Let me clear something up. I worked as a waitress for about 3 weeks once, when I was 18. I wasn’t good at it, and the owner had a “no tipping” policy, and it was an ice cream parlor. So my attitude about tipping isn’t because I’m a server, or because I worked for a long time as one.
I don’t like the custom of tipping, and I wish that there were more options of eating out without tipping. If I order food or drinks at the counter, and pick up my order at the counter, no, I DON’T put any money in that tip jar. However, when I go into a restaurant, and sit down, and order something from the menu, the restaurant has every right to expect me to pay my bill. I entered a social contract when I went in and ordered. I also entered into a social contract with my server. True, one is legally enforceable and one isn’t, but in both cases I have indicated that I’m willing to pay for goods and services rendered.
I do think that people who announce that “it’s customary to tip” for various services are pretty aggressive. And I think that they’re wrong, it’s NOT customary to tip for that service, but some people can be intimidated into tipping who might otherwise not tip. I view the tip jar as a way of pressuring people into tipping for a service that customarily has been provided as part of the price of the coffee or sandwich.
I challenge the people who think that it’s OK not to tip to go into a restaurant, and let the server know up front that they don’t plan to tip. See if any server is willing to pay to serve you.
The first time I was ever in the Netherlands I was simply tipping like I was back in the USA. It was actually a bartender (a stunning young woman at that) who asked me why I was leaving such a large amount as a tip, and then told me that I only needed to leave a few guilders, as was the custom there.
It was the only time in my life that a service provider told me my tip was too generous and asked me to take most of it back…
But that’s just the point–it’s expected that they will be tipped to a level that will bring their income well above minimum wage. It’s my understanding that waiting tables is one of the best-paid jobs a person with no education, credentials, experience in a trade, etc. can get. Which is why people take a job that guarantees you will interact with some percentage of assholes–you’re compensated in a way that means you can support yourself, and possibly a family.
I brought that in. Tipping in the U.S. is how it works. If you cannot afford the tip, you cannot afford the meal. It’s left to your discretion how much to tip so that you can base it on the service you receive. 15% is absolutely expected for adequate service.
A cashier at a fast food restaurant is not a waiter; a waiter in a country where tipping is not an expected part of the income who is paid a reasonable hourly wage is not a waiter in the U.S. who is paid a pittance and expected to make most of their income from tips.
My apologies–the phrase was unintentionally ambiguous. My intent with “legal theft” was to indicate that it was theft in all but being illegal: i.e., you won’t be prosecuted for it, but it’s still stealing, because you implicitly agreed to pay the waiter for serving you if the service was adequate, and then declined to do so after having received the service.
No. I can’t stand people who do that. I’m sure I’ve mentioned my position on it more than once here, too.
I was raised by my mom to tip waiters, hotel housekeeping, taxi drivers, anyone in a hotel who provides a special service for me (e.g., brings up my bags or delivers complimentary toiletries to my room if I forgot mine), etc. And my family was not rich–I’d say we were smack-dab in the middle of the middle class. I don’t think my parents’ income would even have hit six figures if you’d combined them, and their divorce was finalized when I was 5.
If you talk to the management about it, AFAIK there’s *always *an option not to pay, *if *you explain that you’re not tipping because of specific complaints about the service. 32% is also *ridiculously *out of line for automatic gratuities. Was it a manager who told you the tip was required? If so, did you try contacting someone at the corporate office?
That’s what we thought too. They knew we were pissed, but made no attempts to placate us. We did ask for a supervisor, but we were told there wasn’t one available. As it was a birthday party, we just decided to let it go and not spoil the rest of the evening.
Moderator note
Whatever you think of Martini Enfield’s tipping behavior when visiting the States, it’s definitely wrong to insult people in this forum. Do not do this again.
Sounds like you got conned by your waitperson. If anybody ever has this happen to them, I’d strongly recommend either (a) holding out for a manager or (b) getting in touch with some sort of regional or corporate director ASAP after the incident.
See, it is probably best not to make assumptions about folks. I don’t have money to burn (most people don’t). But I would rather go out to eat once a month and tip heavy than to go out 3 times a month and tip 25%. That’s my indulgence. It makes me feel good to know that the server is going to be happy and maybe even a bit surprised. And the perks are great, too. It’s a fun little thing for me. It would never occur to me to judge anyone about this just as it wouldn’t occur to me to judge those who spend their luxury money on art or movies or plays or fine wine. How odd.
Personally, I tip 20% because I can afford it, and I remember what it was like to work at a job where you got paid absolute shit. Working in coffeeshops through college, I never expected tips, but I was always grateful to get them, so especially when I’m in a situation where a tip is an intended part of the cost of the meal, I’m sure to contribute my fair share.
Yes, it was. honest. Maybe we were being ripped off by the wait staff or something. It has been 4 years, so I’m not sure if I’m remembering the details fully, but IIRC, they said it was partially for the bar tap and partially for the food service.
Yes, in hind sight, I think that might be what happened. The place was brand new and packed. We were just ready to get out of there and try to finish the night without anymore aggravation.
I had the opposite scenario: couple years ago at a restaurant here in China (where tipping is unacceptable) I left a tip under the plate for a particularly good waiter, paid the bill, and walked out. He bounded out the door, ran up to me, and stuffed it in my hand and told me he wouldn’t accept it, that my continued patronage would be enough.
OTOH, I’ve yet to meet the Chinese taxi driver who wont “keep the change.”
The tip is there* because* the level of service can vary so wildly each dining experience. People who don’t care to tip the customary amount probably don’t care if their service is phenomenal or just adequate. Or if they do, then it’s probably going to be an irreconcilable disagreement: they think I’m entitled because I think I should get paid depending on how hard I work and how conscientious I am; I think they are entitled because they want to pay less than what everyone else does for personal, face-to-face handservice – with a smile.
Furthermore, if I’m busy, every second of my time is valuable, and if I’m spending time with one party, some other party is being neglected. The party that isn’t going to tip well probably doesn’t care to have that much face time with me anyway. Furthermore, if spending more time with a stingy table is reducing my tips from tables where I can make more money. I like making people happy, but it’s not volunteer work, it’s my job and this is how I pay my bills. If you find this to be “shitty work ethic”, then pretty much every server in every restaurant you’ve been to has “shitty work ethic”.
Like I said, baseline service, even for the stingy, is still pretty decent, so don’t freak out. But providing excellent service for someone who won’t pay for it isn’t just a waste of time, it’s a waste of money for me. As much as I would like to make everyone who walks into my restaurant feel good, I’m primarily there to pay rent.
It’s this kind of sentiment that I believe is also problematic. That eating out somehow gives you the right to make someone your bitch. We hear anecdotes on the SDMB all the time about insufferable customers who think they can treat waitstaff like shit because they are customers. I don’t see that happening anywhere else outside the US.
Also the idea that customers are entitled to tell the waitstaff how to customize the menu just for them is kind of an alien idea to me. I just hope that Americans aren’t doing that when they travel to exotic places and go to eat outside of major hotels - because, if you do, you’re probably getting a fair amount of spittle in your food.
I look forward to the story of how your next five projects for clients will all be performed for $2.50 USD an hour plus the warm congratulations of the client.
You know what? I WAS / AM a contractor (different jobs) and I would quote a price I was comfortable performing a job, and then bust my butt to see that the job was done.
I am not so cheap and crass to be bought like that - I do my work because I said I would, not because I can be purchased
Interesting–I’ve continuously suggested doing this, and nobody ever responds to the suggestion. It’s great that you let folks know; I suspect that, unless the manager’s an asshole, he’s tipping the waitstaff out of her own pocket after you leave.