I personally will not rest until we start calling restroom stalls “shit-extruding cubicles”.
Nonretainment is the winner here for me. Absolutely the worst euphemism I’ve ever encountered. Worse than even bath tissue which is pretty fucking stupid.
A friend recently tried a couple dating sites. He said that “height/weight proportional” = fat, “A few extra pounds” = very fat and “curvy” = morbidly obese. He went on to say that thin generally meant somewhat overweight and that you could only trust women who put down athletic to not be overweight.
Did you ever see “I, Claudius” ? There’s a scene where Augustus, played by Brian Blessed, has a row of men lined up in front of him. Julia, his daughter, has been accused of open immorality and these men are her accused lovers.
One by one Augustus asks, "did you sleep with my daughter?’ and one by one they reply “Yes, Caesar”, until one says “Well, Caesar, not slept”
You may hate it, but it is neither “newish” nor an affected way of saying “passed away.” I’ve only heard it used by older African Americans, but it may be more widespread.
On Frasier, Roz explains dating code words:
“Mature means old. Athletic means flat-chested. And not model thin means circus fat.”
I would argue that ‘toilet paper’ itself is a euphemism.
“Hey, we’re out of ass paper!”
On another note…
Straight man: “Did you sleep with my wife last night?”
Groucho Marx: “Not a wink.”
mmm
“Hate the Euphemism, not the Euphemizer” is my motto.
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Far too nice for the Pit, you obviously need more practice.
Any euphemistic reference to menstruation bugs me. “monthly visitor, Aunt Flo, etc.” You have your period. Don’t try to make it cute.
You could just use ‘bung wad’.
“Ethnic Cleansing” is one of those euphemisms that isn’t a euphemism any more. Like “Final Solution” or “Concentration Camp” which were coined as euphemisms but their actual meaning was so stark that they have totally lost their euphemism.
Similar with “toilet”. When I read the Oz books to my kids, I have to explain that when Dorothy or Ozma “makes their toilette” it doesn’t mean they’re shitting, it means they’re washing up. It’s the old euphemism treadmill where you come up with a euphemism to describe something disagreeable, but since the disagreeable part isn’t the word but the actual thing, the euphemism eventually becomes a disagreeable word.
As I’ve bitched about before here: When did the touchy-feely “reach out” come to replace “contact,” “meet with,” “e-mail,” or any other perfectly good word? “Hey, if you need a hand, reach out to Bill.” I picture myself on bended knee with one hand out, pleading “Bill, won’t you please help?” (Well, this *has *been close to the truth in my working life, but still). I’ve even heard it on TV, so I guess it’s a losing battle. But I refuse to use it at work, dammit.
Meh, “period” itself is basically a euphemism for “periodic shedding of the uterine lining through the vagina”.
Every word for menstruation since Old English “monthblood”, including “menstruation” itself, has been some kind of euphemism or paraphrase to emphasize the cyclic or monthly nature of the phenomenon rather than the bleeding-out-the-twat aspect.
The female menstrual cycle has been on what Lemur866 calls the “euphemism treadmill” for a long time.
All sex organs have names that should be used. Enough with “naughty bits” and “you-know-what.”
I was sitting with a group of young men at work and one asked in all innocence “What’s phallic shaped mean?” They all looked at this 50-something old lady with a deafening silence. Finally I belted out: It means shaped like a penis. Phallic shaped means penis shaped.
I don’t know about Britain, but ‘made redundant’ has a particular meaning in Australia that doesn’t exactly mean ‘you’re fired’.
Being made redundant means that the company is restructuring their workforce and there will be a number of people walking out the door with you. You will be offered a ‘redundancy package’ (a lump-sum payout depending upon your seniority and the years you have worked for said company) and often a signed agreement that you will not seek employment in the same field for (x) years after your termination (so you don’t share trade secrets with a competitor I guess).
So, being made redundant is the BEST way of getting the arse from a job. 
On edit: of course, many people who have actually being *fired *claim to friends etc they have been made redundant to save face. 
Doesn’t only apply to the disagreeable.
My favorite example of this is when I was reading the Narnia books to my kid.
Jill Pole in The Silver Chair when she is trying to make nice with some person-eating giants by being cute and adorable. The phrase “She made love to everyone” is used.
I had to explain that “making love” had a totally different meaning then! :smack:
And it can be the company who does it - one former employer of mine went through the whole rigmarole of announcing a layoff, then calling people in one at a time to tell them their status. Only one got it. Turned out they were just firing the guy in a lawsuit-proof way, that also let the guy have a better chance at finding a new job.
How do you feel about, “AH HELL NO!!!”. That’s what I use. Learnt from here:
Even worse (IMO): “Eight soldiers die in battle…”
How about “took a shit”? In all my life I have never taken a shit. I leave them.