Ever been adored by an animal whose affections you don't reciprocate?

My partner’s dog adores me, to the point where it’s almost disturbing. She routinely gets in bed between us - and no, that’s not to keep me away from him, it’s to keep him away from me! When we manage to oust her - she’s a Rhodesian Ridgeback in her prime, so big and strong - she chooses to nestle up to me all night.

She loves giving kisses on the lips, which I don’t permit, and she’s a smart dog so she knows this. I generally manage to keep her at bay, but if I let down my guard and give her access - SLURP!

I live downstairs from my boyfriend, so while we’re together a lot I have my own separate space. She often deposits herself outside my door, and just stays there. (I don’t let her in - I have three cats and they would Not. Approve. At. All.)

The thing is, I’m not really a dog person. I like her a lot, and I’m happy to give her affection, take her on walks, give her treats, and generally behave like a good human around her. But I don’t feel a real bond with her, and honestly she’s a real PITA when she leaps into bed when I’m trying to snuggle with my partner. We can and do shut the door so she can’t come in, but that also keeps his cat out, and I’m perfectly happy to have the feline companionship, so that’s a strike against the dog in my book, since I either have to put up with her overbearing behavior or be deprived of having the cat to snuggle with.*

I don’t get it. It’s not like her owner isn’t kind to her - he does adore her, and (ugh) lets her give him kisses on the mouth. She’s perfectly happy to be around him, and does obey him. But it’s pretty obvious she’d like nothing more than to become my dog.

Dogs are supposed to be attuned to human signals. Surely she must understand that her wild affection is not reciprocated. Anyone else have an animal “fan” they don’t feel the same way about?

*It’s a big bed, in case you’re wondering - a California king, is I think what they call it. So there is plenty of space for all of us.

I think you are giving way too much credence to the emotional intelligence of your partners pet. It’s probably due to you falsely ascribing similar emotional intelligence to your cats.

I’ll grant you the possibility that this particular dog has lower EQ (emotional intelligence) than I assume. But I don’t “falsely ascribe” EQ to my cats. Their behavior abundantly demonstrates that they either have no clue what I’m thinking, or don’t care. :grin:

It could be your smell or tone of voice.

My mom had a dog that would favor the youngest person in the room. I don’t mean kids verses adults. If there was a 25yo and a 35yo in the room, he would buddy up with the 25yo.

Babies he’ll become so possessive over, he won’t even allow the other family dogs near the baby even though they have no intent of harming the baby. He’ll just growl and scare his brothers and sisters away.

He’s a big dog too. German Sheppard.

I’ve known numerous cats who, when guests arrived, would jump into the lap of the only person present who hated cats.

I don’t say that you’re the dominant partner in your relationship with your BF, but you’re clearly the dominant female in that relationship. Dogs are pack animals. They suck up to the boss.

Yeah. You’re screwed :wink:

Our lab loves my mother who visits about once a year for a week or more, sometimes staying with us.

Mom tolerates The Dog but there’s a palpable “Ewwwww” quality in the whole ordeal, particularly with the aforementioned kisses, and – Ogg Forbid – he wants to sniff … um … Her.

We haven’t found a real solution.

There’s a part of me that hopes Mom will suddenly fall in love, because – for the life of me – I’ve never been able to get The Dog to do or not do … anything :slight_smile:

Best of luck to you all !

The only advice I’ve got is to start training her to behave the way you want her to. For example, she’s not allowed on the bed when you are there. Ever. Hopefully you can work up to having her on the floor and the cat on the bed. Good luck.

My dog preferred the guy across the street, his dog preferred me.

At least we played up any instance that could be construed that way, so we could act like Rodney Dangerfields…

There is probably a combination of things a work with that (including no doubt some confirmation bias), but at the heart of it seems to be a cross-species communication breakdown. The person that is avoiding looking at or pursuing a pet will often be perceived by the cat to be the friendliest, most polite person in the room. Looking away is one way cats indicate social comfort with each other, whereas staring is aggressive.

I thought this thread was going to be about leg-humping.

More seriously, this:

For whatever reason, dog is getting the vibe that you’re the boss of him, so he has to suck to you.

That makes good sense, but I also think there may be an olfactory component at play, “You do not smell like cat. You need to smell more like cat. Here, let me fix that.

That made me laugh. The dog in question is a spayed female, but from time to time she gets so overwrought that she “air humps,” rhythmically thrusting her pelvic region. It’s funny but also slightly horrifying.

Emerging cicadas absolutely could not get enough of me on the trail yesterday. They’d be crawling up my leg 2 or 3 at a time.

Band name.

Just you wait - it only gets “better” from here.

That is usually a dominance thing.

bug rock

I’m not a dog person. I tolerate several people’s dogs, but I don’t enjoy their company. So it always surprises me when a dog thinks I’m awesome.