The plot-your-own insurrection game.

In My Humble Opinion
1

As we all know, I’ve been plotting the overthrow of all legitimate terrestrial governments and my installation as god-king for some time now. Let’s say that I’ve succeeded partially–i.e., I’ve conquered one country–the United States if you’re an American, or whatever country you happen to live in. My legions of genetically-engineered flame-breathing venom-spewing flesh-eating winged howler monkeys are flying about, enforcing my will; I’ve taken the White House/Buckingham Palace/insert-your-country’s-equivalent as my personal residence and changed the flag, national anthem, etc. to reflect the new rule of the Rhymer dynasty.

Now, I’m a pragmatic god-king; I haven’t destroyed the country’s infrastructure, because, after all, I want you and your fellow slaves/subjects to continue producing economically. I’ve publically disavowed any intent to conquer any more territory, and enough time has passed–ten years, say–that the other great powers have said, “Screw it. Freeing America/England/insert-your-country’s-name-here isn’t worth the effort. Let’s just recognize that Skald as the rightful ruler and go partake of his harems.”

But, however pragmatic I seem, I’m an evil god-king. Taxes are high; dissent is crushed; virgins are despoiled; the SMDB is outlawed. The heads of my enemies adorn pikes in front of the royal palace. You get the picture. Last but not least, I’ve placed a dead-man switch in my brain, so that when I die, a nuclear warhead will be detonated in the center of the capital city. Said deadman switch will be activated whether my death is natural or not–so, since my death is obviously inevitable, it’s only a matter of time before Washington/London/insert-your-nation’s-capital-here gets obliterated. The existence of the deadman switch is not common knowledge, but somehow you learn of it.

Plot my overthrow.

2

I forgot to specify that my secret police reasonably effective, but has no technical capacities than, say, the current FBI, CIA, and NSA. Obviously I have no constitutional restraints on their actions, however. Also, you have no access to magic or super-tech; no fair saying “Well, first I open an interdimensional gateway & summon the X-Men.”

3

Yeah, right. Do you think I’m stupid?

I tell you my intricately detailed plan now. You can bypass it later and I’m living in the United Kindom of Skaldland and Northern Rhymia for the rest of my life. No thanks!

(Got nothing)

4

Well, it’s gonna suck for the folks in DC, but that’s the breaks. I’ll be taking you out by sniper fire. You’ll never see it coming, and I’ll be acting alone, so your secret police won’t have any co-conspirators to capture. Obviously, I only get one attempt, and I likely won’t survive…but you won’t either.

As a bonus, I’ll likely earn my ticket to Valhalla…

5

:confused:

How is that better than waiting for me to die of natural causes?

For murdering me AND everybody in DC?

6

Better than waiting for you to die by natural causes because it may provide the spark that sets off a general revolt. Or maybe not, but I’ve done my part.

I get into Valhalla for dying in glorious combat with your security forces. My position will be defensible, but they’ll get me eventually…after I send a few to join you in hell.

The folks in DC…well, them’s the breaks. I was never a Redskins fan anyway.

7

I would loosely model my rebellion on The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.
I would try to encourage many rabble rebel groups to camouflage the well organized quiet build-up to the ultimate goal of capturing you and taking back our government. While I was doing this I would also be plotting how to get back all of our slowly eroding civil liberties.
I would work hardest on infiltrating your bureaucracy and computer systems. Eventually you will slip, we will knock you out and for lock you up for the rest of your life. You will be kept sedated until we sweep the city for your bombs. Then a you will be given a chance to give over your secrets on creating and controlling genetically-engineered flame-breathing venom-spewing flesh-eating winged howler monkeys.
In the meantime, for a short time the country will experience a Renaissance of freedom and I will ensure the UHS gets put into place and massive environmental clean-up programs.
Oh and I would reestablish the SDMB with some really good servers and bandwidth. :wink:

Jim

8

How do you figure? My death sets off the nuclear bomb, so if you simply kill me while acting alone, the population gets no more warning than if you waited for me to die naturally.

Shouldn’t the first step be to recruit my personal physican to your side, with the understanding that he or she must keep me healthy until you savvy a way to deal with the bomb?

9

Well, the bomb in DC will take out a lot of your command structure, and it will be up to the people to rise up and live/die as men…or be slaughtered like sheep in the purges that would follow if your sucessor is allowed to seize power.

Saving DC is great for a squeaky-clean babyface, but it’s also complicated and risky. I’m more of an anti-hero type. Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. In your scenario, as I see it, you’ve got to go. If I can accomplish that, then the people have their chance, and that’s all I can give them…

10

You banned the SMDB!!! You bastard!! People of Washington be damned, I’m taking you out. You can take our lives, but you will never take our… Single…Malt… umm… decibels?

I’d probably try to preserve your head, Futurama-style, but remove any chance of you joining with a cyborg body.

11

Assuming I know your deadman’s switch secret, it’s fair to say that I also know some other personal information about you; something obvious to anyone who met you in person but not otherwise - a speech impediment, for example. I spread a rumour throughout the populace releasing this information, with the addition that the rumour originated with someone “close to the God-King”. I wait for a month or so. During this time, if all goes to plan the rumour will spread to your human security forces (genetically engineered monkeys being poor bodyguards) who, when they meet you, realise that the rumour is true. In turn this should get back to you, hopefully making you question your family members/advisors/SO.

I then spread rumours throughout the population that your closest family member/advisor/SO has the deadman’s switch, and that you yourself are entirely invincible to any form of weaponry - bullets just go straight through you. In addition, I send a message to your family members/advisors/SO telling them that you have the deadmans’s switch. Thanks to (hopefully) your already odd behaviour towards them, thanks to the first rumour, these close people will in turn become suspicious of you (after all, they don’t want to be blown up, either). And because the first rumour was believed by your security forces, the second (that you are invincible) is also likely to be believed by them (I assume your cult of personality is up and running, O God-King? ;)).

