I am so fucking tired of your wedding

The BBQ Pit
1

My friend is getting married a week from this Saturday. I’m in the wedding - I agreed to this, and I don’t begrudge her the wedding she wants at all.

But jesus fucking christ, do you have to keep changing dates for rehearsals and such this close to the wedding? I do have a four hour drive to get to where it is, and I’d planned it out fairly well.

Oh, and now that you’ve changed the rehearsal from Thursday night to Friday morning (with a “rehearsal lunch”), I’m not going to be able to see some of the people I wanted to see while I was there. Thanks, ya know? While the reason for the trip is your wedding, these are people who don’t know you and so won’t be at the wedding - and because they already have plans for Friday evening, there’s no other time I’m going to be able to see them.

I guess what really gets me is this:

COULD YOU PICK A FUCKING SCHEDULE AND STICK TO IT. I’ve seen clusterfucks that were better organized. Tell me when I need to be where and I’ll be there, on time and ready to go, but don’t change it a thousand times between now and then.

Now, I’m going to e-mail my friend and cancel my lunch with her. I’m also going to assume that I won’t even get to see her because of the plans you’ve made. Of course, I’m sure that these plans will change, oh, constantly.
Dear, I love ya, but this is driving me batty. This is why I’ll elope if I ever get married.

2

Honey, a Wedding Planner Wedding is a clusterfuck.

Elope. Yes.
:smiley:

3

Lsura, take heart. If you’re the one getting married, you won’t even know what a jerk you’re being, and if your friends have any manners they’ll vent on a message board instead of trying to make you see reality in the countdown to the wedding…

I should find my vent about my friend who got married last year. Ay carumba, brides! Of course, I wasn’t at all like that myself.

4

When I propose to my future wife, if she immediately starts planning a monster wedding, I’m dumping her and taking the ring back.

Small, short, to the point and tasteful is all I want, and could possibly put up with.

Oh, and there has to be a truly kick ass cake. Cakes rule.

5

My dad gave me the option of:

  1. Pay for your own really huge wedding and I’ll be happy to go to it.

  2. I will buy you two round trip plane tickets to anywhere in the world. Go get married.

I’m gonna take what’s behind door #2, and be thousands of miles away so no one who knows and loves me aside from my man will know what a fucktarded bitch I’m being about all the ‘wedding details.’

6

1.) I was a bridesmaid in a medeval late-October Southern Florida wedding. It was 95 degrees in the shade, and I was wearing three layers of clothing, excluding underwear. The last layer was a CANVAS wench vest. And the maid of honor ended up taking a powder after the bridal shower, so I ended up doing everything she should have been doing for the last two days. I kept trying to convince her how cool Vegas is, but no avail. I ended up drenched in sweat, with an anxiety stomach ache, and the night ended with me swigging sparkling wine (tempid, of course. 95 degrees…) from the bottle.

2.) I have ANOTHER friend who got married in Figi because that’s the land closest to the international dateline. So they got married at dawn on New Year’s Day 2000 in Figi. She wore a traditional Figian wedding dress, made entirely of bark. It was just her, her husband, and the entire Figian villiage, who ended up adopting them as honorory villiagers. How cool is THAT?

Lsura, good luck. Plan on getting drunk. And learn from her obnoxiousness how NOT to get married.

7

Oh my GOD, swiddles, that’s amazing!

(attempting to picture a bark wedding dress and failing miserably)

Small, outdoors, intensely meaningful handfasting for me and the boyf, thanks.

8

Unfortunately…I think it’s a dry wedding (though I’m still hoping they’ll change their minds). But I already plan on having at least a six pack of good beer back in the hotel room.
And cazzle

**

That’s why I’m venting here. She’s going to have her wedding the way she wants it and I’m going to smile through it all…even when the little things drive me nuts. :slight_smile:

9

Go to the rehearsal. Stand around for a while and go where people point. Skip the “rehearsal lunch” and see your friends. You’ll see all the people from the wedding party at the wedding and the reception. Tell the bride you have other commitments which can’t be broken on such short notice. If she gripes or complains about how you’re ruining her perfect day, explain how exactly you could ruin her perfect day (not showing up, giving her a black eye, picking your nose at the altar, etc.) and to quit whining. Then have lunch with your friends and don’t give the bride a second thought.

10

I’d be perfectly happy to elope to Vegas but TheLadyLion won’t hear of it. It’s the first time for both of us so she wants traditional. Size and budget is moderate I suppose and I won’t begrudge her a nice wedding. I’ve made it very clear that I lack the extra X chromisome to be programmed to get worked up over the details. [Homer Simpson]Aww honey, it’s not that I don’t understand but that I don’t care.[/HS] Plans are chugging ahead and when she asked if I wanted to go to cake tasting I told her that it would be a good opportunity for a Saturday lark with her girlfriends and as long as she didn’t pick rhubarb I’d be happy. Still the contingency “pan B” is on the table. I gas up the truck, cholrofom her then wake her when we’re in the drive thru chapel. “Honey, wake up. Elvis wants to know if you do.”

