I’ve never had it happen to me, but have known people who have been chased by waitstaff. Although I understand it, I can’t believe they don’t get fired for it.
While I was in college I worked in three different Vegas casinos as a cocktail waitress. In each casino we were told that we were never ever allowed to criticize a customer for stiffing us or tipping us what we would consider to be too little. It was told to us over and over and in each of the three I know of at least one girl fired for it.
For the most part we all made great money. Of course there were dead shifts, but for the most part it was fantastic. For every terrible night there were three nights of making crazy money. Yes there were going to be plenty of people who gave you absolutely nothing every time you brought them a drink, but I never got used to the girls bitching about it. Never.
You cannot imagine how many times I would see them (or hear them bragging about) handing a quarter or a dollar back to a customer and sniff and say “keep it” because they were pissed that it wasn’t more. No matter how many times you’d tell them “It’s a FREE drink” and yes it’s nice to get tipped something for bringing it to them, WHY would you think they should ALL give you $5 or more?
Inevitably these were the girls who made the least. Hey, quarters make dollars. Plus, if you’re friendly people will give you more. They would all be hoping for the guy who pops you $100 a drink (and there are those who do that and more) but if you’re nice to EVERYBODY you get even more.
Actually, I don’t think the question “Was everything OK with the service?” would bother me, especially if it was asked in a non-judgmental tone. If everything was OK, I’d just smile and say “Yes, thanks; everything was fine”. If there really was a problem with service, I’d say something like “Well, there were some issues; is there a manager around that I could speak to for a moment?” and take it from there.
I tend to eat at the same few places again and again, and will ask for specific servers that I like. They like me, too, because they know I tip well for good service. But they have to prove themselves the first time they wait on me. They don’t know, the first time, that I’m a good tipper, and if the service is mediocre, the tip will be, too, and I won’t be requesting them again. But if the service goes above and beyond before they know how I tip, they’ll be well-compensated. Waiting tables is a hard job, I’m sure (I’ve never actually done it), and waiting tables well is even harder, and therefore should be better-paid.
I tip well for even mediocre service, so if I’m not leaving a tip and they confront me about it (thankfully that’s never happened to me) they will get to hear exactly why they’re not getting a tip from me. That guy who throws his tip into the street at customers to ‘humiliate’ them? I would be enraged and tell him to cram it up his ass. Then pick my change up and never go back to that place again.
If I saw a waiter do that to another patron, I’d immediately pay the bill and leave, and there would be no tip available to throw on the street after me.
Hasn’t happened to me personally. One of my first jobs was waitressing and I know what difficult work it can be.
But I did once see a member of the waitstaff at a Red Lobster pursue a customer into the parking lot and scold him for a meager tip. Couldn’t believe it.
Put me in a restaurant and I’m a total doormat. I’ve heard so many unrelenting complaints about the public by waitstaff, that I always leave at least a 30% tip as long as the server has a pulse. So I’ve never been yelled at - but I still half-expect it!
I also can’t recall the last time I had really bad service. It’s usually fairly consistent in this day and age…
This happened to me at an IHOP, only we were high school students having a brunch and were too shocked at his behavior for it to occur to us to go back inside, point out the tip, and pocket it. One friend called corporate to bitch and got some coupons or something, but we never used them. I haven’t been in an IHOP since.
I’m usually a 20-25% tipper even for mediocre service, but one time we were in an Applebee’s (yeah, our bad) and the waiter was just a huge dick. Snotty, condescending, unhelpful, never around, etc. He put my friend’s straw in her drink upside down. This caused the wrapper to dissolve in the water, leaving little bits of paper floating around. When she asked for a new glass, he told her to “just fish them out” before finally bringing a replacement 15 minutes later.
We finished our meals, then we all emptied our pocket change into my friend’s glass as a tip. There was still about an inch of liquid in the bottom, but hell, he can just fish it out, right? Jackass.
Oh, I agree with you, but I’ve had it asked both in a “friendly” way and a “You’re a stingy asshole” tone. I’ve got no issue with the “friendly” way, obviously, and my replies were basically the same as yours “No, everything was fine, thanks.”
When we were about 16 my best friend and I had lunch in a coffeeshop slightly nicer than a Denny’s. He was paying and I had no money at all. When the bill came, it was higher than expected and my friend had just barely enough money to cover the bill, plus exactly five cents left over.
I argued he should tip nothing, because some people never tip on principle and the waitress could probably accept that, but he was sure leaving even a nickel was better than leaving nothing. He wouldn’t hear me when I said leaving a nickel was MUCH worse; it’s a deliberate insult. He left the nickel.
The waitress came running out to the street after us, saying “Sir! Sir! You forgot your money!” She handed my friend the nickel. He smiled graciously and thanked her.
Many years ago, I waited tables at a Pizza Hut in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin that offered a 5.00 lunch buffet on weekdays. One day we had a larger than normal number of retirees come for lunch. The other waitress working with me got fed up with the .50 tips that were typical of the Social Security set. After cleaning one of her tables and seeing the meager gratuity, she stomped out of the dining area, stopped at the edge of the kitchen, turned back to face the remaining diners and yelled, “This is highway robbery!”
