"Elves" are discovered to exist. How does the world react?

I put elves in quotation marks because I don’t mean Galadriel, Ernie Keebler, or even that nitwit misfit who quit to be a dentist. I’m using elves as shorthand for a sister race of humanity, much longer lived than the primary branch, possessing such advanced technology that it could be mistaken for magic, and living in a hidden realm. (I had trouble fitting that into the subject line.)

You can answer the thread question based on just that little description, of course. But, for people who have to have a setup, I’ll provide one, spoiler-spaced so as not to annoy the anti-setup crowd:

A group of Antarctic researchers, exploring whatever area of the continent is most inhospitable for whatever reason people do crap like that, goes missing and is presumed popsicled. Several weeks after their disappearance, they are miraculously returned to their home base – oh, let’s say Seattle, shall we? – in a wingless robot aerodyne. Landing near the Space Needle, the aerodyne allows its passengers to debark and then zips off. It moves far too quickly for any other vehicle to keep up with, and at any rate it does not show up on radar or satellite.

Of the twelve researchers who were lost, only ten show up in Seattle. These ten have a fantastic story to tell. They went missing during a storm and thought themselves doomed when they were brought into a hidden city inhabited by people who call themselves the Yons, who live in a hidden city in Antarctica. A week after the ten arrive in Seattle, another Yon ship appears. This one’s not a robot; there’s twenty-Yon delegation, plus the last two researchers. And this one goes to New York City–specifically the UN building. The Yon have decided to reveal themselves to the world.

The Yons have skin as dark as Masai; long, straight hair that is either scarlet or gold; and vaguely Japanese facial features. Adult Yon women reach an average height of 6’6", while the men average 7’1". All their technology is as terrifically advanced as the ship that brought the researchers home. Their language seems related to Sanskrit, but Yons speak multiple mundane languages, learned from monitoring our communications. They live about 500 years on average: partly because they have much better medicine than we do, and partly because they are just more robust. Their senses are more acute than ours, and they are more agile as well. Nonetheless, they are genetically closer to humans than humans are to chimpanzees. There are three Yon cities, all hidden, and a total population of just under a million.

The Yon once lived alongside the rest of us, in settlements on every continent but Australia. But about three thousand years ago, judging the rest of humanity to be ooky, they obliterated all evidence of their cities and relocated to Antarctica. Before the twentieth century they used their technology merely to protect themselves from the environment; but for the last eighty years or so they’ve also used it to conceal themselves from our planes, satellites, and so forth.

It was more than simple altruism that moved the Yons to reveal themselves. There’s been growing discontent among their citizens, particularly the younger ones, at being cut off from the outside world; in addition, some Yons think they have a responsibility to help humanity avoid the environmental catastrophe of global warming, even though the have the tech to save themselves from the effects. This all came to a head when the researchers had to be rescued. The delay in returning them came from the need to consult the leaders of all three cities before the Yons revealed themselves. But now they have done so; they are willing to share some but not all of their technology; that is, they’ll help us create cleaner energy sources and better medical therapies, but anybody who wants death rays, cloaking tech, or robot hypersonic planes is invited to fuck off, because sharing that stuff is not in their rational self-interest. Some of the younger Yon are interested in touring the world, and they want permission for that; in return, they’ll allow a limited number of baseline humans to visit their cities.

How do you think the world will react to these Elves? I am interested in both geopolitical implications and individual psychological reactions.

I don’t feel like typing out the extremely long response I think this interesting hypothetical deserves, but let me say I think most people would be hostile (at best) to the Yons. I think there would be terrorist plots against them. I think there might be all out acts of war from some countries (possibly even this one). Humanity would resent their superiority, and (paradoxically) would resent that they didn’t help us all the times they could have and people died. They would be held up as the ultimate scapegoat. If they were as advanced as you postulate, they may not be threatened by us, but I think they’d get tired of the hassle in a few years and go back into hiding. Any tech they gave us would be used against them, or reverse engineered to.

There would also be fanboys who would try to go live with them, and would fetishize their culture.

And there would be new porn.

I agree, the major thought would be, “Let’s kill them and take their stuff.”

Given that the Yon have already said (diplomatically of course) that anybody who wants death rays, force shields, and cloaking devices can fuck themselves, I think it’s likely the only provide tech that is hundreds of years out of date, from their POV. They’re not going to give us anything more advanced (from their POV) than a steam engine, on account of them thinking that baselines suck.

Nuke them NOW, right now damned!

… I mean I’ll give it 20 years before the first major conflict… and 100 before they’re eradicated. Might as well get a head start and wipe them out.

Yeah, ok, but we would still try. That’s my point. I mean, it may be the equivalent of a chimp trying to kill us with a bunch of sticks, but still. I would imagine they’d get tired of fending off even minor threats before long. They’ve already said “fuck it” to the human race once; my point is, if they came out of hiding we’d work really quickly to remind them why they did. I hate being so pessimistic, but shit. We can’t get along with anyone.

