, maybe check in on me?

My bed, like all the others, was completely surrounded by a white curtain, and as I went through my moldy oldie playlist, I occasionally heard a triage assistant (or whatever the hell her title was) with a distinctly low, husky voice, making the most snippy, inane, passive-aggressive comments to her co-workers, and I wondered how the hell they have could put up with such an asinine bimbo. (from here on referred to as A.T.N. - Asinine Triage Nurse)

As I segued from Smoke Gets in Your Eyes into the big M’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, an older woman (I’d hazard, oh, 86?) in the bed next to me commented to her companion “oh, what WON-derful whistling,” while the odd nurse’s comments on my whistling were a bit more bemused…

…but not rousing their interest any further than that. (um…WTF???) (btw - this whistling tactic has most definitely worked in the past, like in banks and other Leacockian institutions, but, strangely, not this afternoon)

By minute fucking 30 the hit parade veered into the Stones, and soon, I was like, ok, fuck this, and with great effort (because I was held back by all the wires still connecting me to what I’m guessing was some ECG thingie) I was just barely able to reach the curtain to pull it aside to stick my head out and say, “Hi, am I still supposed to be here? I think I was told about half an hour ago that this would get taken care of more or less right away, kinda.”

The nurse’s station was empty save for someone behind the main desk and one other nurse, whose lighter voice indicated it wasn’t the A.T.N., and I was told someone will be right there. I closed the curtain back up (heh - I’d like to have had a photo of me straining out to the curtain with all those crazy wires stretched taut from me) and a minute later I hear A.T.N’s distinct voice come up and say to the whistling lover, next to me, “so, you want out, then?”

“No dear, I think it’s the gentleman next to me.”

“Oh no, nope, no one in there.”

At this, I go, “uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh excuse me!? Um, you sure about that?”

A.T.N. then whips my curtain open, and instead of offering an apology, she goes, “Oh - I thought you left ages ago.”

“Uh, evidently not?”

She disconnects the wires from the electrode/pad thingies and says I’m free to go, and leaves, closing the curtain behind her again. Meanwhile, I look down at all the pads that are still attached to me (???) and so once again (heh - with much more ease this time) poke my upper half out of the curtains and ask if these are all still supposed to be attached on to me.

While I was’t expecting an apology per se but hoping for at least some kind of oops response or something from her, she instead goes, nonchalantly, “oh you can go ahead and take them off if you want.”

Oh really? Thanks for offering me the choice! (said internally)

Leaving, I stared death into her, which she returned with a searching “what up?” look, so, with relish, I reported her.

To think how long I would’ve sat there, obviously forgotten, still gets me, uh, just a little pissed.

Been dealing with this bonkers arrhythmia shit for too long and on May 7 will get set up with a 24-hr ecg holter.

I’m sorry for your trouble, but I wanted to say that you’re an excellent writer, if that makes you feel better in any way.

[outlierrn]

@digs

Sorry, can you explain? I assumed you’d posted in another thread about whistles and screams, but I looked through all your other posts, and no…

Ahh, this is for the OP of this thread.

[DummyGladHands]

@Nava

If it’s in the US, my first two guesses are insurance and being able to set each other up as Person To Contact, main decider, call it X. The person who can do financial and medical stuff in your name.

Perhaps you’re correct. It does annoy me that my partner and I spent about $5k to see an attorney to guarantee the rights that a what, $50 marriage license (what do they cost) gives a couple, but we got to pick and choose what we wanted tied up. And why a big fucking party? Grrrr

[Guest-starring_Id]

@outlierrn

Ahh, this is for the OP of this thread.

Riiiiiiight, so your grievance is more legitimate than mine, thus, it was so utterly audacious of me to post it, to begin with, then?
Get the fuck completely bent, dude.

[outlierrn]

I’m an ER nurse, your jerkish behavior is my grievance

@Guest-starring_Id

so your grievance is more legitimate than mine

So, yeah, obviously.

[Guest-starring_Id]

@outlierrn

I’m an ER nurse, your jerkish behavior is my grievance

So, yeah, obviously.

Well thanks for that douchey corroboration.

If you were that fucking useless to have completely forgotten about me (and without even starting to offer any sort of explanation for the obvious gong show-ery), then you’d get reported in a flash, too.

:eek:Indeed, such JERKISH whistling of me.:eek:

[StarvingButStrong]

Didn’t they give you one of those “push button for help” thingies?

Because, yeah, I wouldn’t associate someone whistling random tunes as a call for help. I’d just figure they were being weird, maybe from being drunk or drugged or just wacky.

[Broomstick]

@DummyGladHands

Another long time living together couple is getting married, big shindig, all the trimmings. These aren’t kids, they’re late 40’s. Dammit, I hate this. WTF do you give them (invite doesn’t say no gifts) and besides WHY?? Why screw up a good thing with marriage?? Their families (with other partners) are complete, and now they’ve tied up all their property and assets with each other for no good reason that I see. Mumble mumble mumble.

