I was hoping the Senior Dopers out there might have wisdom to share about what keeps them happy. Sure, in one’s youth, it is easy to find much to keep your “happiness factor” in the black. But, with age, you are not so naive.
It seems age chips away at happiness. Life can leave one quite bitter. How does one combat this? And, if you feel this is the wrong outlook…maybe you can share your secrets to remaining inspired and chipper?
I think Janice Ian said it best in an oldie; something about how “when [life’s] payment due exceeds accounts received”, or words along those lines. Her words can apply to so many facets of life. Surely, there must be something more…? :BIG SIGH:
What do the simple folk do to help them…turn that frown upside down?
I am only 25 but I kind of look forward to getting old because then I will have got a big part of the great chore that is life out of the way. I see a lot of happiness in old people. I imagine that they are entertained by their extensive store of memory. And I envy their ability to nod off almost anywhere.
(I know there are many exceptions, but it seems like old people are generally more restful).
It also seems like many old people find little things in life more amusing, It’s almost as if they are laughing on the inside because of those poor young sods getting pissed off and miserable at everything while they have gone past all that and no longer get worked up about things that don’t change (bad govornment etc…)
I don’t know if you consider 30 to be senior , but the thought of marrying my girlfriend, having a few kids, getting a house, getting a car, and beating up a few people at my kid’s soccer games, makes me look forward to the future.
You know, simple little things that so many people already have.
well, you might say i qualify to answer. i’m staring at the half-way mark (if you like big round numbers), which is approaching with all due speed.
how do you stay happy? remember how to be a child. i still find it fascinating to stare at bugs as they go about the business of their lives. it’s nifty to lay on the grass and watch the leaves in the trees. or birds at the feeders. or watch the expression on my cat’s face when she’s getting brushed or a good chin-scratching.
the smaller the things that will make you happy, the more happiness you’ll run into.
I’m an optimist - always have been. Not that I always expect things to be sunshine and fluffy bunnies… Still, in the long run, I know that no matter what happens, I can deal with it.
With that in mind, I don’t sweat the small stuff and I always seem to find humor in most situations. Heck, at my dad’s funeral, we were cracking jokes, knowing full well if Dad had been a mourner himself, he’d have been joking with us.
I guess it’s a matter of attitude. There’s a story that explains the difference between an optimist and a pessimist - the pessimist sees a barn full of horse manure. The optimist knows there has to be a pony in there somewhere.
I’m always looking for that pony.
Oh, and for the record - I’m 50.
I’m only 33, but I’m looking forward to being old enough to not be held accountable for my actions. I’m going to wear the most colorful, hideous clothes I can find, scratch myself freely, and wallop young upstarts with my cane. I will either drive really slowly or really fast, depending on my mood. My grandchildren will flee in embarrassment at my approach. Whooo-yeah!
I don’t think so - I am probably happier now than I was 25 years ago.
What’s not to be happy about? [ul][li]God loves me []The Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan loves me (she’s funny that way) []My kids are turning out rather wonderfully (honor roll, track team, personable and charming, the both of them)[]I am making (by my standards) a shitload of money []Much of my job is fun as well []One nephew recently won his second Bronze Star in Afghanistan, another is starting lineman on his university football team []Etc.[/ul]OK, I am not officially a senior, but AARP sends me stuff in the mail. [/li]
I’vd had troubles - who hasn’t? But this idea you seem to have of a steady decline into a bitter and disappointed old age is not my experience at all.
Very often, you are about as happy as you decide to be. Not always - some people live in circumstances that would defeat anyone. But you don’t usually have to be miserable.
I have a decent job that I mostly like (even on days like yesterday!), in about six and a half years my house will be paid for, I have lots of good friends, and there’s always beer.
I’m happier doing things I enjoy at home. I like having cookouts, having friends over to hang out at the pool in summer, a good soak in the hot tub, sitting on my back porch watching the birds, just taking a day off work and hanging around in my underwear surfing the net and messing on the Dope. Lots of things to make me happy on this board. Oh, and I’ll be the big 5-0 in July.
