Evangelical cards seek to win
A depraved son of Adam from sin
But alas! The result
Is more likely insult
Than redeeming the targeted kin.
And may you all have just the sort of holiday you (a) desire or (b) deserve. 
Shaolinrabbit, if you think your “views about the universe” are appropriate material for greeting cards, you’ve got something wrong with your brain. I don’t care how honest the views expressed within may be, you don’t get to use greeting cards as soapboxes. If you do it anyway, you’re an asshole.
So you’re saying that if I disagree with you, I must be stupid? Way to avoid having to actually justify your arguments.
No, you don’t get to insult or condemn another’s religion - especially not on a card you send to commemorate one of their own holidays. If you really believe that Jesus and the Apostles were evil liars, then you’re either completely fucking ignorant of what they taught, or you’re so amazingly immature that you feel that anyone who doesn’t promote your own belief system is inherently evil. That’s exactly the kind of thing you’d go around condemning when fundamentalist Christians do it, which indicates that you’re probably a hypocrite too. Congrats.
And if you felt the need to share that with someone on a Christian holiday in a greeting card, then you’re morally on a level with things I scrape off my shoe. Merry Christmas, asswipe.
And per his later post, please don’t assume that every athiest shares this fucker’s beliefs. I certainly don’t.
No, he had a problem with an evangelical greeting card, as has been established over and over. I know that five syllables is probably a lot for you, but there’s a difference between the expression of a religious sentiment and the attempt to browbeat those who don’t share your own beliefs.
What? Did this make sense in your mind as you wrote it, or were you just stringing words together and praying they made grammatical sentences? Back to 8th grade composition class for you!
Sending an athiestic holiday card - as in one that specifically mention’s that there is no god - is inherently rubbing up against that whole “evangelical” thing that others have tried to explain. Since there’s no useful holidays or symbolism to draw on - no reindeer or Christmas trees or wise men to represent the holiday - there’s no way to do it without specifically stating that you don’t believe in God. Stick that in a Christmas card, and it’s going to come across as an aggressive attempt to browbeat someone else into sharing your beliefs, just like the OP’s aunt.
I know you got told a lot of times growing up that what you believe is important. So let me let you and everyone else in on something: What you believe is not important to anyone but yourself. There is a legal right to express what you believe, but there’s no protections for it within the realm of interpersonal relations. Expressing what Shaolinrabbit here believes will get him (rightly) branded as an asshole. Doing it in a greeting card in place of offering warm wishes for the holidays makes you so socially defective that there’s probably no hope for you.
At any rate, Shaolinrabbit, I won’t bother with any holiday wishes since chances are you’ve alienated everyone you know with your attitudes. Have a cold winter.
Just a thought. . .
My baby and I are enjoying mulled wine and Fiona Apple singing “Across The Universe.” I have no quarrel with anyone on this Christmas Eve, and I wish all of you happiness in any way you find it.
And a special hug goes to Sol Grundy. Jah Rastafari knows I irritate the shit out of him and vice versa, and yet I think he totally rocks. I like his fierceness in defending himself and his determination to live his life on his own terms. Good for him.
Peace and blowjobs to all.
::sniff:: Non-denominational tidings of fellatio in the BBQ Pit on Christmas Eve. It’s beautiful.
And in the spirit of the season, I’ll concede that the only reason gobear irritates the shit out of me like no other poster can, is that there’s a little kernel of truth to some of the things he accuses me of. And if that’s not detante, I don’t know what is.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!
And as gobear and Sol Grundy achieve detente (perhaps detente in de pants? ;)), may all my Doper friends truly find in this season some peace on earth and good will towards all people – because that’s the point behind Christmas originally, the gift of someone special given out of love.
…
This truly must be a blessed day. A Pit thread with a happy ending? Say it ain’t fucking so!
Fuckin’ aye!
[Tiny Tim]God fuckin’ bless us, every one of us motherfuckers.[/Tiny Tim]
Do you believe that there is a substantive difference between ~B(x) and B(~x)? In other words, can an atheist also be someone who believes in the existence of no deity or deities?
This is something of a hijack, but a church down the street from me has a ‘holiday play’ every Christmas season. The neighbor ladies all go. And so of course they invited me. I’m not a Christian, but I didn’t mind seeing a Christmas theme play, and it was in fact quite nice. They even serve dessert during intermission. But after the play was over, the minister got up and began a very long-winded sermon…which I had not signed up for. I mean, hadn’t we just watched an evangelical themed play for an hour and a half? I had no idea there would be a long hellfire sermon plus altar call too. I politely declined the next year and the neighbor ladies have never invited me again. False advertising. I hate false advertising. Of course it’s a church, of course they have sermons, but they could’ve told people it was a ‘play, plus sermon afterward’.
Sorry, I guess I got carried away. Uh… who the fuck listens to Fiona Apple? She sucks!
The formerely living Tiny Tim would never say that!
Can you imagine?
Whats mulled wine? Are you really a Rasta?
Have a Happy Soltice, you all.
:dubious: This female wonders: Is this what they mean when they say Christmas is about giving, not receiving?
Don’t make me come over there! I could take or leave Fiona Apple, but her cover of “Across the Universe” is fucking sublime.
Whereas Sublime’s cover of “Fucking Fiona Apple” is only so-so.
Logicalkitten: To make mulled wine, combine 1 bottle of yummy red wine (I prefer Yellowtail Shiraz) with in chopped lemon, 1 chopped orange, 1/2 tsp nut meg, 2 cloves, 1/4 cup sugar (or Splenda, which is what i use), and 1 cinnamon stick. Heat over the stove in a saucepan on medium until the mixture just starts to steam.
And no, I’m not a Rasta, although I am an ardent fan of 70s reggae.
Sol Grundy: I won’t vouch for Ms. Apple’s entire oeuvre, but her cover of “Across the Universe” is indeed fuckin’ sublime. I really do, despite our differences, think the world of you. You have a generous soul, a sensitive and thoughtful nature, you’re an intelligent man who thinks deeply about the woirld and his place in it, and you’re hot as mortal sin to boot.
LilyoftheValley, I’m gay, so for me blowjobs are about giving as well as recieving, but I wish you and yours deliriously joyful sex acts of the season that will pleasure you in any way you like best.
Liberal: Go play your word games someplace else. You know what atheism means, so cease the provocation and have a glass of wine.
Happy New Year to all!
Bit premature, doncha think?
Why? The New Year is on its way, so why not wish people a happy one? After all,we say “Merry Christmas” during the entire season, do we not?
Actually, no. Not here, anyway. This is no big deal, but I didn’t realise that you guys did that.
The first time I said “Merry Christmas” to anyone this year, and the first time anyone said it to me was on Friday, Christmas Eve.
Someone said “Happy New Year” to me today, but the full sentence was “In case I don’t see you before then, Happy New Year”. 
Lordy, even during a time when you’re flinging out drunken glad tidings to all and sundry, you cannot stop yourself from taking a jab at me. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean you have to lash out at it like a redneck barking about gay marriage destroying America. ~B(x) and B(~x) are fundamentally different statements.