English Theme Pubs in Norway... A cunning plan?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have quite a few friends from Norway and have been pondering over the idea of opening an English theme pub in one of the large cities ie Oslo, Tronhiem, ect. Sorry about the spelling.

I am on my final year of a business degree and have had experience of managing a pub (nasty local pub so pleasant theme pub will be peice of cake) so that aspect of the idea is feasable. But I am wondering how the idea would be taken on in Norway I realise the drinking culture is very different (More taxes ect) and that it is mainly licenced cafes where people drink in the daytime. I may be wrong on that last count but that is how I understood it.

I don’t know if there are already theme pubs in the cities, there are bound to be Irish ones (Suprised Niel Armstrong didn’t find a ‘Dirty Nellies’ on the moon :smiley: )

My friends frm Norway seem to think its a rather good idea, but they have been sucked into the English drinking and pub culture, they now play for my pub pool team (It makes for some fun games in the nastier pubs round here:eek: ) So I think they are clouded and somewhat biased…

Just wondering what people think of this cunning plan:rolleyes:

2

Personally i’d be very happy if you could open a few decent english theme pubs here in england - there are very few good traditional pubs round my area anymore. :frowning:

3

Which part of London are you in? There are three truly excellent pubs around my area.

4

erm in Bergen where I currently live there is a pub actually called funnily enough The English Pub managed by an Australian with Norwegian, Australian and English barstaff. They also sponsor the local rugby club. Nice friendly place, imported beer - newcy brown, kilkenny, good guiness I am told plus the local beers. Does not have a spirits license as far as I am aware. There is a huge ex-pat community in Norway generally through the oil industry so any friendly sports pub does well although licensing etc is complicated and difficult

ems

5

It’s authentic then. Does it have a drunken scotsman that’s been drinking all day, a smelly dog that scrounges crisps and a bunch of sales reps around the fruit machine??

6

I’ve been to the “Andy Capp” bar in Esbjerg (Denmark) - it’s next door to the “John Wayne Saloon” (with saddles instead of barstools). I guess there must be room for something in a bigger Norwegian city.

that’s two Irish beers to one English:confused:

7

I reckon that warm beer could be a big seller in Norway.

8

That must be from a wealthy part of the country then, round here you’d need to factor in…

Government artists in the UB compulsory shell suit, this attraction is usually seen on Thursday dinnertimes once a fortnight(previously unemployed UK dopers will understand this)

Table supported under one leg by old beermats.

Empty ashtrays surrounded by rubbish.

Blurry SKY tv big screen, plus regulation CD juke box that mysteriously only comes to life when everyone is trying to see the footy.

Pool table complete with pimpled white ball and several cues all with differant defects.

Bunch of schoolkids pretending to be old enough and drinking bottles, whilst everyone around knows they’re not, and don’t really care.

Horrible warmed up pastry coloured food in an elderly, unhygienic heated display case.

Dart board with loads of holes no-where near it, including a couple in the light shade.

Some dodgy looking wiring to a mysterious switch on the wall somewhere - no one knows what this is for but a little red neon illuminates when said switch is operated.

A coin operated phone, of '70’s vintage in the ‘hyper modern look’, with a load of taxi business card round it, one or two for ‘personal services’ and one for a cat that went missing three years ago, the whole situated right next to one of the jukebox loudspeakers.

PVC tile flooring near the doorway.

Can you add anything else?

9

I thought that all English pubs had to have Australians working behind the bar as some sort of labour agreement :wink:

And as for the beer selection you have to remember that this is a Norwegian idea of what is traditional in the UK and at 56 NOK a pint (about a fiver ish) for teh imported stuff it might get a bit expensive. Plus the local brew gives you a killer headache.

ems

10

Are we talking London pubs or English pubs? If it’s the former all they need to keep them happy is “Any-One-Not-From-London” behind the bar. I did 2 happy years in London pubs (and I even coped with the “where in Aus are you from” question") English pubs rock! In many other countries pub means place to drink. In England it means “the place I see my mates everyday”. The atmosphere is soooooooooo good. In the little London pub I worked in over 10 years ago, I got 750 pound as a going away present (in tips…not an english thing), and to this day I still get phone calls from them and I relish them!

Here in NZ we seem to have the Irish pub phenomena. I’m patiently waiting for a “Rovers Return” down the road.