What?

11

Time for MY 2 cents now! :slight_smile: We are keeping it moderate, and we have compromised on # of people (I wanted 120, he wanted 5). It will be at our church, so price for space is minimal. I picked a color and length of dress for my bridesmaids, and told them “Find something you like in that color family and in your price range. If you’re happy with it, so am I.” The guys will be dressed in black vests, white dress shits and black dress pants (no pricey tuxedoes). And I am making all the decorations myself. Several family and friends are flying in from out of state, including my sister who is matron of honor. We are scheduling things to make it convenient for them to get to without a massive rush. We have kept all this in mind throughout all the planning. Our reason for this? Simple: this is our special day, but we are sharing it with many people we love, and they also have a life and have to plan. So once the times are set, they are in concrete, unless the church is swept away in a flood or the minister gets a flat tire on the way to the rehearsal.

All my very best to you, Lsura. I hope you and your friend stay friends after the wedding. Story on THAT below!

12

OK, here is the story I promised you, but the shoe is on the other foot. My niece got married back in 1991. They planned carefully and kept the times they initially set. Ah, but nobody planned that the maid of honor would do her damnedest to make things tough for them. She whined about the colors of the dresses, she wanted to wear black heels (June wedding… Stephanie said no), she wanted the wedding at a time that was better for her, she was mad she didn’t have a date, Tim wasn’t the right guy for Stephanie to marry… blah, blah, blah. She and my niece argued about something new every week, it seemed. What it turned out to be was that the MOH had been jealous of their relationship all along, and she missed all the time she and my niece had spent together before Tim came along. Sadly, once the reception was done, Stephanie and the MOH never saw each other again. So the inconsiderations and insensitivity can go both ways.

13

MrsB and I have delegated everything for our upcoming nuptials. MILs and everyone has been given strict instructions: pick something, stick to it, and don’t fucking ask us what we want, because we’ll damn well enjoy it.

It’s been working pretty well for 6 months, and there’s only 7 to go.

14

In all seriousness we are on the same page as much as I think is possible. It will be a really nice day and I’m looking forward to it. Cindy is doing a bang up job on the invitations and we’ve booked ex-porn star Candye Kane to sing at the reception. I’m looking forward to all of it.

15

[hijack]
matt _mcl, to aid your imagination:

The Fijian Wedding dress (scroll down) is made of tapa cloth.

[/hijack]

We now return you to your (ir)regularly scheduled wedding.

16

How do you get them to come out white?

:: d&r ::

17

Haven’t you ever seen old fossilized dog poop? It’s white, man!

:smiley:

18

Lsura, you sound like a great bridesmaid :slight_smile: Keep it up! The day will fly by in no time.

drinks to the wedding to be

19

DH and I wanted to go to Vegas. We wanted to do the cheesy Chapel of Love, Elvis impersonating clergy, the whole 9 yards!! Not the most original wedding, but it would’ve been just the two of us, and we would’ve been as happy as clams.

The families wouldn’t hear of it.

So instead, I had the traditional wedding, where all the families get together.

My MIL took a swing at her SIL. Afterwards, SIL refused to be on the same side of the room as MIL for the rest of the night, (though I couldn’t blame her!)

MIL, who is a recovering alcoholic, decided to do a swan dive off the wagon at my reception. Then she proceeded to bray like a jackass the entire way though the toasts and the cutting of the cake. Blathering on about wanting 10 grandkids, and yelling at DH to shove the cake in my face.

My brother disappeared into a dark parking lot with DH’s sister, and was found by sister’s boyfriend.

My cousin took pictures of the men’s bathroom, (and himself ahem if you get what I’m saying…) with the one of the disposable cameras I put on the guest tables.

One of DH’s uncles thought it would be hilariously funny to have a wheelbarrow on-hand so DH could ‘wheel’ me down the aisle after the ceremony. This only lasted until my dad found out what was in the planning.

My brother’s ate a couple of the goldfish I had swimming in the center pieces on the reception tables.

The pop distributor didn’t show up, and the florist misplaced my order, and every photographer in the state was already booked.

I think my mother and father wished they’d have just bought us round trip tickets. For what they spent of the damn thing, we could’ve stayed in Vegas for 6 months.

Elope - get as far away from the families as possible. :wink:

Syl

20

Won’t the rice stick?