Eerie realization

My wife and I started attending church regularly after we found out we were going to have a baby. (I myself hadn’t gone in about 15 years.)

During the (Methodist) service, there are several times when the congregation reads aloud a prayer or affirmation.

Since watching “Star Trek: TNG”, et al, these mass reading sound just like the Borg. I expect to look up and see everyone fitted for implants and looking at me with laser sights.

[sub]Just thought I’d share.[/sub]

Prepare to be ass-laminated.

This is going to sound very un-Christian (probably), but I was raised to believe that God has a great sense of humor. Every Sunday in church, my oldest sister and I would adopt different ways of reading the prayer of confession–sometimes with bad British accents, soft Southern accents, like we were on feminine hygine commercials…mostly like we were on NPR. Didn’t mean that we weren’t taking the content seriously–we just figured that maybe God would like a little variation. It definitely made me pay more attention to what I was saying.

Anyway, we thought nobody was noticing (people have a tendancy to just listen to their own voices), but my dad made the observation once that my sister was the James Earl Jones of the First Presbytarian prayer of confession. I think he meant it as a compliment. From that point on, I always teased her by saying…“Jesus, I am your Father…”

I do a somewhat nasty thing to my wife when we are singing in church. While we are singing, I’ll intentionally change the octave I’m singing in. I do it several times during the course of the song. It never fails to screw up her singing. She usually ends up punching me in the arm in church.

struuter, I just want to tell you that you have given me the most horribly wonderful idea of practicing accents; now why didn’t I think of this before?

hehehehehe I can’t WAIT.
Now to find a church to practice in.

My family goes to a Lutheran church, and occasionally I’m bribed into going by promises of after church family meals. Well one of the times I went the pastor was sick with a slight cold. And as he’s blessing the communion waffers my little brother leans over to me and goes, “What if pastor sneezes on the communion waffers? Will Jesus be pissed?”

I’m trying not to laugh, and my mom has over heard and she to is straining to keep down her chuckles. We are ofcourse sitting in the front, and my mom is church council president at the time.,

The communal reading weirds me out too. Moreso since I saw the borg on STtNG.

LOL I never thought of the borg… it was more like one of those horror movies to me - when the vampires are about to steal your soul or witches start singing and are about to curse you…
dodgy

Yup, yup, yup… love it. My church doesn’t do much borg stuff, but we do say the lord’s prayer together. I like to skip the “lead me not into temptation” line…it really starts to wierd people out when they notice.

In the christian church i went to as a girl, we were taught that God like us to be original and that saying prayers by rote was not really praying. We were told to have respect of God and use new material each time. Not in those words of course.

I did not realize other christian churches did the recited prayer thing. I always kinda assumed it was part of a heathen ritual like the golden calf thing.

Boy, attending my first mass was an eyeopener.

I do that octave-switching thing, too, but that’s because we have a song leader with operatic pretensions at my church, and I can’t sing in her key – nor, as far as I can tell, can anybody else. :rolleyes:

We Catholic types don’t do a lot of reading aloud together, though we do recite the Creed each week as a mob. It used to be chanted, and I think I’d like that. It’s much easier to chant or sing together than recite (and it doesn’t make anyone think of Borgs :wink: )

I usually go to a Catholic church in South Florida. It’s mostly blue hairs or young couples with bebes. It’s very solemn and somewhat depressing. And that’s the way i like it. But here in Tallahassee at Thomas Moore, everyone is slap happy! They scare me. Everyone is singing and swaying to the music. In fact, the entire mass is sung. The most frightening part is when the priest shows the Eucharist to everyone and he starts spinning! I have never been so scared. I haven’t been back there for weeks and say the rosary twice a week for penance (true guilty catholic that i am).

My (4) sisters and i amuse ourselves during the mass by pinching each other or pulling each other hair, trying to get the others to giggle or jump without our parents noticing. The sad part is that we are all well past childhood, and i can see us continuing this tradition at each other’s weddings, standing at the altar.

I was always forced to go to church when I was younger, and didn’t want to be there. So I’d stare at the ceiling or make up wild conspiracy stories about the priests. I was a wierd child. Oh hang on, I still am.

Why did you decide to start going to church regularly when you found out you were going to have a child?

What was the rational behind it – spiritual, or community? I mean, were you looking for salvation and the help of god during a dramatic life episode; or were you mainly interested in developing the social interactions with ‘good’ people? You know, babysitter pool, people to admire the kiddo, quilt raffle, etc.

Just curious.

I was wondering the same thing as Danalan when I read the OP.

I went to an Episcopalian elementary school, and every Friday morning we had Mass which dragged on for an hour or two (although we did get real wine during communion, which was something to look forward to). Anyway, in the 5th grade my best friend and I killed the time by having a little competition to see who could find the most gruesome psalm in the back of the prayer book. There are some pretty horrible ones there. We found them amusing and would stifle giggles throughout the service. We’re still best friends today (and yes, we’re a little odd). :slight_smile:

Hehehe…I remember in Catholic school during Mass, during Lent, we’d sing this hymn…Were You There? And there’s this part that goes, “Sometimes, it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble…” So my friends and I would start shaking uncontrollably through that entire line…our teachers would get sooo pissed!