EVE, love, a question

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It seems like you’ve answered this, maybe before the GREAT '02 CRACKER OUTRAGE, and I can’t remember.
Some say a cracker is just an evil hacker, but the point being moot, I’ll go with the folks who were angry at the term “hacker”, and stick with cracker. Mmm, oh, yeah, why is it you don’t have a PC or even webtv, as I do?

Your threads seem to sometimes get lost over the weekends and of course you can’t post to anyone else for two days.(Three, in this case).

What’s up, dollink?

            Ever so,
              Rick
2

What’s that I hear in the night?
Good god, it’s a…BUMP!

Well, it’s hard to be clever with no sleep.
Must crash

3

Crackers? Hackers? Webtv? Goodness, dear, I don’t think you mean ME. I don’t know an iBook from a Kinetoscope. What exactly IS your question?

4

Damn.

And here I bet manhattan ten bucks she wouldn’t bother to answer this.

5

Screw the geek stuff …is it safe for the missus to wear white now?

6

Beagle—She may wear white shoes as long as she is wearing a white blouse or skirt. She may only wear all three at once if she is a nurse.

Ike—I get $5.00 of that.

7

Eve-

And what about shoes. Lady Chance likes wearing open-toed shoes at summer garden parties but finds the local tick problem obsessing her thoughts.

Is there some way around this for her?

8

Why, certainly, dear—you and your Lady must simply retire to a quiet place and do an intense tick-check on one another from time to time.

9

Eve-

You know how the lint usually comes out of the clothes dryer lint-trap in one nice long easy-to-dispose-of strip?

Well, lately, mine has been sticking. It’s a real pain in the neck, scraping at it to get it clean.

I’ve been thinking of spraying a little of that aerosol canola oil onto the trap, to try to restore the non-stick surface. What do you think?

10

Dear Ike—I find that if you spray the lint-trap with Static Guard it will come out in a snap! And if you gather together enough of the lint, you can make a dandy hair-rat for when you want that Gibson Girl pompadour look.

11

Eve, I have noticed lately that people seem to be increasingly irritable, humorless and just plain not nice. Is there anything you can do about this?

Thanks, Cindi

12

Dear Cindi—Why, yes. I recommend becoming a bitter recluse. The hours are great and—while there are no medical benefits—every day is Casual Friday!

13

EVE:

Okay, it’s easy to meander when your eyes(and brain) are bleary from lack of sleep.

My question, simply put, is why ainchou got no way to get on line at home?

14

Absolutely brilliant, you mean I don’t have to interact with mean nasty bad people IRL and I can just stay home instead?

It almost seems worth a try except for one thing. I’m addicted to human contact in all its many forms.

It’s kind of like banging my head against the wall. The wall doesn’t care but at least I get to feel like I’m doing something. Also, it feels so damn good when you stop.

15

ageless—I like being unplugged. I have enough ways to waste time at home, especially when I should be writing. I don’t even answer the phone unless I want to talk. I figure, I have e-mail and internet access at work; that is quite sufficient.

That being said, I will probably be online at home in the next year or so. My printer died, and they no longer make printers compatible with my old Edison wind-up computer. So I will probably have to upgrade to an iBook, and all the mishegas that goes with it.

Now. Anyone have any questions on anwering marriage proposals by mail? What shoes go with that bag? How to disengage oneself from a masher in a hansom cab?

16

Well then.

I’m meeting a prospective employer for dinner this evening. 6PM, Georgetown Mansion/Townhouse. You know the sort of thing.

Dark suit? White shirt?

Any other tips?

17

So HA, you nasty old Ike, ya!

Eve:

I hear that mashers are easy to disengage from, immediately after orgasm. Will they call you is the question.

18

Mr. Chance—was this a formal invitation? If so, did it specify dress? If not, a dark business suit, white shirt and spectacular silk tie will suffice. It’s always better to underdress than overdress.

Ageless—Just remember, a Lady never enters a hansom cab. They call them “loose boxes,” and your reputation will never be recovered if you are seen in one. Next thing you know, you’ll find yourself posing in tights in the Police Gazette!

19

Dear Eve,

Where do babys come from?

Signed, Confused

20

Dear essvee—I have seen many women in the Shop-Rite wheeling babies around in their shopping cart, so I assume you can get them there. I have never been down that aisle, but I’ll bet it’s the one they’re always calling for a clean-up in.