email spam, aka Bill Gates wants to give you money

I’m sure this type of thread has been posted a million times but I am so fried!
I have 3 people who I get email from. They are new to email and REFUSE to learn how to forward messages without sending pages and pages and pages of headers. Naturally they are not going to reformat the text so it’s not all strung out with extraneous spaces and >>>>>!
So, I nicely send them info about how to check out urban legends. Last week I sent a great message on things like why the stupid neiman marcus cookie is a fraud and why bill gates and AOL are not going to track your email and send you a check for $247. Imagine my surprise when I opened my email this am and got not 1, not 2, but THREEE forwards on the Bill Gates/AOL hoax!
I hope when you idiots FINALLY get a clue, you get spammed a MILLION times with cookie recipes, P&G Satanic Cult Warnings, Aspartime gives you cancer warnings, Dumb daily devotionals, and nobody EVER sends you a message without at least 7 pages of headers!!!
May you all be infected with AIDS from needles in telephone change boxes, may gang members slash your ankles from underneath your cars, may you have your kidneys removed and wake up in a hotel bathtub full of ice, and may you have 10 dozen Neiman-Marcus Cookies shoved up your butt!

Amen and hallelujah, brother (or sister).

Thanks for the laugh on an otherwise crappy-ass day.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous

A friend forwarded this to me this morning… go James go!!

Hello, my name is James Blighter. I am suffering from a rare and deadly disease; poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution and guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send “his” email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every Playboy
model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
Fuck them. If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 50 of your closest friends,and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel’s care.”
Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it’s your own unpopularity.

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

am i the only one having problems here? my last message was typed when i was in a different thread and ended up here

Sue - I was too - don’t know whats up.

“When I was seventeen…I had a very good beer…”

  • Homer Simpson

Funny, I got a blatantly illegal chain letter forwarded to me the other day. From someone at AOL, or more likely, a straw mailer from AOL. Anyway, the funny thing is this (more illegal than soliciting the underaged commissioner of the IRS for insider-traded sex and sales of nuclear secrets) chain letter said it was perfectly legal about twenty times. I was thinking, tell me something once and I’ll think it might be bogus; tell me something twenty times and I’ll know it’s bogus. (But I know all chain letters are bogus anyway.)

Please forward this thread to six billion of your closest friends. Soon, everyone in the world will know about it.

My sister sends me this stuff all the freaking time, if it isn’t Bill Gates giving away money it’s Honda giving away cars. I’ve told her a thousand times it’s fake, and every time she says that she knows that it is probably too good to be true, but just in case…
Spare me! She even sends this junk to my son’s e-mail, the kids four!

Another thing that bugs me is when someone sends me a forward, then all our mutual friends forward it to me, too. Since these people have never heard of BCC, it would be very easy for them to check if it has already been sent to somebody.

I love these people, and I know that they are, in their own minds, doing me a favor by letting me in on these “opportunities” but enough is enough!

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” Albert Einstein

I haven’t been told that Bill Gates wants to give me money lately, but oodles of my friends have been convinced that M&M/Mars wants to give us free candy for the millenium if we forward their message. Of course they can track it with their state-of-the-art E-mail tracking system.

The thing that really galls me, is I debunk every one of these e-mails that comes to me, yet one of my friends (and frequent recipient of my debunking e-mails) recently sent me a warning against forwarding hoaxes and a list of anti-hoax websites to check out. Several on the list are ones I’ve referred her to in the past. Heeelllllooooooo!! At least she finally got the clue that you can’t trust everything in your in-box.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

Gates is giving out money?

I cannot believe I haven’t seen that one yet! At the risk of perpetuating the horror, can someone please post or mail me the text of the free money gag?

(I guess I’ve finally trained my friends too well)


I hope you know what you’ve done andros. We’ve got almost 3000 registered members here. You’re gonna get about 2000 copies of this one. I’ll will, however, restrain myself.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

Oh, praire poop. You’re right. Thank ghod I don’t have my work address in my profile . . .


My personal favorite is when I get the same damn forward from the same person twice. After I had debunked it for them the first time. Will people never learn?

The most mind-boggling experience I had in relation to urban legends happened to me the other day. I was sitting in Health Services waiting for an appointment when I hear the secretary warning all her other secretary friends about the kidney-theft urban legend. For real. You’d think people health services would know better than that. Damn.


Oh, come on, Bill, please? It’s just a billion! You have 99 more where that came from…

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

I actually asked Saint Bill for money once. I explained I was in college and studying computer science and asked if he could loan me $1500 for a couple years.

He never responded, the bastard.

I’ve given up posting hoax alerts. Those posters just keep sending me the same old shit. If the subject says “please read this”, or “return this if you’re a true friend”, or “Alert! new email virus!”, then I just delete the fucking thing. If it says “This is REALLY funny”, then I scan the first sentence, like I’m the audience at Evening AT The Apollo.

CanadianSue: Talk about great minds thinking alike. I started a whole thread in MPSIMS decated to that email.

And yeah, shameless bastard that I am, I posted the uncut version of it.

And yeah, shameless bastard that I am, this post is a promo for my freakin’ thread. :slight_smile:

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

I take the pre-emptive strike approach. I emailed everyone in my address book the following link…

It has worked except in the case of one individual whom I taught a lesson. I embarrassed him by sending a detailed reply debunking the hoax as something only an idiot could believe. But wait there’s more, I sent the reply not only to him, but everyone on the cc: list that he sent the message to. He’s stopped.

Well I heard that Bill Gates wants to have my baby

I used to waste my time debunking the legends and sending out web sites and explainations. Why did I even bother??? The same 3 people are still sending me this stuff and they had the GALL to get mad at me for telling them the stuff was fake!!! I even did it politely with not a single mean word!
I’d block their email but two are cousins and one is a good friend–except for this mania for forwarding chain mail!!!

This is a neat site:

I’ve considered sending it to people who keep forwarding me this garbage with a message saying something like, “Thanks but I’m not interested in Bill Gate’s Money/M&Ms/Cookie Recipes/Trip to Disney World/boycotting Procter and Gamble/etc. However, there’s someone at this URL who would be more than happy to accept these messages in the future. Thanks and have a great day!”

But I’m too nice :wink:

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

I discovered another solution for this. For my work address (where I use Outlook for my mail) I told people who cannot resist sending me this stuff to put “spam” in the subject (I was hoping that by having to type that it would discourage them. It didn’t)
Now my e-mail program automatically filters it into the garbage. Now I don’t even see it until I go to empty my deleted files folder. So far, so good. I just told them that if they don’t label it like that, I get it all mixed up with my work e-mail. Dopes.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.