Perhaps, they are too busy using their “spidey-senses.” [/Sarcasm] 
Women are told not to do those things…but it seems that even if we’re “good girls” who follow all the precautions, we STILL get groped or assaulted. A lot of the time, it doesn’t matter how the victim is dressed, or what she’s doing.
And, what’s more, women are told that they have no right to feel the way they feel. We’re told that we don’t know what we want, and that we secretly desire this sort of attention. Or we’re jealous of the women who are getting this attention. Not all of this is happening in this thread, or the thread before it, but whenever gender issues come up, there’s a few males who say that men are natural leaders, and women love alpha males, no matter what women say.
A spidey sense is actually being vigilant, and noticing things that seem out of place. For instance, a guy who uses an odd way of physically contacting people.
No, a spidey-sense is an ability that Spider-Man possesses.
I know how Spiderman uses the term. However, when I use it, I mean that I can tell that a person or situation is not a normal person or situation, and that’s how I’ve been interpreting other people using it, too.
I’ve been bitten by spiders, but as far as I know, not radioactive ones.
:dubious:
You should read the book ‘Blink’ perhaps.
Or talk to a cop. Or a Doctor. They call their ‘spidey sense’ hunches.
Maybe it’s the wording that’s really offending you. You seem kind of hooked on the Spiderman thing.
I’ve been on more airplanes than I can count. I’ve never experienced that dread that makes people get off a flight, that you often hear about, and I’m a tad nervous as a flyer. But if I did, I don’t think I’d get on the plane. Some people would, and count themselves rationalists. That’s what makes us different, because I wouldn’t.
What would you do? If your wife and two small children were about to get on a plane, and she was suddenly, passionately, overcome with dread, while normally having never exhibited this behaviour previous, nor seems in any way the type. Would you drag her onto the plane? I wouldn’t. Different strokes for different folks.
I have managed risk very well in my life, in places and circumstance wild and varied. I don’t have any problem with using my spidey sense to my advantage. Suggesting people actively over ride such feeling seems very odd to me.
Cite?
No, it’s the idea that some people seem to think their instincts are flawless that bothers me.
Reality: No one has the power to predict the future.
I was more saying that there seemed to be an inconsistency, ie defending his ‘right’ to be annoying while saying the OP doesnt have that same right.
Otara
I doubt anyone here would fault a cop or a doctor for having a hunch. Someone being arrested or having their spleen taken out because of one is another matter.
That’s fine. Going up to the pilot and telling him your wife has a hunch a particular passenger should be watched isn’t. Reporting someone to gym management based on a hunch also isn’t fine.
The OP has the right. However, I’m not sure what it would prove (probably nothing). From the information that was presented, I’m pretty sure the “instincts” are wrong in this case.
But they may not be, so theres nothing inherently wrong with asking management to see if theres more to it by keeping an eye out. Its a judgment call at the end of the day in my view.
Given you werent even there, I cant really see how you can be so confident that your take is most likely to be the correct one.
Otara
I guess I just don’t see, “Someone’s behaviour is making me uncomfortable, I just wanted to tell someone.” is terribly accusatory, damning, stigmatizing or tainting. I see this as no harm, no foul.
I’d really like to know who said anything remotely implying such a thing, in this thread? Can you show us who said any such thing?
And that right there is the issue. You’ve been around here long enough for me to know that you aren’t stupid, so either you are being deliberately obtuse, or just never think of ramifications beyond your own comfort.
Elbows, you are right in saying that letting someone know isn’t necessarily a huge damning deal. The thing about it is though, It can be. Particularly in the last few years when people have become wound way up about pervs, pedophiles, and terrorists. It doesn’t take much for something like that to be blown way out of all proportion and someone innocent ends up with their rights violated, or their reputation ruined all in the name of safety or security. Most private places would simply ask a patron to leave simply to avoid any possibility of future liability.
Any time you hear of a crime against a woman or a child, they immediately look at the men involved with those people first. That is a good thing because statistics show that they are likely to be involved. What is bad, is that the mere suggestion is itself a damning stain incredibly difficult to remove. Writ smaller, this situation is similar. Most people wait until they have a good solid reason to complain because they understand that their complaint will affect another human being. They want to be as sure as they can be in their assertion, observation, or accusation. THAT is why it isn’t cool just to operate on hunches. If you are wrong, ( Occam tells us that you most likely WILL be wrong with only that level of confirmation) it isn’t always a “no blood, no foul” situation. Increasingly it is becoming one where a suggestion is enough to trigger a chain of unneeded, annoying, possibly damaging events.
There is nothing wrong with employing situational awareness, just keep it to yourself unless you are confident enough to make a police report about it. If you wouldn’t testify in court to your interpretation of your observations, then your hunch, however correct it may be in the future, is rubbish and should be kept to yourself.
I dont think its reasonable to expect people not to make complaints simply because they may get mishandled by someone else. You might as well say nothing should be said because a fight may break out and SOMEONE COULD DIE.
People complain about other customer behaviour all the time, in a large variety of settings. I think you’re seeing this situation as far more risky than it really is.
Otara
All right, let’s use a simple example that is more cut and dry than the one at hand.
You are at the public park with your kid at the playground. There are lots of other parents and children around. You notice a man hanging out on one of the benches taking pictures of the kids. He seems to have a nice camera, not a point and shoot pocket deal, but no other gear. There are no children’s toys, backpack, etc near him. This strikes your “spidey-sense” as weird. What do you do?
A. Mention it to another parent and ask their opinion?
b. Go over there and politely talk to the guy to see what he is doing?
c. Grab a few other parents and confront the man in a curt manner?
d. Assume he is a creep and grab some other parents and confront him in a terse manner?
e. Assume he is a creep and don’t say anything to him but notify the park police, ranger/workers, about the suspected creep?
Anything outside of A or B is assuming a conclusion based upon evidence you do not possess. You are letting your hunch walk you down a fantasy built to suit your views rather than observing more, or gathering the information yourself and acting appropriately.
So let us say that you choose to talk politely to the man, possibly with another parent as back up. He replies that he is photographer and gives you his card. It has his name, number and website on it. We will also assume that if you check the site on your phone, it seems like an average amateur photo site. It has pictures of all sorts of stuff including children playing, animals, etc… The other parent seems satisfied with this and you both go back to your benches. YOUR spidey sense is still pinging though. Obviously if the man is a perv, he’s covered his tracks enough to keep out of trouble. So do you act on your hunch? Or do you assume that the man is simply who he says he is?
It has little to do with taking the assumption of damage to a hyperbolic extreme. In our above scenario, if you took further measures, you would be acting irrationally and probably ruining the day of a perfectly innocent person. By all means complain away, just have something to back up your complaint other than" He just seems creepy to me". THAT isn’t good enough.
Oh, goodness, nobody would want to risk “ruining the day of a perfectly innocent person”. In the risk management situations we’re discussion, of course that should unquestionably take precedence.
Yes, it should, since you have no logical reason to do so. It is exactly the same as picking some random person out and reporting them to the police for being suspicious.
Coincidentally, this article just ran in the local news today: Man Seen Taking Pictures Near School
I actually thought of this thread when I read it. Summary: Some kids saw a guy snapping some photos of some girls walking home from school. They reported it (to school management or the cops, I’m not sure) and the school sent home a notification for people with a description of the man and his car and a request for people to be alert.
I’m not providing this as fodder for one side or the other of this argument. I just thought it was an amusing coincidence, considering your hypothetical there.