(Standard Disclaimer–I am not a financial advisor. I did, however, work for one of the larger providers of 403(b) contracts, and still work in annuities, though no longer primarily with group plans. Speak to your financial advisor before doing anything drastic. The basic backgroud I’m giving here, though, is born from that experience (and, believe me, you get a lot of talk time about loans), and should be as valid as it can be with only generalities instead of specific values/numbers.)
Loans aren’t withdrawals.
I cannot state this clearly enough. A loan is not a withdrawal.
Now, you’d think this would be obvious to people, but it isn’t. The loan has to be paid back. If you default on the loan, on the plans I’m familiar with you have to pay taxes on it. And, if you’re subject to the early withdrawal penalty, then it applies to that to. You get a nice little 1099R with a distribution code of 1 on it.
Thing is? It still isn’t your money. If you’re not eligible to withdraw money from the plan (you’re under 59 1/2, still working for the same employer, or disabled), then you have to pay it back. You’ll be credited your cost basis when you do eventually get to withdraw the contract, but the loan’s gonna continue accruing interest until you pay it back. And a hardship withdrawal cannot be used to pay off the loan, so that option isn’t open to you.
Now, it look like the OP has already taken the maximum loan on the contract. While financial hardship is technically allowed per the IRS, the company and the plan can set restrictions as to how much and when. Additionally, enough must remain in the contract to cover the loan plus collateral; if the OP’s maxed out the loan, it’s likely that the entire shebang’s tied up as collateral and can’t be used for hardship. IME, the only time I’ve seen hardship is when the individual has a small-to-middling loan that they’ve defaulted on. That keeps them from being eligible for additional loans, but also means they have money that isn’t tied up in collateral. Also, some plans might have other restrictions, such as only letting you take out what you put in, and not what the employer has matched with.
It sounds like you legitimately don’t have a hardship withdrawal–or any withdrawal available. It’s also likely that if you did try to close the account, the majority-or-all-of-it might go to paying the loan plus the mandatory withholding (it depends; the 401(k) I’ve seen administered only allowed you to take 50% as the loan. Most of the 403(b)s and 501©3 plans allowed for more than that).
I recommend what dracoi said upthread; hie thee to a bankruptcy attorney, or (if you have one, and the situation isn’t at that point) a financial advisor of some sort. What everyone’s giving you here is just speculation; someone who knows your plan and your assets is going to be a million times better.