Ethical dilemma: If whatever's in my sink achieves sentience...

… how should I treat it?

I suggested removing the dishes and transporting them to the Redpath Museum, where they would be allowed to live in peace, and buying new dishes. (Hamish says he would have no interest in ever eating off a dish that had at any time passed the Turing test.)

However, if they proved hostile, I would have no qualms about defending myself with the soap.

Perhaps I should just do my dishes before this becomes an issue. Anyway, what would you do if you woke up to find something with its own form of government inhabiting your sponges?

Okay…booklover’s patented way to attack potentially living crud:

  1. Thoroughly coat dishes with a layer of dish soap (like half of a large bottle).

  2. Turn hot water on, swiveling faucet to ensure full coverage (I hope you didn’t stack your dishes too much—you’ll need to unstack them).

This should eliminate some of the nastiness (open the window if the smell’s bad).

Eventually, you’ll have to buckle down and actually wash them, but this should eliminate some of the grossness.

Of course, you could just ditch them and buy paper plates.

Nah, simply set yourself up as their eternal God-Emperor and relocate them to your basement to mine riches for you.

Ummm… soak them in hot water with bleach in it. That’ll kill the little bastards. Then drain sink, refill sink with hot water to rinse dishes, drain again, then wash.

I shall be doing the same type of thing this weekend. The stench is becoming too much.

  • s.e.

Well, by the time I discovered the civilization in my sink, they had just become aware of how to fashion crude tools from sticks and sharpened rocks. They seemed so peaceful, but the anthropologist in me knew that they would soon discover fire and then I would just have to kiss my security deposit goodbye. As interested as I was to investigate and document their development, for the sake of my security deposit I had to turn to the Napalm (read: Antibacterial Dawn. Hey it’s orange!).

Alas, sweet Matt, it is time for the mess to meet its maker.

Besides, are you really ready to be the deity to this tiny world?

Thank goodness I’m not the only one who has had this happen!

You just don’t know how much better I feel.

Those dishes of mine have been rotting in a cesspool of stagnant water for longer than I care to admit.

And then there’s the bags of rotting garbage at my front door.

I live in squallor. I must do something about it.

  • s.e.

Trust the Board Genie, scott. The Board Genie will not fail you.

No, Scott, you live in Montreal, in Quebec. Squallor is in British Columbia, right? :wink:

No, that’s Esquimalt.

No, Matt, that’s the ale-like beverage that has addicted so many Inuit! :slight_smile:

Umm… can you say Carling Ultra 8% “beer”? :eek: hic

There are empty bottles of it littered all through Cabot Square.

This thread has become totally O/T. :cool:

  • s.e.

We had to kill a few lifeforms in the sink today. One of my dipshit housemates cooked crab (crab!) and left half of it in the bottom of the sink, for about a week. Apparently he can’t read the “Clean your fucking dishes” sign we put up, and has no concept of how to throw things into the garbage can. If he drops something on the floor, he leaves it there. Anyways, the crab had reanimated into something really stinky, and so we had to kill it. But we move out of here in 10 days, so we’re down to doing the basics. If they want to live in squallor (and thats neither BC or Montreal, squallor is Hamilton, Ontario) thats up to them. We are not taking out the garbage this week, nor cleaning the counters, or the washroom, or anything like that. Let them deal with the mini civilizations!

Oh, don’t use bleach on your dishes, you’ll never want to use them again. Besides, I thought I heard that pure bleach can’t kill germs anyway?
Must be time to throw out the dishes and get some new ones

Umm… last I checked, bleach kills germs. And once you’ve rinsed them and washed them and rinsed them, the dishes etc. are fine. Besides, what’s in dishwashing detergent? Bleach.

Whenever I pour bleach into stagnant, fetid water in my sink, it’s instant stench-b-gone. :slight_smile:

  • s.e.

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. That’s the only way to be sure.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Ok a few things here…

You can’t get ‘pure bleach’ the stuff you buy is like 5-10% bleach (the rest of water).

Labs (like mine, which runs a BSL-3 and a BSL-2) use bleach to kill everything. Hospitals use it too. If you’ve ever spilled bleach on clothing you’ll notice that it can BURN THROUGH CLOTH! Just think of what that’ll do to the little fungi colony. As far as killing off unwanted micro organisms… Lysol is best… 10% house hold bleach [clorox 1:10 w/ h20] 75% Ethanol are all good, in descending order. Lysol is what you use to decontaminate people comming out of BSL-4 hotzones.

Also, if you want to make sure those suckers are totally dead. A formaldehyde bomb is the ticket. 4 hours to overnight will do the trick.

Btw a joke: What is the Microbiologists’ test for determining intellegence.

The organism can run away from the bleach wash.

Its only funny if you’re a lab monkey I think

May I take this opportunity to stalk you and say that your name (what a coincinence) always reminds me of “Clorox”, and also that it turns me on when you get all “lab speak” on us.

FWIW, I use bleach on my kitchen sponges- I run a little hot water in my sink, put in some CRorex, and soak 'em. Makes 'em fall apart quicker, but at least there aren’t colonies of microbes doing the YMCA all over them.

Oh- and Matt? Do your dishes, for the love of God! Or throw them away and buy paper plates!


Well, this pretty much ruined my mental picture of you, matt. I had this idea of a life of elegance and sophistication, with lots of sex thrown in, but I never pictured you as someone likely to find a thriving civilization in the kitchen sink.

If they do get as far as building tiny huts and primitive megaliths from chips of your stoneware, you could reenact the Old Testament for them. The sink strikes me as a damn fine locale for the minature version of Noah and the Ark. When you get bored, you can use the bleach to smite them.

I just committed genocide on my stewpot.

I took it into the bathroom, poured the * - substance - * down the toilet (incredibly, it was still liquid), and attacked the pot itself with a scouring pad, soap, and the blastforce of the bathtub faucet. I cleaned it out thoroughly, then put it back in the sink in preparation for cleaning it again.

Death to protozoa.