Euty, you ass!

Tonight on FOX:

World’s scariest moderators!

You are being a complete ass. You know you are. Don’t give that crap from up on your high moderators horse. Errr… oooops. Wrong Mod.

Followed by:
Next on FOX!

Euty: I have just received an official memo from the Moderator Pit Thread Judging Board. They have ruled that a Pit thread started BY the moderator in question does not count towards your total in the Pit Thread Race.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Sheesh, I figured someone would at least point my fault in that it’s “warmonger” versus “warmongrel”.

Hopelessly awaiting a pit thread.

There once was a poster named Eutychus,
He got bored and became a sad, moody cuss.
…In a jealousy fit
…Threw himself in the Pit,
We will miss such a nice therapeutic cuss.

{Squints} Who are you, again?

Newsflash: Nice Guy Finishes Last in Hate Race

If it helps at all, I ran across a “Eutychus” in some of the readings on Rome that I’ve been doing, and it confused the crap out of me. (I forgot that you could time-travel.) I was more briefly disoriented than deeply enraged, but now I’ve had a more or less negative emotion associated with your name, which must count for something in this thread.

When do we get to hit him?

[Mr. T] I pitted the fool! [/Mr.T]


Euty, you asshat-you’re making the hamsters run over time because you’re BORED!!!

Sheesh, you mods are so spoiled!

Euty, you absolutely suck at being an irritant.

Once, once, I gleefully found some trivial thing to bitch you out about, (imbedded midi on your webpage,) and you took all the fun out of it by shrugging and and saying “I’ve been meaning to get around to removing that,” and then actually taking it out.

Worse yet, its removal, in concert with other incidentals on the page:


…conspire to give your bland, nice-guy’s-webpage an undeserved appearance of wicked irony. Jeez, that pisses me off.

One day, everyone will realize the amount of envy and self-loathing which your inconsiderate cultivation of a fine mind & beautiful soul has sowed in the world, and the truth will out. So there.

You Bastid.

Well fer fuck’s sake. Even I know you don’t start a Pit thread by apologizing for it! You wanna be an ass, just be an ass! Let your Inner Ass run free! You’ll be glad you did!

Ya wanker.

There once was a mod named Euty
Who was bummed from lack of good booty
He posted a rant
Was told to get bent
And now he will probly be snooty.

You stinkin’ burner!

[Dad’s voice]

“PATRICK, you get in here this minute!!”

[/Dad’s voice]

I think the posters above have a point, Eutychus. If you really, really want to have yourself pitted, you need a better OP than that.

You’re a moderator. When someone is being objectionable, they get reported to you.

Use those resources. Make a list of the top five people who’ve not quite been banned yet and have them help you with your post.

If you’re lucky, it’ll degenerate into a flame war. If you’re not, it’ll just go away. If you’re unlucky, it’ll wind up like the “Colin Powell’s Not Black” thread and become a chance for random dopers to riff off one another with very funny results. It’s even possible that curling will be referenced.

I know, I’m a newbie and no expert, not having been pitted yet myself, but I think I have a solid grasp of the basics and some day I’ll make it.

I’ll give you a half point, though, for getting the limericks started.

…but minus 2 points for starting your pit thread with the word “Sorry”!

Come on man, you should have started it with “Fuck all of you!” or something! You’re just too nice!

3 monkeys. 2 days.

Nah then the whiners will show up too.