After another week, I send a message to you again, this time threatening to assassinate the aforementioned close person. After a couple of hours, I then spread the word - through immediate communications, such as any public access televisions or computers, and via message-dropping from aircraft (assuming I have access to any) that you plan to destroy the city that very day. And, here comes the fun part - I then blow up in sequence any and all buildings I have access to, whether they contain the populace or not.

Basically, what it would hopefully come down to is this; you suspicious of your close people, and they of you. A security force that is more concerned with protecting your closest person than you, and one that believes you are impervious to weaponry anyway. A populace that is (by now) running amok, convinced you’re about to kill them all, and so with nothing to lose. And whatever armed resistance I have mustered sitting in the non-rigged buildings waiting for any sign of you or a vehicle carrying you. Yay, chaos.

If I were in your shoes at this point, I’d retreat to my second largest city. This requires traveling. Through the aforementioned chaos (whether by air or land; i’ve boobytrapped the Thames, so you won’t be getting out by sea). And, through all that chaos, with the resistance taking shots at you, and your (second string) security forces firing back, it’d be quite easy for you to be hit, and it to be ignored by your forces (after all, you can’t be hurt by bullets). They might even try to shoot the resistance by shooting “through” you. And hey, if not, you’ve still got advisors who now not only don’t trust you, but don’t believe you capable of keeping order, and that you’re safe to eliminate. At a high cost, sure, but worth it if it works.
Yes, i’m bored. How could you tell? :stuck_out_tongue:

12

I am going to change the world with love! You will fall hopelessly in love with my ample charms of seduction and sexual prowess. As you lie sated on the floor muttering “anything for you” I’ll chop off various parts of your anatomy, then hook what’s left up to a life support system, we’ll keep you “alive” forever and I will now rule the world mmmmmwwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhhh

13

Let’s see now:

-Killing a single soldier (or g.e.f.b.v.s.f.e.w.h.m.) deprives the dictator of a trivial amount of power. Given the efficiency and ruthlessness of the regime, it represents a net loss for any resistance movement.

-Killing the dictator is extremely difficult due to how well a single important person can be guarded. To even plan to entails extreme risk. And unless the entire regime is a personality cult that falls apart upon the death of it’s leader, a new leader will arise from the ranks of the apparatchiks. (As DeGaul said, “the cemetaries are full of indispensable men”) Similarly, the top hundred or so generals, cabinet secretaries and bureau directors can be almost as well protected as the dictator.

-So if I were the leader of a resistance group, I would target for assassination the upper-middle ranks of the bureaucracy. A large enough group (~1000+) that they couldn’t all have continual security details, but important enough that the steady attrition of their ranks would measurably hamper the regime’s ability to govern. You might not think the Assistant Deputy Director of the Department of Transportation was that crucial, but if he’s had to be replaced three times in the last year, the lack of continuity cripples the department. Especially if after a while it becomes harder and harder to fill positions, and the risk and danger of supporting the regime is driven home to the personel who actually get the work done.

Of course needless to say any random opportunities to target the bigwigs will be appreciated. But my resistance movement’s motto will be “Hide when you can; run when you must; fight only when it will gain you some immediate tangible benefit”. None of these defiant gestures that accomplish mainly getting my fighters killed.

14

Do you travel outside of DC? If so, I’ll strike there. If not, then DC suffers. Suicide attack, no co-conspirators. Very, very hard to defend against, especially since I won’t be concerned in the least with collateral damage or civilian casualties. Oak and I are on the same page on this one. I can whomp up enough nasty stuff in a high school chem lab to take out an army. All I have to do is get it close enough to you. Failing that, see Debt Of Honor.

Now, without a dead-man switch, armed insurrection becomes possible and plannable.

15

Ya like milkshakes?

16

Revenant, if I ever have to lead an insurrection against an sociopathic god-king, I want you on my team.

17

Too easy. First, I either buy off your bodyguards or make sure my trusted revolutionaries are installed in their place.

Then, when I give the word, my organization kidnaps you. We take you to a secret medical facility where I have assembled a team of surgeons who are unhappy with your crappy national health plan. The surgeons put you on life support while they remove the deadman switch or simply remove your entire brain and put it on life support.

Finally, I announce a national scavenger hunt with a $100 milllllllllllllion prize for whoever finds the nuclear device. We deactivate and let freedom ring!

18

I would seduce you in hopes of getting you to tell me where the bomb is in DC, have it deactivated, and then blow you the hell up. If I can’t do that, I make sure that everyone I know and love moves to Seattle and just hope that someone else was better able to step in and end your fiendish plan.

19

The switch is either always sending a signal which when stopped detonates the bomb, or when you die then sends a signal. If the first, set up a scanner, find the signal, record/duplicate it, then broadcast it. Then you can be killed with impunity. If the second, render you unconcious and put you in a shielded room that the signal can’t penetrate and then you can be killed. Deadman switches really aren’t that much of a deterrent.

Or, if I don’t care that the capital city goes boom, get a bomb and nuke it myself and tell everyone your switch malfunctioned and sent/stopped the signal and your bomb detonated.

20

The U.S. is a very large country and there’s nothing magical about D.C. being the nation’s capital. Everyone who’s able sneaks out in the middle of the night and takes part in erecting the Great Wall of Washington. You can go ahead and detonate anything you want to; we’ll just erect a new seat of government in say, Oklahoma. How ya like dem apples?