I’m not talking about mental illness or physical injury, just any everyday incidents where you realised you don’t have quite as much control over your own body as you thought you did.
This came up in a discussion with a friend the other day which is why I thought I’d start a thread on it.
We were debating the merits of otherwise of ABS on cars (I’m against it being compulsary). Apart from my most recent car all the vehicles I’ve owned have come without ABS and so I learned to drive and more importantly brake without its benefits.
A couple of years ago I was doing an advanced driver training course and we were practicing on a skidpan, how to recover from oversteer, understeer, aquaplaning and so on (a lot of fun!). One aspect of the training was to show how ABS enables a driver to maintain steering control even when standing heavily on the brakes in an emergency situation.
To demonstrate this the instructor had us drive at speed towards a cone and stand heavily on the brakes before trying to drive around it (point being without ABS you just slide straight into it) however despite three attempts I just could not bring myself to brake heavily enough in ‘non-ABS’ mode to lock-up.
Intellectually I knew what I was supposed to do but every time I tried the subconciously trained part of my brain took over just as the vehicle was about to lock up and eased off the brakes so I’d avoid the cone. I couldn’t conciously command the vehicle to lock-up and skid because I’ve spent 17 years learning not to.
It was actually a little disturbing and as said above reminded me that I don’t have quite as much concious free-will and control as I previously assumed.
When I was at school, learning how to highjump, I kept falling face-first onto the bar - even when the bar was knee height. Repeatedly. The other children laughed, the teacher yelled at me to stop “clowning around”. I was trying my best, but the “plant one foot, lift the other” thing was beyond me. Then one of my classmates told my teacher I was left-footed (he played soccer with me), and perhaps I should run in from the other side…
After that, I was clearing the bar at chest height.
I did a couple of cross-country hikes with friends when I was a teenager. It was a sunny afternoon, and though I’d grown up in the area, this particular block of woods and hills was new to me. But I KNEW that the way back out was to our right. I knew it with all my heart and soul, even though it meant that the way the sun was moving, it would have to set in the north that night.
I had almost the same thing happen as you did. I was taking motorcycle classes and was supposed to speed up and then hit just the front brakes as an exercise about losing control. I couldn’t do it. I had to use my back breaks. I tried several times and then got a pass from the trainer who said that I was a good example as to how someone should ride.
Flying into Hong Kong’s old Kai Tak airport, my brain was certain that on the final approach the plane had just come to a full stop while still several hundred feet above the ground. Fortunately for all, I was a passenger, not the pilot.
BTW, are there any pilots here? Just from reading stuff online, it sounds like mental arguments between what the novice pilot’s brain knows and what his/her instruments are saying is pretty common. E.g., JFK Jr. found himself on the losing end of such a disagreement. Maybe those Air France guys too.
This morning, between my rational self and my stupid lazy one:
“You should go for a run.”
“Meh, too much hassle.”
“You ate a hell of a lot for breakfast and you’ve done fuck all exercise for three days.”
“But it’ll be hard work and I’ll get all sweaty.”
“OK, I’ll make a deal with you. Just put on your running shorts. Doesn’t mean you actually have to run.”
“Hmm, this sounds like a trap.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Oh ok.”
“There, that wasn’t so hard was it? Now how about the running vest?”
“I guess so.”
“And now you look underdressed without the running shoes.”
“OK then. But this doesn’t mean anything, right?”
“Of COURSE not!”
“There. Satisfied?”
“Now how about going outside? Just to walk around.”
“Durr… OK.”
“Well now we’re walking, you may as well pick up the pace a bit.”
“Durr… OK. Hey, wait a minute - I’m running! You tricked me!”
This is exactly me! I simply cannot stomp on the brakes, no matter what, and what is really pathetic about it is I no longer live where there would be anything on the surface of the road that would likely make me skid, but 30 years on ice and snow without ABS? Yeah, brake stomping just isn’t going to happen.
Every time I try to take a dip in cold water. I get in up to my waist, then it’s: “OK, go!.. No, not yet. OK, count to three and go… one, two, th— no not yet…”
Oh yeah, several times every summer. And when I was a boater I tried to capsize so I could practice recovery – but I could never bring myself to do it.
More recently, I’ve been taking a class on meditation. More specifically, getting and staying present. It’s really quite simple. Just quiet the mind and stay focused on what’s happening in my experience right now. Not ten minutes from now. Not an hour ago.
Not yesterday, like when I was walking down the street and I saw this guy that reminded me of that guy I used to know – what was his name? Gary, I think. I knew him in school. We were in this band together, and we used to play this one song. How did it go? Da da da daaa da da da… No, wait, that was and Eric Clapton song. I really should listen to that Clapton CD that I just got, is it still in my computer’s CD drive, or was it that other CD? I should check it when I get home, because…
SHUT UP! I’m right here, right now. Nothing else exists. Not lunch that I’m going to get in an hour, at that place… The Rattlesnake Bar? Maybe I’ll try the fish tacos this time…
When I told that to the class, they all laughed. They knew exactly what I was talking about.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who had to get a license under an fake name (over $1000 in unpaid parking tickets in 1960 dollars) and tried to fake not knowing how to use a clutch. He actually tried to practice making the car jerk, but to no avail. After 10 feet, the examiner said, “You’ve driven before” and passed him forthwith. Simpler times! But my point is that once you know how to use the clutch, it is impossible to unlearn it.
I recently bought a bicycle despite never really learning how to ride one as a kid. I get the mechanics of it, but some part of my brain that wants me to have control at all times won’t let me put both feet on the pedals.
“Ok, one foot is on…get it rolling…get the other foot up…gah, no wait, put it down or you’ll keel over and fall! Alright, try again…ah, the bike is moving of it’s own accord and I can’t control it, make it stop before I roll into traffic!” It’s infuriating and embarrassing not to be able to ride at my age, but I can’t seem to let go of the idea that terrible things will happen if my feet aren’t planted on the ground.
Stauderhorse, that’s like my father and snorkelling. I think that some part of his brain thinks that if he puts both legs up to the surface of the water, he’s going to “fall” to the ocean floor.
On the rare occasions when I go snorkeling, it definitely takes a while for me to get used to it every time. My brain yells at me, “You idiot! You can’t breathe – your whole frigging HEAD is under water!” So I spend the first ten minutes or so taking spastic gulps of air.
