Here’s mine: Yesterday I was incredibly sick with the stomach flu. After she got home from work, my mom, like the ministering angel she is, came over to my place to deliver a care package and make me chicken soup. Now since I had been lying in bed all day, she offered to change the sheets, which were by now quite rank. Anyway, she did that, and finished up, and then left. And then I went back in my room, and I realized my dildo collection and lube were out on my desk. Ack…
Tee hee! This reminds me of a story my girlfriend told me…
One night her mom awoke from sleep because the dog was on the bed making noise. She called out, “What is the dog chewing on?” My girlfriend went to the bed and said, “Shit!” Yep. the dog had chewed up her dildo. “Nothing, mom…”
Not quite along the same lines, but I was terribly embarrassed at the time:
I was sixteen, my brother was eleven. We were doing the obligatory five-countries-in-ten-days family European tour (an experience that left me with a strong preference for SLOW-PACED travel, but that’s another story). Mom has been spending a pleasant afternoon consuming large quantities of German lager while Dad takes us nature-hiking. We meet and return to the hotel. Five minutes later, Mom pokes her head into our (kids’) room:
“I just used the bidet! I’ve always wanted to do that! It’s a really refreshing feeling!”
Uh, thanks for the information…
My parents were over at my husband and my apartment helping us move. We had recently come back from our honeymoon and out luggage had spilled out on the floor. My brother loudly pipes up: “It would probly be a good idea to pick your condoms up before our parents come over!” I was mortified and just glared at him. I replied, “yeah, probly would have been a good idea huh?” My dad just chuckled and my mom just turned away. I ended up leaving it there.
Another one was recently. I was complaining about the air conditioning in my bedrooms in my parents house (where we are living for the time being). I was talking about how they turn it off when they get up in the morning. Of course my dad blurts. “It is the heat from all that passion in there isn’ it?” I just looked up blankly and went “huh?” In a suprised negative tone, taken by suprise. My dad starts laughing and my mom, Mrs. Conservative, just walks out of the room.
My dad always has to embarrass me in front of her.
A long time ago, when I was going out with this intensely cute boy from Toronto, he was staying at my house, and it was getting late. And we were, um, sitting in the living room, and Mom called down the stairs to tell me to go to bed. Yes, she knew exactly what we were doing, I’m quite sure.
My parents never caught me fooling around, but the day after my sister’s wedding, we were all at their house for the gift opening. Guests were due to arrive in about an hour. When we (the four of us kids) got there, our parents were missing in action. Down the hall, we heard noises from from their bedroom and for the first time in my life, their door was closed.
Boy did we embarass them when they came out and we were all sitting around the kitchen table smiling at them. My dad was a very shy man, and whoa could he turn tomatoe red when teased that he was still a stud muffin.
My mom was a very prim and proper lady and I think if she could have, she would have crawled under the table and hid from embarassment. It was a great time harassing them!!
Luckily never catching my parents in the act, but my stepmom had to go and tell me all about it. Thats the last thing I want to hear is how her and my dad used to have sex on the Washing machine, on the ping pong table and in the pool I SWAM IN. Gross!!!
As for embarrasing for me. I was in day camp at Rollins College and swimming was my last activity of the day. This hottie bo bottie was one of our instructors. So me being at that akward fat and just grew boobs stage, has my moms old bathing suit on, (too big). So I was just playing around waiting for my turn to swim across the pool and I go to the bottom on the 13 foot deep pool and pounce off the ground in order to propel myself into the air to catch the bottom of the diving board. So there I am hanging off the diving board about 4 ft from the top of the water, and I see the hottie looking at me, Of course from my 13 yr old mind I think he is impressed with the athletic feat I just mastered. Then one of the other girls say “Hey Mandi” and pointed down, so I looked down and one of my boobs was hanging out the whole time I was hanging from the diving board, (about a min. or 2) OH MY I just wanted to drown.
Okay, this is not half as embarrassing as what you guys have written…
On my 18th birthday my boyfriend and my two guy friends came over to have cake with the family.
