OP is an example of what I’ve called out as paternalistic tone policing. I’m not a fan, which is why I started this thread:
That one wasn’t specifically about racism, but the mod trend of “I don’t like your tone, mister” seems like a big departure from years past, and not for the better. Seems like OP has spotted another one.
What I would want to see in situations like this is the old no-fault “everyone dial it back”, and "you in particular are close to crossing the line, followed by a direct PM assessing “this topic seems to send you over the line pretty easily. Others have noticed, we’ve noticed, you need to reel it in.”
It’s pretty gross to say “hey buddy, you’re getting too angry, don’t be angry.” I wouldn’t say that to anyone at all, and I doubly would not say that to POC.