My husband (boyfriend at the time) answered the phone during sex. Admittedly we’d been going at it a while, and he was expecting an important phone call.
The good/funny part is that he just picked me up, still “clinched” in place, and carried me across the room to get the phone. 
I managed to behave during the short call.
Yeah. I don’t make a habit of answering my phone when having a good time, much less her phone, but the fact of the matter is, she’d been trading texts with this girl the better part of the night and I was in kind of a goofy mood and had in the back of my mind that I’d do it if another text came through during the act. It did, so I did. Turns out it made the other girl’s day.
From my girlfriend’s standpoint, other than object slightly*, there was precious little she could do about it given that her ankles were up over my shoulders at the time.
And I don’t want to come across like a totally heartless bastard here: the first two times I tried to send the message, I flubbed it badly. The send button on her phone is where the backspace button is on mine, so the other girl got something like the following two messages before she got the right one:
Once, a few years ago, my wife (girlfriend then) and I had just got done having sex in her bedroom and we heard her mom come in the house. We had gotten undressed on the way into the bedroom, so our clothes were strung all over the living room. Her mom didn’t care though.
Another time, I was banging a girl in my car down by the river, and a cop drove by us and shined a light in the car. Fortunately, he just drove off.
I once walked in on my mom and this guy she was dating. I was 18. I came home early, and they were on the couch, covering themselves with a blanket. To say it was awkward is a bit of an understatement.
I think my mom caught me masturbating once, too. I didn’t know she was home, and I was upstairs in my bed. After I finished, I started to walk downstairs to go to the bathroom and do clean-up. I was wearing only socks, holding my wang in one hand. And then I saw her lying on the couch. I immediately turned around and walked back upstairs and used a sheet or something for clean-up. When I came back down, I just said that I didn’t know she was home and that I just took my clothes off upstairs to come down and shower.
“In your socks?”, she said.
I don’t remember what I said, but it was something like “Uh…I was going to take them off downstairs and put them in the dirty clothes hamper…because they were dirty. They needed washed. Hamper.” She had been napping, so I don’t actually know how much she saw or was aware of.
This, only it was my dad walking in on the girlfriend and I making the Beast With Two Backs. I kinda rolled over onto my side between the GF and Dad in reflex. His only reaction later was to drop off a few packages of condoms on my desk. I don’t think he ever told Mom.
A few years later, at a party, someone opened the bedroom door looking for a bathroom while I was orally pleasuring my date on the bed. A quick “Oops!” was all that was said.
This wasn’t in a big, old hotel in the mountains by any chance, was it?
One amorous morning, we heard a tiny voice saying “I want cereal!!” from the side of the bed. She was under 3, so she hadn’t a clue…
Oh, that reminds me of another one. I was at a girl’s house, in her room, and she was giving me a bj, when her sister walked in. I believe “oops!” was all that was said then, too. I actually ended up dating the sister for a while, so in retrospect, I should have probably just asked her to join us then.
When an ex-boyfriend and I were living with another couple in an apartment, we were having an afternoon delight. No one was home, so we were less than inhibited (in other words–I was LOUD).
My friend later told me that they came home and listened to us have sex. So we weren’t caught visually, but we were caught. :smack:
We rented a room from the girlfriend’s older sister, and she came in one night to tell us something about something. What she saw was me sitting on the bed with my back to the door, with the girlfriend on her back in front of me, and my hands down somewhere presumably doing unspeakable things. We heard the door open, “Hey guys, uh…” and the door closed.
Also, my pops caught me shaking hands with my little friend once when I was a kid. I was supposed to be cleaning my room on a Saturday and the urge hit. He opened the door, and there was silence except for the snap as I let my elastic-band shorts fall back into place, trying to look like I was doing anything except the five-knuckle shuffle. He got a funny little grin on his face, said “Lunch is ready” and left, making sure to close the door.
Only a dad can grin while catching his son “doing the five knuckle shuffle”. If my mother caught me (a girl, FTR) diddling myself, she would have passed out. “Stop touching yourself!!”
Recently, in an Ambien induced fog (which I don’t remember) my wife caught me trying to masturbate in bed. Apparently I was quite distraught that my member was not responding to my amorous advances. She told me that I was working it over so hard that she was afraid that I was going to hurt myself. I have absolutely no knowledge of this event and would never do that in bed with her next to me.
Yeah, I tried that once, too. Word to the wise: Nothing will get your scrip changed faster than trying to tell the wife that the cheerleader met you at the pharmacy and was just making sure you got home safe.
With my herd of stepkids? Hell yes! 7 times, 8 brats, 9 grand-brats, 20 years.
Totally kills the moment.
Being the mean, cruel, selfish, evil people that I and their fathers are/were, the interuption was always shortly followed by come-to-jesus discussions about doors being shut for many reasons, the importance of knocking AND WAITING FOR <ahem, please excuse me> a coherent invitation to enter before doing so, and “go 'way” is not, in fact, an invatation to open the damn door.
Somehow, Thanksgiving dinner has always been pleasant.
My roommate came home one afternoon with his parents in tow. This fact escaped me and my girlfriend as we went at it feverishly in my tiny little bedroom.
I guess we were pretty noisy and they tried to relieve their discomfort by turning up the stereo, etc, but to no avail.
Finally, my roommate had enough and he lit a full pack of firecrackers and tossed them into my bedroom. That room was very small and those firecrackers were VERY loud.
I was in bed with my girlfriend one time when the phone rang. For some bizarre reason, she wanted me to answer the call. It was my ex-girlfriend calling to say that she was engaged. Rather embarrassing, to say the least.
Never physically caught, but one time my girlfriend and I were sharing a different sort of conversation over the phone when there was a scuffle on the other end and the shouts of “Mom! Knock first and go away!”
Once at a party in Russia, where we had “borrowed” the owner’s bed for our own nefarious purposes. The owner was the unlucky soul who caught us.
Once, with the ambassador’s daughter. By the ambassador. That’s all you need to know.
I’m surprised your Location field doesn’t mention a gulag.
The first two? You sent three text messages during sex? By the second flub I’d have lobbed the phone into the wall and carried on with my business.
The most memorable time of being caught in the act for me happened a few years ago while camping at the lake with a former bf.
It was autumn, through the week and the campground was empty, save us and our lonely little tent. One night, things got a little playful at the picnic table. In the midst of having fun, an extremely bright search light shone upon our pale parts like the midday sun. We heard laughing and hooting from somewhere out on the lake.
I waved.
(What? It’s not like they were looking at our faces :D)