To my horror, I saw that Ray, like a good boy, had pulled his hair back into a ponytail (my mom told me she likes it when he wears his hair back and not all hanging in his face, and Ray will do anything to keep my mom from hating him). Granted, I wasn’t mad that he had his hair back, but he had a big-ass hickey on his neck! This wasn’t an ordinary hickey…it was huuuuge! I mean, his intentions were well and good but wouldn’t he have wanted it covered up?
I was hoping vainly that Mom didn’t notice, but when I got home from my night out on the town with the guys, she said that my aunt Betty had noticed it and then she asked me about it. I turned really red and didn’t know what to say, so I just walked out of the room.
I’m known as an extremely innocent church-going girl, but since my mom is convinced that I don’t do much more than just kiss guys I was pretty mortified.
::taking notes::
Things I can do to embarrass my daughter…
i’m still young, but i think i’ve had my share of embarassing moments involving my mother…and my boyfriend’s mother…
about two years ago, i was at a marching band competition, and i was getting dressed in my uniform. i asked my mom to help me “zip and clasp” (it’s a band thing), which involved my mom clasping a hook at my neckband. that’s when she noticed the hickey on my neck–the same hickey that i forgot was there. and it’s not like she told everybody about it, but i was just embarassed when she so discretely said, “don’t worry, i’m not going to tell your father about the hickey on your neck…this time.” at which point she walked of giggling to herself, leaving me to my personal embarassment. <<thanx mom>>
okay, and about my boyfriend’s mother…
no offense to her or anything. i love her to death! but she has this way of making random jokes about the two of us, while we’re present. so, it’s not like she just gossips to her friends about us (which i’m sure she does :rolleyes: ), but she embarasses us to our faces. for instance, i was over at his house, and he, his mom, and i were all in the kitchen before dinner. i guess she noticed a scratch on his neck that i’m very sure i didn’t cause. out of nowhere she blurted out, “geez. what’d she do your neck?” and it’s not like i did anything, but it was still embarassing. and she just got the biggest kicks out of her jokes.
gotta love moms… 
This is exactly why i’m glad I saved this old metal lock box (a combination lock in the lid) that my dad didnt need, because i dont want my mom or dad (or brothers) finding my toys :). I’m so paranoid about being embarassed like that i make sure it’s locked everytime I leave the room and think mom or dad may come in to put something away (hey, you live with your brother in the same room for 18 years and you get like that)
Anyway, i dont have anything to share about mom, because she’s pretty good about not embarassing me (and me not embarassing myself in front of her). But, my dad does all kinds of things that embarass us. Like telling my brothers and I that he’s going to have sex with mom, or being rude to people on the phone or at a restaurant.
One of my more suave moments…
Quietgirl gave me a hickey on my shoulder one night, but I wasn’t worried since my shirt covered it. The next day I walked downstairs and my mom said, “Kris, your shirt looks horrible. Let me iron it.”
What could I do? I walked into the bathroom, took it off, and handed it to her with the door closed as far as possible.
Yeah, that was really suave…
::::::: rubbing hands together, trying to decide where to begin!:::::
FIRST date: She starts picking at a pimple on my cheek in front of him.
ANOTHER date, different guy: she starts explaining how my female dog, Pinky’s going in heat is similiar to womens periods!!
FIRST husband: he and I were arguing about something stupid and SHE SPANKS ME!!!
- going off to find my analyst *
When I was 16, I had gone on a couple of dates with some guy, and one night he stopped by my house to hang out. My parents were thrilled that he seemed like a nice, clean-cut guy and they pretty much left us alone and they went upstairs to bed. We lived on a lake, and the guy and I went outside to sit on the dock and were just talking and stuff for like an hour… of course we started making out, at which point I heard my mother’s voice coming out of her bedroom window, “UM, you DO know we can see you, right?” The guy (a redhead) turned the brightest red imaginable, and of course that was the last time I saw him.
Then when I was 21 or so, I had some minor surgery and Mom volunteered to take me and drive me home. I was all doped up on Demerol and she helped me to my room. While helping me into bed, she stepped on my vibrator, but didn’t say anything to me. After she made sure I had fallen asleep, she got on the phone and called all of my sisters (I have 4 of 'em) and told them about it. I got SOOOOO teased at Christmas that year.