No I haven’t. Hell, for that matter I dealt with a server this past Veteran’s Day who dealt with a whole afternoon of chronically short tips with grace and style. A number of eateries offered a free meal to any veteran who could come through the door. Usually it was in the form of a choice of items from a select menu, but if you liked the food of the place normally, it was a pretty good deal.
I went in, ordered a soda and one of the free meals, and then proceeded to calculate my tip based on what the cost of my meal would have been had I paid for my entree. So, I ended up leaving a $3.50 tip on a $2.50 bill. Not what I’d call an extravagant tip, just a little over 20%, but what I figured was a good one. The waitress thanked me with a note of surprise when she saw the amount I’d left, and then asked why I was wincing.
I explained I’d hoped that my fellow vets (You could see more Legion caps there than you normally see at Memorial Day parades.) would have done better remembering to tip on the value of the whole meal, not just the portion they were being charged for.
Her response was to simply smile, say she had no complaints, and that she’d make it up later in the week.
If it was a buffet, though, wouldn’t the customers have been serving themselves? Whenever I go to a buffet, I always leave a buck or two for the person who brought our drinks, but rarely anything more than that. Fifty cents does seem chintzy, but not out of line if the people are getting their own food.
I’m fairly generous when I tip for full service. I only leave a buck or two for a buffet, though, if the server just brings drinks. Whether I leave one or two bucks depends on how promptly the drinks get refilled, and other things. I’ve left as much as five bucks per person, but it was a fancy buffet, and the server was EXTREMELY attentive.
I thought i didn’t, but then I remembered a time, sort of, early on in my current job. Me and a few colleagues went out to dinner somewhere on a work-related trip. We paid by credit card, then left a tip on the table. The waiter came running out after us, in the freezing Albany winter, in shirt sleeves, bitching in another language. He did not speak English very well (It was a French restaurant and he was speaking French, of all things!) It took us some time to understand him, while he cursed us out. I remember hearing the few French words I knew like “merde” and stuff. Finally we realized he was pointing to the tip line on the receipt. We eventually got it through to him that it was on the table. He didn’t even apologize, just made a “fuck you” gesture and went back inside.
Needless, to say, we never went back again, and the restaurant has since closed. (Wonder why?) Even a few years later, I would have complained, but then I was very shy and non-confrontational. I am still a little wary of French restaurants due to that experience and one other bad experience I had at another French restaurant.
No, I never had a service provider criticize how much I tipped, but I did have a provider tell me how much I should tip. It happened twice on my recent trip to Vegas, on a tour to the Hoover Dam and on a tour to the west rim of the Grand Canyon.
For simplicity I’ll just recall the canyon trip.
Jean Paul was a very informative and entertaining tour guide. I really liked him and everyone else seemed to agree. On the way back, I looked around the bus, noticed about 40 people and figured that an extra $400.00 was a pretty good haul for a 8 hour gig. I settled on a $20 tip to cover my wife and I.
Then Jean Paul announced that given many Vegas tourists don’t know what to tip, he’ll advise us that we should tip the bus driver and him each 15%. That’s normal.
Okay, since my wife and my tickets cost 400.00, my tips should total 120.00 Look, I’m grateful that I got back to Vegas alive and somewhat on time (actually we didn’t but not the driver’s fault), but given that there are plenty of teamsters that don’t get tips, what makes my tour driver special ?
Jean Paul, I’m only giving him the $20.00 that I concluded he deserves for excellent service, but I hope I never see him again. I hope he enjoys his income, because I don’t think my customers or clients ever rewarded me with as much as he gets for a gratuity for 6 hours of work. I’m sorry if my contribution falls short of what he thinks he deserves.
I moved from the suburbs of Nashville to the big city of Atlanta when I was 18.
Dominos was still young, and we had never had food or anything delivered to the house, so I was completely naieve in the ways of tipping.
I would work on restoring a car in the garage virtually every night, and I would call Dominos and order a pizza. Every night was the same, 5 or 6 bucks and change, and I would let the driver keep the change. Probably .50 or so - less than a dollar. Always. For a year or more. No one ever said anything.
Then one night my new girlfriend was over, and we ordered a pizza. She was gathering money to pay, and asked me for some ones. I was puzzled…she already had the 6 bucks or whatever it was.
“For the tip, dummy.” Huh? what tip? She explained The Ways Of Tipping to me, and changed forever the incomes of several local Dominos emloyees.
I saw immediately the error of my ways, and went by my local Dominos, talked to the manager, and gave each of the delivery guys that had been working there for the last year a hundred bucks apiece.
I could see this going either way–was the server snotty or just being honest? Because if that was all you could afford to tip, well, he had a point, and maybe he was just trying to be nice.
This is beautiful.
Yeah, I absolutely agree. A tiny tip is an insult. No tip–especially accompanied by an apology to the server for your inability to perform basic math before you ordered–would be much better.