Effects of a Sexy Woman

So, this morning my field manager and I went to visit a customer’s house. She’s dressed in a sort of “Daisy Duke” type outfit since she’s going to be doing some cleaning and it can get hot. Short denim shorts, red checked blouse tied up so that her waist is showing (she’s wearing a couple of layers underneath for decorum). She’s about 5 feet and 100 lbs, give or take, and a fairly attractive woman so this looks pretty hot on her. We get to the clients house, I park, and we both get out of the car. There are a couple of guys on ladders doing something around the soffits.

As soon as she steps out of the car, one guy loses his balance and tumbles back off of his ladder. The other guy, next to him, somehow loses his balances in the confusion and also falls off of his ladder. The first one landed on the ground, the ladder fell over him, and the second guy lands on the ladder that is across the first guy. Now if I saw this on TV I’d better appreciate the slapstick nature of the moment, but my first thought is “Sheesh, I hope these guys are okay”. So I yell over to them. By this point they are up and inspecting body parts and groaning. They also look a bit red in the face and both sport sheepish grins, but manage to shout that they are okay.

It’s only then that my brain puts together the pieces of the puzzle. I turn to M and say, “You did that, didn’t you”. We both start laughing. I tell her that she might want to have a little more modesty and she unties the shirt and buttons it down lower. Later she admits that when she was about 18 (many years ago) and very tiny bikinis were fashionable she and a friend caused a guy to wreck his car on Daytona Beach. By simply “being there”. Stuff like this happens to her all the time. Sometimes I don’t understand guys (and I am one).

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happen to me but…

Have another beer, buddy. I’d ask you for a job if not for the fundamentally weirder stuff that happened to me when I was working the field.

I’m thinking about changing careers, because if internet porn has taught me anything it’s that college co-eds find big, fat, sweaty, bald, middle-aged guys irresistable when they happen to be meter-readers or pizza delivery guys or 'phone techs.

Meh, I’ll just go away now.

I reckon it’s a visceral, subconscious thing. I kid myself that I like looking for purely aesthetic reasons. Just like I like to look at a Ferari even though I’'ve seen one before & couldn’t begin to know any details about them…except they’re sexy. no, the real reason we look is we wanna get laid, and the sexy woman is the object of that desire…on a totally subconscious level, of course.

If actually propositioned, I caould say with 99.99999999999999% accuracy that I would most certainly remain faithful to my spouse and politely suggest a nice single friend who’s had a bit of a drought. But that’s the rational mind taking over. The rational mind don’t see any problem with just lookin.’

No sex at work, strictly business. Often when you get to know people any initial attraction flies out the window, particularly once you’re privvy to most of their personal problems.

Besides, I know that women just throw themselves at you RPI guys all the time. “Bunny, look at the size of that guy’s cranium. His brain must be enormous!” What year did you escape from there, anyway?

Those guys deserved it. I work with a guy who absolutely cannot control himself when a good looking women enters his visual range. He will stop, stare, and keep on staring until she has total passed his vision. He has even gone as far as follow them for a little while. Don’t even try to talk to him when he does this either. He stops mid conversation and just oogles.
There used to be an fairly attractive women that use to walk behind our building during lunch. Just for a little excersice I’m guessing. This guy, would get in his car and drive around and around looking at her. Then, the kicker, he genuinely asks me why she doesn’t go out for her walk anymore.

Verbatim.
me: “Yah think its because you’re practically stalking her you idiot?”
Him:“No, women want you to look at them like that, that’s why they dress the way they do.”

Don’t get me wrong. I take a quick peek, but that’s it. And only if I don’t think they will notice. I just don’t understand these guys either.

Funny you should bring this up.

Last night I went out to eat, and the hostess at the restaurant was simply… STUNNING. I’m not usually awed by beauty, but this woman was simply perfection in my eyes. Had you asked me to design the most physically attractive woman I could think of, this would have been her.

And I found myself acting like a teenager. Couldn’t put two words together, my mouth was probably hanging open.

Her: Is this table OK, sir?

Me: Huh? Umm. Oh, yeah. Good. Fine. That’s a great table!

Then she patted me on the arm and said she hoped I enjoyed my dinner. She patted my arm! sigh

This really bothered me after I got home. I’m in my mid thirties, and I thought I had evolved beyond being dumbstruck by a girl. I hadn’t reacted that way to a female since I really was 15! Lucky I wasn’t driving at the time!!!