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A woman of a certain age drinking some inconceivable drink like dubonnet whilst flirting shamelessly with the builders…

A bunch of builders who have “finished early” (same time every day) and are getting into some serious drinking and homophobia

A bunch of chancers who never work yet have plenty of cash

old men complaining of the gentrification/decline of the pub.

A bunch of students in stupid hats speaking in loud voices about stuff that they have no idea about.

And as its christmas…

A bunch of people who only drink once a year getting dandoed on tart fuel and bottled lager and getting in the way of the proper people (one of the girls will be crying, one of the blokes will be beligerent).

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Prattts shouting into mobile phones.

Yappy teenagers.

Scary people playing darts.

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Most fights happen in and around pubs.

Breweries put the following things in pubs:

Pool cues, pool balls, glass ashtrays and very accurate pointed missiles.

14

No bouncers on the door (unless for a private party e.g. at Christmas)

Seedly looking in his 50s/60s (although he has probably looked that age all his life) who last updated his wardrobe in the 70s - fake suede coat, flairs, brightly coloured shirt, greased (or greasy) hair, who sits alone alternative falling asleep into his beer or hacking up phlegm.

Blokes with dogs. Which with fight each other (dogs first then dogs).

Rough bird with amateur tatoos.

Sticky carpet.

Menu consists of something and chips.

Husband and wife Manager/owner team, who row a lot. One of whom with drink rather too much of the profits.

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Headlines cut out of tabloids that coincide with the name of a regular

Pictures of football teams from long ago

Cheap “silver” trophies behind the bar that no one can remember what they are for.

Bar towels for drinks that no longer exist eg double diamond

very very old man nursing a pint for four hours

“Humourous” postcards

Irish albums on the juke box

Telly on in the corner showing east enders at all times of the day.

“house doubles” of spirit brands that are never seen on retail sale.

A man too drunk to speak who engages you in conversation.

A quiz machine with a couple of people arguing by it about Aston Villa or Clint Eastwood films.

A pikey family all of whom smoke.

16

A friend of mine was once interviewed on a local radio station about “ethnic” pubs. His respons was “If a Turkish bar owner dresses his staff in kilts and hangs a Scottish flag on the wall it doesn’t make it Scottish. It’s Turkish. My bar is the only one in Stockholm owned and run by a Scotsman, which means it’s the only Scottish one around”.

17

Every single country in the world has the Irish pub phenomena. I must have been to Irish bars in about 25 different countries including Hong Kong, South Korea, Dominican Republic, Egypt and Germany.

I think it is kind of a pre-requisite if you are considering founding your own country. OK, we need a government, emergency services, roads and an Irish bar. Welcome to sirtonyhland :smiley:

18

Apparently even Ireland has the Irish pub phenomenon, in that traditional pubs are being done up in an Oirish manner to appeal to tourists.

19

Don’t forget:

A sign behind the bar only funny to the “locals” e.g:

"Wally is Banned From the Gin!!!"

A “Pub Garden” (at least 70% of the benches must be rotten/broken)

A dado rail.
Zorro I work in Holborn (Central London, Trendy Bars) and live in Teddington/Twickenham (Greater London, Trendy Bars and “Rugby Taverns”)

My list of good pubs currently consists of:

Waldegrave Arms - Teddington. Very nice pub with friendly regular bar staff. Good atmosphere and friendly locals. Good selection of lagers and ales. Jukebox, Street-fighter Two Machine, Sky TV. Next to my old university but always empty on a friday and saturday as they are all out at the trendy bars.

Fulwell Arms - Fulwell. Nice Landlord and bar staff, Great Food, two pool tables, pin ball machine, Sky TV. Shows irish sports though (so gets packed with the local irish community on those days). A very good “Sunday” pub.

The Ivy - Holborn. good selection of drinks (including Hoegaarden on tap) spacious and (Relatively) empty of idiots on friday nights.

The White Horse - Covent Garden (right next to station). Nice Lunch Pub - quite small but good food upstairs and friendly staff.

The list also used to include the Duke of Wellington and Lord Palmerston in Hounslow - but i haven’t been to either in over a year, so don’t know what they are like anymore.

20

I’ve thought of a good name for your future pub:

The Cunning Plan