So, I’m at the gym last night. It was really busy 'cause most people get their case of the guilts over the weekend and decide to make a fresh start on Monday. I was meeting my very pregnant friend to swim (which is completely irrelevant to what happened, but, hey, it’s why I was there), and all the lanes were taken and she wasn’t there yet, so I was just sitting on one of the benches twiddling my thumbs, in my bathing suit, trying to cover up my slightly rounded stomach (I’m not pregnant, so I have no excuse). Then some asshat next to me who wasn’t waiting for the pool, but evidently there on the prowl starts sidling up to me. He scoots closer and closer while I sit there, trying to ignore him. Finally, our legs are nearly touching and he leans over and says hi. Trying not to be rude, I say hi and turn away. He continues, asking all the usual questions - how are you, do you come here often, blah, blah, blah. So he asks what I’m doing after I swim, and I say very pointedly, “Oh, I’m going home to cook dinner for my husband.”
He responds with, “Oh, you weren’t married last time we met.” Now I think I’d remember meeting someone this creepy, no matter how long it had been since I first met them, so I just gave a noncommittal grunt, turned away and proceeded to ignore him. He sort of strokes my arm a couple of times, so I edge away. He does it again, so I say, “What do you WANT?” He asks if I have single friends. I say really loudly, “All my friends are either engaged, married, married and pregnant or married with kids.” He looks a little disappointed. I’m thinking, thank God, this guy is finally going to bugger off, but he doesn’t! He sidles up to me again so our legs are touching, I try to jump away, but he grabs my arm and asks me if I’d be interested in an extramarital affair. So, I say very loudly, “No, I will not have an extramarital affair, now please get the hell away from me and never talk to me again!” I tug myself out of his grasp and walk to the side of the pool to wait for a lane.
Why the fuck do people do this? Why do they think it’s acceptable??? I swear to fucking God if I see this guy again, I will rip his balls off and cramp them down his fucking throat. Digusting.
This is definitely not one of those things you tell the husband. He’d go apeshit.
