Well, my fiance and I are off to Vegas in March to elope. I didn’t want to big froo-froo expensive wedding so we felt this was the best way to go. Sweet and simple with just our family there. So I guess since I’m a newbie at all this stuff, when is the most appropriate time to send out the announcements? I have them printed up already). Also, is it best to include a picture? We didn’t want to register so people would not feel obligated to get us a gift (I don’t care either way at all) but people are telling us to register anyway! Is that right? One last thing - I also have friends that are shocked we are not having some kind of reception. Is it best to host a little intimate get-together at our home for close friends?
Ugh… so it’s coming up quickly and although we want to have a private, intimate wedding we don’t want to look like fools in our approach to announcing it. Any suggestions?
You are not under any obligation at all to have a post-elopement reception for your friends and family. You should only do it if you want to. People may tell you that this is selfish, but it’s YOUR wedding and marriage so do as you and fiance please.
One idea would be that you can announce to people the date and place you will be married ahead of time–if they want to show up to watch, hey, great, but you’re not specifically inviting them and therefore don’t have to pay for them. (If some people do decide to show up, you could suggest that you all go out to dinner afterwards and everyone pays their own way. Or, if just a few show up, you could pay for them. It will still be way cheaper than the standard wedding of $25,000.)
As for registering, to me, it is tacky to not invite folks but to expect a present. I would not include a registery; if people want to give you something, you could have a list of charities that people can donate to in your name. (But wait until they ask. I usually don’t send wedding presents unless I am actually invited to the wedding, whether I go or not.)
Send the wedding announcements right after you get home (it’s improper to send wedding announcements before the actual wedding). Save yourself some hassle and address a few a night every night from now till you leave. With them all addressed, stamped, and ready to go, you can just dump them in the mailbox when you get home. You can include a picture if you feel so inclined (just don’t seal your envelopes when you address them), but it’s perfectly fine not to. I mean, people who have formal weddings don’t provide every guest with complimentary copies of a wedding picture.
As for registering, I don’t think I’d go that far, although it’s purely a matter of personal preference. A lot of people are going to want to give you gifts, and WILL give you gifts whether you want them or not, no matter how small and informal your wedding is. People will probably be bombarding you with questions about what you’d like, so it would be a good idea to at least think about what you could use or would like to upgrade. If people don’t get you that stuff, you already have your Christmas and birthday suggestions in mind, so it saves you trouble either way.
The reception, again, is purely a matter of personal preference. Yes, a small contingent will be horrified if you don’t have one, but it’s time you got used to the first axiom of being a bride–NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR HOW YOU DO IT, SOMEBODY’S GOING TO BE HORRIFIED. You go all out for a lavish spectacle, and somebody will be horrified by the amount of money you’re spending. You go for something small and intimate, and somebody will be horrified that you’re not making a big fuss of it all. Somebody will be horrified at your choice of dress, flowers, music, food, or setting. It’s just one of the basic facts of planning a wedding.
A friend of mine got married in hawaii then had a party when they got back. A party is much less expensive then a wedding and everyone got a chance to wish them well and feel included. As for registering, if friends and family are requesting it… why not? Whatever you decide ENJOY and Congratulations!
We eloped without telling anyone right before Christmas. After our immediate family got over the shock and dismay, I wrote notes to everyone else to tell them we’d gotten married. Never even considered a registry, and I think we got a candy dish from one aunt, and that was it.
Now, for our 6th anniversary, we did a reaffirmation of vows in a church ceremony and we had a small party after. I can honestly say I don’t regret not having a big fancy wedding.
I guess “eloping” was not the right word to use. Everyone knows we are going off to get married in Las Vegas with just the family. I agree with all of you above, too, that a registering would be in poor taste in our case, which is fine by me. I guess we’ll just send out the announcements when we get back, and possibly host a get-together with friends later down the road. Luckily, we’ve had good support from family and friends about not including everyone in a big to-do wedding. Maybe it’s because they all know I’m pregnant 
Or maybe it’s because you’ve got a cool family. Happy wedding, happy pregnancy, and happy baby to you, sweetie!