Hippie: GIVE THIS PIECE A CHANCE, YOU BIG BRASS BASTARD!
[attacks Admiral Whatshisface with a phaser-cutting-phaser]
Admiral: [dying] AAAAUGGHHHH!
Snotty Vulcan Dude: The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that phaser-cutting phasers are impossible.
Hippie: THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT!!!
Quantum dating of the probe showed that it came from the future.
The point of the mission is to destroy the bad guys before they attack from the future.
Take one part Star Trek: Voyager, mix with two parts Babylon 5: Crusade, and in a liberal dose on continuity destruction. Pander well. Half bake at 350 degrees for 4 months.
Welcome to Season 3.
:rolleyes:
I must have missed somthing, I thought they were Quantum dating the remains of the Borg sphere.
No, I think they’ve forgotten about the Borg by now, Jeff. You’re thinking in continuity terms, there. Stop it!
They were dating the probe debris, but I don’t understand why only some of it was from the future.
One of the few things that made sense in this episode. Different pieces were made at different times. The tires on my car were manufactured at a different time than the engine.
Ah, thanks, carni. I somehow thought that they were talking about manufacture dates that were hundreds of years apart (which seems excessive), but I was probably misunderstanding the dialogue.
Or maybe the aliens just warehouse some probe parts for a really, really long time.
My cousin has Geo. Washington’s hatchet.
It’s had seven new handles and three new heads, but it’s Geo. Washington’s hatchet.
I thought it was a few years.
Maybe the difficult parts, like the CD player are made in the far future when electronics cost less and shipped back in time when labor costs are lower for assembly.
But … but … in order for a phaser-cutting phaser to have any effect on the Admiral, the Admiral would have to be a phaser!
And we know that Phase Pistols and Phase Cannons weren’t introduced until season 1 of Enterprise. Given how old the Admiral looks, the only possible way for him to actually be a phaser is if he’s from the future and travelled back in time!
Aha! He was screwing up the readings on those Quantum-Dating devices that Captain Archer was using! It all makes sense now.
I just hope these ENT soldiers don’t turn out to be a bunch of Starship Troopers.
Does anyone play any of the Star Trek single person shooters? I wonder what the military equipment is like and if it will influence the show.
Look out! Doogie Houser has joined the Enterprise crew!
Let’s hope the next generation of Klingons doesn’t have big vaginas on their heads.
Oh, Lord, do they have three heads now?
Smooth, turtle and…labial?
At some point they decided to wear the cool looking turtle heads and keep the smooth ones in a jar. (Well, they do have to take them out and polish them once a month.) Lest it be known that such fearsome warriors were fashion hounds, they keep it a secret.
Why is that a bad thing?
Come here, Grilka…
It’d be the perfect holster for your penis pistol.
I wonder if Lorena Bobbit used a penis cutting phaser?
Ways the next season could be cooler:
They get to the Xindi 10 episodes in, but have to deal with Suliban interlopers and Tholian terrorists.
The first Xindi they met are nice people and never heard of the temporal cold war or earth.
They then run into a different race claiming to be the Xindi, who look completely different from the first Xindi and different from the dead Xindi, who doesn’t look like the first Xindi either.
The dead guy is determined to be a completely different species, who the Suliban reveal will also be destroyed by Earth, but in the 27th century, not the 25th.
They find the weapon, but being made by Suliban and rogue Xindi 2, who may or may not be working for Future Guy.
Archer uses the force to destroy the weapon by trusting his feelings instead of using the targeting computer. wedge makes it out of the trench alive.
Trip is blinded by anger and tries to kill some Xindi, who hide in a residential area, but Trip attacks anyway, killing Xindi kids, and inadvertantly starting the hatred that leads up to Earth destroying them in the 25th century.
the Xindi are really a codename for Breen.
The commandos are lead by a hot ninja chick
the commandos try to kill all of the Xindi/Breen, but Archer must stop them, and we see a cool ninja fight.
The season finally is the hot ninja chick launching a bomb at the xindi/Breen homeworld, but we don’t know if it was deactivated by Trip or not, since he is still mad.
Hoshi wears no clothes
Porthos saves the ship when the hot ninja chick slips on his doggy doo and Archer captures her.
The borg not only don’t make an appearance, but never show up again for the rest of the series
Nitpick:
According to Future Guy, Earth destroys the Xindi 400+ years in the future. This would be the 26th century, not the 25th.
Quantum beats up the commander of the Xindi setting their ham radio on fire which then causes their lead ship to get blowd up real good. This ends the aliens hold over their 3 person army of the living dead.
And Earth is safe once again. But for how long?