pbbth, you’re not completely wrong, but in my experience, your family has been especially terrible to you and your fiancé. A normal family will have some feedback into your wedding plans, but they won’t go nuts like yours seems to have done. I’m truly sorry they are acting like this.
The Weird One, assuming the weather is nice, mid-April in Boston sounds lovely. 
Mid April in Boston can be kind of a hotel/flight nightmare, though. Airfares go way up with school vacation week, and marathon runners take the hotel rooms. So be careful of that.
I’ve been searching for an answer and this thread seems to come close to helping. My sis-in-law (bro’s wife) LIVES for her kids (or maybe through them?) and their 23-yr-old daughter is getting married July 23, 2013. I was absolutely thrilled for her because they - she and her mother - were so excited and the guy’s a sweetheart. Unexpectedly I reunited with an old bf out of the blue and he asked me to marry him, I accepted. We figured out the best time for us to do this would be May 2013 due to his divorce going through in Jan 2013 and he would have to notify his family after that date plus my niece’s wedding in July, if we didn’t do it in May we would have to wait until Fall since Aug is so hot and we want to start trying for a baby asap (I’m 42, still going to see if I can ).
I was verbally assaulted by my sis-in-law the day she found out 
ambushed in my parents’ home, screamed at (her excuse for her loudness was “because I’m ITALIAN” which was the most ridiculous excuse I’ve ever heard for a woman over 50 throwing a temper tantrum worse than any 2-yr-old), cursed at, called spoiled (well, maybe I am a little, but that has nothing to do with this 
) told I was doing it on purpose because I wanted to steal her daughter’s spotlight (like I would CARE!? - we are planning a small ceremony with a luncheon for 50-60 people, no gifts, no DJ/band just string quartet, & only 2 people in common to both weddings would have to trave - my other bro and his daughter, both of whom are very happy for both of us), and if I “had any class” I wouldn’t even have gotten engaged until after her wedding?? - when I brought up wanting to start trying for a baby as a reason to not want to wait she said I was doing that on purpose too, to have a baby before my niece.
Thanks for listening, even if I don’t get any advice it felt good to vent. If anyone has any factual information (reference material from an etiquette book?) that would help me greatly in backing up my decision to keep the wedding for May.
Oh, and my parents at first said “why would there be a conflict, I’m sure there’s no problem” then after her monstrous display my mother asked me to reconsider and delay until next Fall, I said of course, but even now she said to have it whenever I want because there is no way this situation is going to be healed either way.
Then there’s the question of inviting them :dubious:…she said she’s not coming and in the past when she throws a fit the whole family (my bro & their kids) are forbidden any contact so I’m counting them all out but making invitations anyway and giving them to my bro to let him handle it - I don’t want her there but I would never forgive myself for not inviting them.
I know this thread is old but help is appreciated if anyone is out there…
As was said:
Scheduling your wedding two months away from your neice-in-law’s is not stealing a spotlight. Go right ahead.
Of course invite the sis-in-law (assuming you would anyway); if she doesn’t want to come, that’s her right.
Whoah. Forgot about this thread.
In case anyone wonders, it was an outdoor wedding in Florida and it was hot as balls, but otherwise wonderful.
Fact #1, your SIL is a lunatic
Fact #2, it is your wedding, YOU get to decide when it is
Fact #3, your SIL is a jackass
Fact #4, it is 2 months before your niece’s wedding
Fact #5, your SIL is an idiot
I do have more facts, but they are pretty SIL specific.
What Cheesesteak said. Some people just losing their fucking minds about weddings.
I almost deleted my extensive rant after I posted it and I’m so glad I didn’t! You guys getting back to me has relieved my fears - sometimes advice from people removed emotionally from a situation is best I swear, you guys would tell me straight without worries of hurting any feelings and I appreciate your straight-up support.
I’m definitely keeping it in May, hadn’t cemented the date because it depends on the facility, we’re flexible so even end-of-April, it just rains here (Phila) a lot in April. My fiancee has been supportive from the beginning to do it however and whenever I want and my dad & other brother think I’d be nuts to change it just to appease her.
Thank you!
To “Really Not All That Bright”: I was just at an outside wedding in Puerto Rico the end of June and it was “hot as balls” but so amazing. I’m sure it was lovely despite the heat.
I wish you and all of you who wrote before that you were getting or got married then all the best wishes in the world. Against all odds and negative attitudes about being married these days some of us have to keep the faith that it CAN work (this is my second and his third so hopefully we’ve got the bugs worked out haha!)
Ain’t it the truth!! People completely forget that they’re getting “married” - not “weddinged”.
You have it when you want - your SIL is an idiot!