I teach a class on death and dying, I cycle into teaching it every other year. An integral part of this class is the research paper. Students must spend 6 hours a week at a local senior center, interviewing, collecting data on a wide array of topics. One of them is a Happiness survey. Answers are diverse, and sometimes depressing, but the papers are all usually pretty good when I get them and the students awareness is usually heightened.
Last semester I had a friend of mine come to talk to our class. We’ll call him Harvey. The day he arrived to my class, I took a seat and his presentation began. This was the first class of the day, 8:30 a.m. [He is an elderly man, 85 yrs old living at an assisted living complex in the town next to the college]
As soon as he started telling his story a young woman raised her hand and asked him if he were the same man she saw walking on the road a mile or so from the college. And he said yes, he was. (he walked more then 8 miles that morning, and that put more than one smile on students faces) He said he loved to walk, and kept his ticket in the good graces of his doctor. He went on to say how it was his doctor of 25 years ago who had told him that…more years than most of those students were old…
He mentioned certain aspects of his life that made being happy difficult to do, yet happiness remained an attainable daily goal.
His wife had passed on and he mentions that as being the saddest day of his life, he even mentioned committing suicide. But he said that his wife would not have ever wanted him to be sad, and that she would only have wanted good things.
He also mentioned there were other things that made him happy here are a few:
Being close to his children and grand children.
Fishing
Being with others people…didn’t really matter who.
Laughing at nothing.
Walking in the woods.
Finding long lost friends
And the single most important thing to him for remaining happy, was to understand what it means to die.
Death is as natural a part of life, and understanding it is the easiest way to mot make yourself afraid of it.
He says that when you live your life honestly, that makes it much easier to walk down the road with no regrets when you are aging. Sure everyone has them…but aging is a part of life, and growing old tactfully, is part of the key to happiness.
Happiness can come from many places Jinx - I am an ombudsman part time who has seen a lot of depression in our aging society. If this is a factor for you…talking to someone may be a good idea
It’s fun watch people* Who Take Things Seriously * get all worked up over *Political Talk, War Talk, New Math, These Kids Today!, Bad Sports Teams, Today’s Music Sucks!, Taxes, Sex, Bouncy Hair, Rainforests/Global Warming, Wardrobe Malfunctions, Waistline Management, *and *The Rigors of Anal Lawn Maintenance *.
They don’t realize that it is all *Beyond Their Control *.
And that is what is so amusing and worth it to wake up and get out of bed on most days.
To make fun of them as their facial muscles start twitching as their daily stroke sets in.
Remember, kiddies,** if you cannot laugh when everything about you is in utter chaos, then you truly do not comprehend the seriousness of the situation. ** If yer fucked, laugh about it. If you are not fucked, then what is the problem and you might as well laugh. Feel free to quote me on that.
I’ll probably get hit by a bus (ha! and it will be the short bus at that.) or run over by a combine harvester for my smiteful ways, but damn, it’s better than stewing in self induced misery that is Beyond My Control.
Perspective. After you’ve experienced a lot of life’s ups, downs and sideways, you realize that a lot of things that really got to you were not really important at all.
By the time you’re 50 or so, you’ve probably experienced the death of someone close to you. Probably a serious illness or two yourself. After a while, you realize that some things, like a child’s smile, a hug from a friend, rainbows and diamonds in the dewy morning grass, are more important than whether or not you waited 10 more minutes at the bank.
You can also learn not to give free rent in your head to people who have hurt you.
What keeps a senior citizen happy. What a list I have! Doing volunteer work is really rewarding. Being a participant in my family (I’m officiating at my great niece’s wedding soon. Pursuing interests that I didn’t have time for when I was younger. Exercising.
I could go on and on, but I think deciding to appreciate life, and the realization that in actuality you keep yourself happy…it’s not about things or other people, but really is about attitude. Just like FCM said above.
Besides having to go see the doctor more than I used to I think being a senior is pretty nice. I’m 65 and my 90 year old dad is marrying a woman 1 year older than I am. So there is no reason for me to give up and feel sorry because of my age.
:BIG SIGH:
, but the thought of marrying my girlfriend, having a few kids, getting a house, getting a car, and beating up a few people at my kid’s soccer games, makes me look forward to the future.