Well, they know where WE are. We don’t they where THEY are. You don’t think the Chinese, for instance, might say, “Hey, let’s enter into an alliance against those damn Russians and Americans? They’re the ones who kept the Doomsday Clock no less than a quarter to midnight for the last 50 years.”

Ok… add the traitorous scum researches to the killing list. Yon asskissers.

Besides, they’re under the antarctic ice, right? That’s what you were thinking.

What makes you think they’d be the ones eradicated, GHO57? Sure, some governments would doubtless be foolish enough to attack them, but I think it’s a foregone conclusion that they’d fail.

To the OP, I don’t really see this as being all that different, in the broad strokes, than any of the standard “we come in peace” alien scenarios. The only difference is that they’re closely related to us, and that, if anything, considerably simplifies matters, rather than complicating them: Religions would consider them to have souls and to be subject to the same spiritual constraints as the rest of us (Hindus would say they reincarnate, Christians would say that they were subject to the Fall but redeemed by Christ, etc.), they’d be similar enough that we’d have a good chance of understanding them, there’d be a chance of significant numbers of members of either species finding the other attractive (and yes, that includes sexually), their mere existence wouldn’t tell us anything interesting about biology or the origin of life, and so on. True aliens would be much more interesting.

Chronos, it’s the religious and philosophical implications I’m largely interested in.

As to the sexual: what if they generally find us rather, shall we say, repulsive? Their senses are a lot more acute than hours; what we perceive as minor variations in scent might seem huge to them.

Which part of cloaking tech was unclear? :slight_smile:

Besides, they’ve been monitoring the baselines for a minimum of a century, and maybe longer. (They could have sent some of the shorter folks out, with wigs and other disguises, as spies, or just tourists, long ere radio.) They come from the same evolutionary stock as us, so they’re probably a little cynical or at least wary. Gondolin, Doriath, & Nargothrond may well be thousands of miles from where they picked up the researchers.

Kill them and eat them. This is the default answer to every single “alien encounter” scenario. Any other response leads directly and invariably to the extinction of the human race.

Have you not read war of the worlds? Seen V? We always win.

There has to be fewer of them, because with that lifespan they can’t procreate like humans. We’ve got a numerical advantage… both in fighting bodies, as well as parallel processing brain pool size… we also have more people to sacrifice if need be.


The problem is, they’re too much like human. They’re superior in every conceivable way… but I can’t see “niceness” being an evolutionary advantage. They’re most likely just as bad as humans deep down. Taking that into consideration… how long before the deathrays are going to start changing hands for… you know, virgins, drugs… lightly sauteed human babies.

We’ll end up fighting them. Luckily they’re close to humans, any biological or chemical weapon that can kill humans should work on them too. And we can always target the differences in DNA. We can throw 20 million of our best minds to the task… are they that much smarter? I doubt it. And any weapon that kills all of them, and half of humans still leaves us with 3 billion people to kick them in the nuts when they’re down.

I say we nuke the Himalayans (where Skald moved them just now)

Alls I can say is if they come to MY country they damn well better speak English because I refuse to press two for yet another group of foreigners!

I know it’s very hot where you are, dearest, because we’re in the same place. That said, please take a deep breath and then drink yourself some sweet tea. You’re a tad hysterical. :smiley:

Damn straight!
(It’s pretty hot over to your West, too.)

:cool:
I’m cool, I’m cool.

Saturday Night Live script-The Elf.

Credit card offers, email spam for Viagra and Nigerian scams, Priceline deals and sub-prime loans. We will conquer them!!!

-Demand our orphaned socks back.

I think this is a more realistic scenario. Us humans would be soon fighting among ourselves over whether to join them or fight them.

I see the split as between the capitalists/authoritarians who want to figure out how to either make a buck out of it or use their technology to enhance their power in whatever sphere, and socialists/democrats who would want their technology used for the benefit of all - especially if they have the means to prevent global warming, but require us to stop making it worse first. The oil companies would probably fire the first shots - or rather file the first injunctions against them under who knows what clause of who knows what law…

I would also think that they must find us sexually repulsive on some level, or sufficiently incompatible to mate with us - similar to us and the great apes (yeah, a few may have tried relations, but that just doesn’t wash with the vast, vast, vast, vast majority of our race.) Any sexual relations would be considered bestiality and extremely taboo to them, or else we would have more interesting legends and urban myths about tall exotic elves (or succubi, devas, demons, etc.)

Finally, I think the cultural exchange would be as great as any scientific exchange. I would love to see their art, hear their music, read their literature. That may even have a greater impact on our daily lives than their tech.

I would also see pan-theists such as Hindus, animists, Daoists, etc. adjusting far better than monotheists. To the Hindus, they probably would be considered devas or some such.

And personally as a pacifist Buddhist socialist, I would favor ‘joining’ them, and would definitely apply for a visa to visit their cities. (Where I tragically learn the true meaning of “How to Serve Man”.)

AP