Enola Straight and Overly Presumptuous Valets

Enola Straight:

Please let me (and other interested parties) where you work so that my car is not subject to various unwanted intrusions, excursions, and violations. Either that, or do not [post=8407209]open the hood[/post], do not [post=430073]attempt to bypass the locking and ignition system[/post], do not mangle, modify, bypass, wire, rig, inspect, test, probe, interrogate, and otherwise tamper with the personal vehicles left in your care by customers of the garage or establishment you valet for.

Much appreciated,

One Driver Who Is Increasingly Conviced That Leaving A Car In The Care Of A Valet Is More Risky Than Parking It On Fourth And Alameda With The Keys In The Ignition

Oh, and shit, damn, hell, fuck, tits, et cetera.


That link goes no where.

Yeah, I got to wondering (but not to posting, before the thread was locked) what business a valet has messing with a vehicle to which he does not have the keys—or, conversely, why he doesn’t have the keys to a vehicle that he is supposed to be in charge of.

Fixed 2nd link.

Danke schoen.


He’s about one anonymous e-mail away from getting fired: how stupid do you have to be to announce on a public message board not only where you work but how you fuck with customers’ cars there?

My interpretation of the OP is that people probably pull up under the porte cochere, leap out, holler, “Hey! Park my car!” at the valet–and then rush into the building while automatically dropping their car keys into their pocket/purse. By the time the valet has a chance to go, “Er…Yo!”, they’re gone.

I’d be upset to find that, if I unwittingly did that, the valet broke something in my car in order to move it. I’d wanna know why the Management of the “let us park your car for you” service didn’t take into account the fact that, inevitably, some people are gonna do this, and make arrangements (GoJack, tow truck), to deal with it ahead of time.

A Gojack car dolly only costs $207 here. Management is too cheap to pop for one, just because “we won’t use it every day”? By the same logic, then, they oughtn’t to keep fire extinguishers around.

He said that he runs into other vehicles in the way when he goes to retrieve another vehicle, meaning that they’ve parked in the intended car and he doesn’t want to go back to get the other keys.

That thread made me want to never, never use valet parking again.

Er, well, that wasn’t how I interpreted…

Unless they’re parking cars in the porte cochere, lining them up along the sidewalk or something.


Better go back and read that again

In case you are unfamiliar with the term porte cochere here is the definition from dictionary.com
porte-co·chere Pronunciation[pawrt-koh-shair, -kuh-, pohrt-]

  1. a covered carriage entrance leading into a courtyard.

In other words, the drivers are leaving their cars sans keys in the covered drive in front of the hotel / casino whatever. This could be a real problem if two or three people did it all at once. I don’t know how wide Enola’s porte cochere is, but I bet three cars parked abreast would really fuck things up.

In which case the correct response should be having the cars towed away and charging the offending drivers $500 for the inconvienence.

Or move them yourself and charge each one $50. After 16 cars it is profit.

And severely piss off your own customer for making what they will say, and may even be, an innocent mistake.

Stupidity should be painful.

Yeah, I missed that meaning. Personally, I think a tow truck would be more effective, but hey…

A little nit picky, but buying one isn’t going to do any good. You need one for each wheel that is locked. You’d need a minimum of two for a front wheel drive vehicle (assuming the parking brake is off). And you’d need four for everything else.

Still, if an establishment can afford valet parking, I’m thinking $828 is a small price to keep the front entrance clear.

Illegal too.

Exactly. It could be an advertising point: “Our hotel only caters to people smarter than rocks. This guy left his car blocking our drive, and ran off without giving us the keys to move it. He is dumber than a rock. Watch us crush his car into a cube, live on in-house television!”

He works at a casino, guys. Stupidity is getting punished plenty already, no need to screw them for the tow-job. :stuck_out_tongue:

He works at a casino that can’t afford to keep a tow truck around, let alone a set of four Gojacks at $828? Pardon me while I express my amazement…