It can happen to women, too…at least, it still happens to this one (at 32). I’ve been dumbstruck by a waiter, and have even stopped in the middle of a stres/sidewalk/store to look at someone for just a few more seconds. Hell, I couldn’t stop staring at a picture in a magazine just the other week. :wink:

Women have a reputation for being able to ‘hide’ this sort of thing better, but one time I was heading out to lunch with a bunch of guys from my old job: there was a stunning man in the lobby, and I actually walked into the corner of the reception desk because my eyes were riveted but my feet kept moving. :smack: Luckily, no one noticed…especially the man in the lobby. {grin}

I’m 22 and still haven’t fully outgrown it; it’s rather pathetic. I think I hide it fairly well though, so I can take a tiny amount of solace in that while I act like a slack jawed simpleton, the object of my affections may not be entirely aware of it.

I always feel so wrong when I ogle someone. But sometimes there’s just no way around it, especially when that someone is tall and lean with dark curly hair. I keep looking, looking away, and sneaking another glance. I’ve even been known to occasionally walk into things. It’s rather rare for me to be really affected in this way, but the right combination of features along with the right…I dunno, attitude, I guess…mrowr.

Mmm. Tall, dark hair, large long-fingered hands, a good smile…I’m going to daydream now. :smiley:

Daydream, eh? So that’s what the kids are calling that these days. I recall a singularly striking fellow who ran a cheese stand that came to our little village in Germany every Wednesday during the local market. I am about as straight as can be, but even I was able to look at the guy and say, “Damn, that’s guy is good looking”. He had dark features, dark curly hair that draped to almost his shoulders, and a well tanned and muscled torso that rippled through his white cotton t-shirt. Sort of like the stuff that female fantasy writers script. Of course this was reinforced by the line of local women queued up for cheese every Wednesday morning. The guy could have been selling bark and their still would have been a line. I asked my wife if she ever bought cheese at the market and she just replied, “Oh, him!” Followed by a sigh and a dreamy, far away laugh.

Isn’t there a vague, awful misogyny lurking here?

Oh, well.
:stuck_out_tongue:

I live in a small college town, which therefore is mostly deserted in the summer. Thank god, because I hate to think what would have happened if there had been other cars on the road around me when I saw this ludicrously gorgeous brunette walk out to her car in a very flattering bikini and flip-flops. Poised, leggy as all hell, fit, gorgeous shoulder-length hair pulled back, and that…uh…posterior, and those…ahem. You get the picture.

A moment I’ll never forget.

In retrospect I hope my ogling as I drove by wasn’t too obvious, but it probably was. Weaving, jerking the brakes, etc. Yikes.

Holy crap she was hot!

I’ve never acted like an idiot, or stumbled into anything because of a good looking girl, but one time, years ago, I was at McDonalds with a friend of mine really late at night and this gorgeous woman walked in. She was so hot, I could feel myself blush, and had to turn away. I could not look at her, she was so damn hot.

I’ve never seen anybody that hot since, and I sometimes wonder, if I saw her today, would I react the same?

Just thought I would let you know you’re not alone. :slight_smile: I am also a 32 year old woman. A few years ago, my then husband had his wisdom teeth pulled. I didn’t see the oral surgeon when I dropped him off - just the nurse. When the surgeon walked him out of the back, I was dumb-struck. The surgeon was gorgeous!! I just stood there, speechless and motionless, staring, with the doctor trying to hand me my husband. The last thing I expected was to see such a hot dentist!! (late thirties, blond, blue eyes, tennis player build, tan, great smile… sigh) The surgeon looked at me like he thought I must be stupid - he didn’t understand what my problem was… Luckily, my husband found it funny rather than insulting. He should have warned me in advance that he had such a good-looking surgeon! :smack:

My roommate’s fiancee’s cousin came to visit last week, and I didn’t know what to do about her. She’s from Kentucky, and maybe she’s just full of Southern friendliness, but she wouldn’t quit looking me right in the eye. Women who look like that just don’t make that make that much eye contact with me. I thought she would have understood that. I seriously didn’t know how to talk to her.

Every time I see a stunning lady, I tend to do the opposite. My eyes constantly lock onto her face if I really need to talk to her and my neck muscles pop out in an effort to stop gawking. If I do need to check her out I start looking at about 25° beyond her, then turn my head to 25° on the otherside while swivling my eyes. Hardly perfect, but I least I’m not too obvious.

I have brained myself into a lamppost a few years ago; she was worth it too. :slight_smile:

I try to improve myself - I really do.