Enemy with vast tech superiority tells the US to pay tribute (in PEOPLE) or else. What would we do?

In My Humble Opinion
1

A fired Rhymer Enterprises technomage–let’s call her Medea–swipes a continua buggy, spends a few years amassing a sci-fi arsenal, and returns home with conquest on her mind. Having legions of T-X series Terminators manning Defiant-class starships at her disposal, Medea conquers Great Britain in less than a week; the Continent west of Poland falls over the next few days. Next she provokes Russia into making a nuclear first strike. This was deliberate; she lets a couple of ICBMs make it to her new capital, London, so that it’s clear her force-field tech is more than capable of handling anything the Russians can handle, then vaporizes Moscow with a single blast from one of her wave motion guns and disables all electronic tech there with an EM pulse. Shortly the rest of Europe surrenders to her.

That was weeks one and two. In week three, Medea turns her attention to the United States. She makes the following announcement:

*Hi, everybody. I’m Madea the Malevolent, Empress of Europe, and the sad-faced gentleman at my side is my fiance, the recently widowed Billy Windsor-Montbatten. We’re registered at Harrod’s if you want to send us an engagement present, which, incidentally, you really do. Trust me on that.

Now to business. I know what you’re thinking. “Holy moly, it’s that crazy bitch who nuked Moscow, and now she’s coming after us!” Well, you’re wrong; I murdered the Muscovites a tachyon pulse, not a nuke. Anyway, I’m done war-mongering for the moment, unless you or the Chinese annoy me. I only want three things from you folks: wedding presents, official acknowledgement of my overlordship, and some tribute. Specifically people. Recent events have left Great Britain somewhat underpopulated. Therefore the United States shall send me 144 living, healthy, intelligent, and handsome children, all between the ages of 8 and 12, once a year, each year, till I tell you I have enough. They’d best be from all races, classes, & religions.

First hostage shipment is due two weeks from yesterday. I don’t care how you pick 'em; just get it done. Or, if you like, I can disintegrate DC and your military bases, then send over some ctborgs to your cities to grab the kids. You have until noon tomorrow to decide.*

How do you think our government will react to this ultimatum? How do you WANT us to react?

2

Considering you want healthy, intelligent and handsome children, I think the South™ will go on pretty much as usual. I kid, I kid. :smiley:

I expect there would be a lot of sabre-rattling and speechifying about how the US is not going to stand for such a outrage. And a blacked out C5 loaded with the required “resources” will quietly lift off and make the delivery. There will be a surprising and unfathomable up-tick in the number of runaway and missing children. Our best minds will struggle valiantly to solve the problem.

After a couple of years it will seem normal and people will have convinced themselves this is all right and proper and this is the way it has always been.

ETA: I can’t see any other way we could react, certain destruction kind of limits the options of a reasonable person.

3

The Republicans will blame Obama. The Democrats will try to negotiate. I assume we get destroyed. I’d offer up my kids, but they’re way past the required age.

And there’s a mailing list now. Cool.

4

Seriously? Because while rationally I’d say, “We must capitulate in the short term while we seek a way to use Medea’s lust for fine china against her,” there’s no way I’d be willingly handing MY kids over. It would have to be YOUR kids.

(That’s a general your, not a specific one, by the way. I have nothing against TP’s spawn.)

5

The Children of Vothan will see a resurgence and Tylara will get her revenge.

6

How many times must I tell you not to mention Jerry Pournelle in my presence? Do you WANT me to atomic wedgie you again?

7

I was assuming Medea or the government would take over their college loan payments.

8

Hunger Games!

Shouldn’t it be “Overladyship”?

9

Those in power will gladly hand over others children to remain in power and keep their own children.

10

She has a wave motion gun. I’d use her preferred term until acquiring one of my own.

I haven’t read the Hunger Games, nor seen the movie. I don’t watch movies with Jennifer what’s-her-name in them or read books from which they are adapted, even if those adaptations have not yet been made.

G0sp3l, I will answer your slander of my homeland at the appropriate time, and as always I will be making my salient points by hatchet.

11

Well, kids are a renewable resource, and many people find that making them is funner than having them. So there is that.

Our public schools could also use this situation to their advantage. Misbehave too many times? Into the tribute pool. Cannot keep your grades up? Into the tribute pool. Skipped gym again? Into the pool.

12

I was thinking of Children of Earth, the third series of Torchwood.

13

I’d like it if the government told Medea to get fucked. That’s what I’d say if anyone came to grab my kids. Tell her to burn this whole motherfucker down.

And if we do capitulate I hope she gets, like, 6 different bread machines with no gift receipt.

14

We don’t need to take anyone’s kids away from them. Do we not have enough kids in orphanages? It’s not like she’s going to eat them, it sounds like she just wants to help repopulate her empire.

15

There’s no clear picture of what happens to the kids. They may be better off in Great Britain which Medea now looks kindly on, while here in the US they are in constant danger of extinction. But we don’t have any real bargaining chips here. Medea might just kill all of us at any time when she finds out I re-gifted her.

16

144 kids out of a population of 300 million? how does she want them wrapped?

17

Surely Angelina Jolie has a couple extras kicking around she could donate.

18

We’ll steal them from Mexico and Canada, obviously.

Noone ever listens to 8-12 year old kids anyway. They’re obviously traumatized.

19

144 a year until she says otherwise. (And of course she’s probably requiring 432 or so from India, and 576 from China, and so on.) But I’d not be surprised for the terms to change at her whim.

“That wasn’t the agreement!”

“I have altered the agreement, Calrissian. Pray I do not alter it further.”

20

Skald, while I usually enjoy your scenarios, you seemed to have forgotten the Minotaur and the labyrinth part of this saga.
Perhaps you meant to add it in next season, but still…