“In instance 4, the question stem refers to a pineapple but a cantaloupe is pictured. Please change the image to a pineapple. Thank you.”
What are yours?
Dr. Smith, I’m so glad to hear that you are not dead. I appreciate the photo you sent us to demonstrate that you are alive and well. It looks like you had a fantastic time in Mexico. I understand your frustration with zombie doctors, but the intent is to prevent fraud from occurring in the unlikely event that someone in our network is, in fact, decreased and has had their prescription pad or system password stolen.
Your office staff should update your information in the national database to let them know you’re incorrectly listed as deceased. Thank you for letting us know of your concern.
Not an email, but a direct message to my insurance provider.
I ordered a pair of orthotics in early October. It appears that the claim was declined due to “The number of units reported exceeds either the typical frequency per day, or the frequency within the global period, or the monthly rental of this item allowed under the provider’s agreement. The allowed unit(s) will be processed on new services line(s).”.
This is puzzling, as orthotics are generally ordered in pairs, unless of course the patient is an amputee.
I do, in fact, have a foot at the end of each leg. While some have accused me of having two left feet (thereby allowing me to alternate a single unit from foot to foot), my feet in fact do appear to be mirror images and if I am to wear such devices, I need a pair of them.
“Thank you for asking if I am pregnant. Being a man, however, the odds of my being pregnant are statistically low.”
Okay, I have another one.
“The image you selected does not show ‘purple yams against a white background.’ Rather, it shows three kittens suckling a mother cat. Which did you intend?”
Shouldn’t that be the other way round ?
Not send but receive (and reply to). My web client has a new employee named Jesus and I don’t have a reason to interact with or hear about him much, so I forget he exists. Every couple months or so I get emails like “Do you have a large photo of Jesus I can use?” or “Jesus asked me to get this posted.” Last week I was CC’d on an email that was a reply to someone else that just said “Ask Jesus, I think he would know.” Any way every time his name is mentioned, I am always always caught off guard.
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/66534174/you-dont-mess-with-the-jesus.jpg
.
Working in a creative field, with overly creative people, I’m often adding to the bottom of my emails:
(Okay, that’s a phrase I never thought I’d find myself typing…)
One time was: “Maybe next time the floor falls out of your car, don’t just abandon the whole car on the side of the freeway.”
Um, Target…? You don’t really think this item on sale this week is an elephant, do you? [attached photo of a ceramic narwhal labeled “Hand Made Modern - Ceramic Elephant”]