[QUOTE=RickJay]
I mean, holy shit. that’s bad rhyming in multiple ways; the completely irrelevant insertion of “Chicken,” interrupting a sentence to finish a rhyme, and bad metre. Yowza.
[/QUOTE]
I kind of like “love, pride, deep-fried chicken”: the things that are essential, from the noble to the everyday. The rhyme I can’t defend. 
[QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven]
Ever heard of Ogden Nash?
[/QUOTE]
On a postcard from Og (reportedly):
On the shores of Lake Michigan
I bit into a Whitefishigan.
[QUOTE=RickJay]
interrupting a sentence to finish a rhyme
[/QUOTE]
You mean enjambment?
Regarding a previous comment, doctors often say “um-bil-EYE-cull.” Dunno how common it is otherwise.
[QUOTE=Shoshana]
Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas
And he knows just exactly what the facts is
::shudder::
[/QUOTE]
I’ll call your Texas and raise you an abdomen:
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale,
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale -
Fo’ he made his home in
Dat fish’s abdomen -
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale.
Also, it seems there is no two syllable word synonymous with ‘whale’ which, for the writer’s purposes, becomes a fish.
[QUOTE=Biffy the Elephant Shrew]
I dunno. Deriding Carter by comparing him unfavorably to a legendary white boxer from the past makes sense to me. Maybe if Dylan had really wanted to torture the rhyme, he could have added “He ain’t even Errol Flynn.”
[/QUOTE]
I agree. I think this lyric is good, if you know who Gentleman Jim is, and you know who the song is about.
[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
… 2) The forced circumstantial rhyme - Casually throwing in something whose key traits that just happen to rhyme.
From: Billy Joel’s Piano Man
And he’s talking with Davy who’s still in the Navy
I see this type of thing way to often. You can bet your ass that the guy either:
A) Goes by David
OR
B) Is in the Army instead and gets his whole history of service misrepresented just because Billy Joel wants to fill some space cheaply and easily.
I see these types of things way too often.
Any more egregious rhyming violations you want to report?
[/QUOTE]
This is an old vice among bad poets and rhymers. See Essay on Criticism by Alexander Pope, 1711.
Where-e’er you find the cooling Western Breeze,
In the next Line, it whispers thro’ the Trees;
[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
Regarding a previous comment, doctors often say “um-bil-EYE-cull.” Dunno how common it is otherwise.
[/QUOTE]
Upon hearing the XTC song, I thought it might be a British pronunciation, similar to ur-EYE-nal.
“Betty Davis Eyes”, anyone?
She’s precautious,
And she knows just
What it takes to make a pro blush
…
She’ll let you take her home,
It works her appetite
She’ll lay you on the throne,
Nice try, but it doesn’t rhyme.
…
[QUOTE=Biffy the Elephant Shrew]
Upon hearing the XTC song, I thought it might be a British pronunciation, similar to ur-EYE-nal.
[/QUOTE]
It may be a native pronunciation somewhere, but not for Partridge, how acknowledges that it’s a forced rhyme.
[QUOTE=dwc1970]
“Betty Davis Eyes”, anyone?
She’s precautious,
And she knows just
What it takes to make a pro blush
[/QUOTE]
Not that it makes the unbelievably forced rhyme much better, but that word is “precocious.”
The Sex Pistols, “Anarchy in the UK”:
I am an Antichrist!
And I am an anarchist!
…and Johnny Rotten totally makes it rhyme, but mangling the last “i” of anarchist. :dubious:
[QUOTE=bleach]
KISS is no Billy Joel when it comes to rhyming.
Exhibit 1: Detroit Rock City
Ten O’Clock and I know I gotta hit the ROAD
First I drink then I SMOKE
Start the car and I try to make the midnight SHOW
Points awarded because I guess all of those have an “O” sound in there, but jeez.
[/QUOTE]
What’s wrong with this? I actually usually prefer the sorts of near rhymes to hard monosyllabic masculine rhymes. Certainly sounds less cheesy that way.
One that really bugs me when I hear it one the radio: Evanescence My Immortal…
“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years”
What? Couldn’t work in “beers”? “Arrears?” Not even “steers”?
[QUOTE=Astroboy14]
What? Couldn’t work in “beers”? “Arrears?” Not even “steers”?
[/QUOTE]
How about “musketeers”?
[QUOTE=Astroboy14]
One that really bugs me when I hear it one the radio: Evanescence My Immortal…
“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years”
What? Couldn’t work in “beers”? “Arrears?” Not even “steers”?
[/QUOTE]
“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
And then I went
ropin’ steeeeeeeers”
I like it.
Actually, a forced rhyme can work quite nicely:
All brilliant rhymes.
or
The one that always bugs me (I’ve posted it here before) is from U2’s “Beautiful Day”:
You thought you’d found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend…
A hand
In return for grace
Just one more of many reasons I can’t stand the guy.
[QUOTE=woodstockbirdybird]
The one that always bugs me (I’ve posted it here before) is from U2’s “Beautiful Day”:
You thought you’d found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend…
A hand
In return for grace
Just one more of many reasons I can’t stand the guy.
[/QUOTE]
This is the second example like this. Are you complaining about enjambment? In other words, your complaint is that the rhyme is not end stopped?
[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
This is the second example like this. Are you complaining about enjambment? In other words, your complaint is that the rhyme is not end stopped?
[/QUOTE]
Precisely. Makes it sound like extremely lazy writing.
[QUOTE=woodstockbirdybird]
Precisely. Makes it sound like extremely lazy writing.
[/QUOTE]
I disagree. The use of enjambment in lyrics and poetry keeps the rhythms of the line smooth and natural, and allow rhyme not to hit you over the head. Similiarly, slant rhyming (pointed out in some cases above) allows the writer to include more naturalistic and surprising words as rhymes while still having some of the effect of rhyme.
In some cases, slants might be used out of laziness. Enjambment rarely is, as most people find it much easier to write end-stopped lines than enjambed ones.