o dear…
the worst thing i’ve ever seen perpetrated in a church must be of my own doing. it was just a few weeks ago actually…
well, my girlfriend somehow has me attending sunday school every week, which is bad enough as it is, because i’m pretty much just a burnt out stoner, but thats another story for another post…
somehow we both managed to get pulled into staying after for the church service, so we could perform a nice religious song in front of the congregation. yip-fucking-ee. we sat in the very back, at the very end of one of the pews, so were were fairly isolated from the nearest other person (which just happened to be a little old lady at the very other end of our pew). after we went up and sang and made fools of ourselves, we slunked back to our seats, and just counted the minutes before the end of the service.
sitting next to her, i just instinctively put my hand on her leg. big deal… well, i couldn’t just let my hand chill on her leg like that, i had to gently stroke her leg, also instictively. eventually, her hand found its way to my thigh, and also gently carresed my leg. me, being the teenager i am, moved closer and closer to her “sweet spot”.
ah fuck it, i start to move in for the kill. it was about this time that she slapped my hand and then pointed to the old lady at the end of our pew. judging by the look on her face, she was most displeased.
one of the maybe 8 full church services i have ever attended ended with my scolding by an old lady for my desire for “da nookie”.
::bows::
i can’t write tonight… after checking out my post before submitting it, i noticed the junior high quality of my sentence and paragraph structure, as well as my total lack of capitalization. honestly, i’m too lazy to do anything about it, so yeah…