@Nava

If it’s in the US, my first two guesses are insurance and being able to set each other up as Person To Contact, main decider, call it X. The person who can do financial and medical stuff in your name.

^ This.

Because for damn sure you don’t want to want for one of you to be incapacitated - that can result in you being completely unable to see/speak to/or even be told what room your loved one is in, or even to confirm whether or not that person is in the hospital.

@DummyGladHands

Perhaps you’re correct. It does annoy me that my partner and I spent about $5k to see an attorney to guarantee the rights that a what, $50 marriage license (what do they cost) gives a couple, but we got to pick and choose what we wanted tied up. And why a big fucking party? Grrrr

They’re celebrating not having killed each other for X years?

[Nava]

@DummyGladHands

Perhaps you’re correct. It does annoy me that my partner and I spent about $5k to see an attorney to guarantee the rights that a what, $50 marriage license (what do they cost) gives a couple, but we got to pick and choose what we wanted tied up. And why a big fucking party? Grrrr

Is that for a prenup or for some other documents which your local hospitals and utility companies may or may not decide to honor?

And it’s not your friends’ fault if your location’s default marriage procedures don’t allow people to pick and choose what to tie up and what not. Other places do, for less than $50.

[Guest-starring_Id]

@StarvingButStrong

Didn’t they give you one of those “push button for help” thingies?

Because, yeah, I wouldn’t associate someone whistling random tunes as a call for help. I’d just figure they were being weird, maybe from being drunk or drugged or just wacky.

All there was was the ECG machine thingy with no apparent help button, as far as I could tell.

And it’s entirely possible that you could have ended up swooning, longingly, to my dulcet tones.

[StarvingButStrong]

@Guest-starring_Id

And it’s entirely possible that you could have ended up swooning, longingly, to my dulcet tones.

LOL! Well, in the past a couple guy caught my interest for equally quirky reasons…

[Catamount]

I pit myself for fucking up my feet again. I worked as a front desk drone at a hotel for seven years: eight hours of standing, five days a week, fifty weeks a year. About five years ago I fucked up the top joint in my left foot to the extent that I could barely walk on it. A pair of prescription orthotics and two months of physical therapy later, I was able to walk without pain again. Then, about two and a half years ago, the Achilles tendon in my right foot decided to join the achy party. Fortunately I got myself fired about six months later and didn’t have to stand all day anymore. My current job is sedentary which brings its own host of problems, but my feet aren’t one of them.

However, because I work a sedentary job, I tend to forget my feet aren’t 100% anymore. My work shoes are boots with 1.5" heels. I’m technically not supposed to wear heels but I get away with it most days because I’m sitting all the time. And honestly most of the time, my feet don’t hurt. Until the seasons change.

I noticed my right Achilles tendon felt tight yesterday but I ignored it and trotted around in my high-heeled boots for several hours after work. Today I put on my sneakers and went for a five-mile walk down the greenway before going to Walmart and walking for another five miles trying to find everything on my list. Then I went home and started going upstairs and OW MY HEEL.

I’m now committed to staying off my feet the rest of the afternoon. I’m supposed to go to an orchid show with a friend I haven’t seen in a month tomorrow, but the way my feet are aching now I don’t think I can. I hate to flake out at the last minute like this, but if I don’t want to pay another $700 for PT I think I’ll have to.

[kaylasdad99]

@Catamount

I pit myself for fucking up my feet again. I worked as a front desk drone at a hotel for seven years: eight hours of standing, five days a week, fifty weeks a year. About five years ago I fucked up the top joint in my left foot to the extent that I could barely walk on it. A pair of prescription orthotics and two months of physical therapy later, I was able to walk without pain again. Then, about two and a half years ago, the Achilles tendon in my right foot decided to join the achy party. Fortunately I got myself fired about six months later and didn’t have to stand all day anymore. My current job is sedentary which brings its own host of problems, but my feet aren’t one of them.

However, because I work a sedentary job, I tend to forget my feet aren’t 100% anymore. My work shoes are boots with 1.5" heels. I’m technically not supposed to wear heels but I get away with it most days because I’m sitting all the time. And honestly most of the time, my feet don’t hurt. Until the seasons change.

I noticed my right Achilles tendon felt tight yesterday but I ignored it and trotted around in my high-heeled boots for several hours after work. Today I put on my sneakers and went for a five-mile walk down the greenway before going to Walmart and walking for another five miles trying to find everything on my list. Then I went home and started going upstairs and OW MY HEEL.

I’m now committed to staying off my feet the rest of the afternoon. I’m supposed to go to an orchid show with a friend I haven’t seen in a month tomorrow, but the way my feet are aching now I don’t think I can. I hate to flake out at the last minute like this, but if I don’t want to pay another $700 for PT I think I’ll have to.

Find a medical supply store nearby and look into renting a knee scooter.