OK, I’m ready to admit it publicly – I never have heard the one about the traveling salesman and the farmer’s daughter.
- Anybody know when and how this became the archetypical “dirty joke”?
- Want to share any particularly funny versions?
cj
It’s probably been around since ancient Rome in one form or another.
Generic plot: stranger is given shelter for night, but has to share accomodations with family’s nubile young daughter. Supposed safeguard against inpropriety is put into place. Safeguard is breached and impropriety takes place. Hasty cover up of safeguard breach is partially successful. Father of family makes silly comment based on misapprehension of circumstances.
I believe in the modern version, a “wall of eggs” that were subsequently glued back together without contents is the main plot device.
While the first question is possibly a GQ, the answer is probably going to be speculative. And the second question is definitely not GQ.
All in all, I think this thread is better suited for MPSIMS.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Two men stop at a farmhouse after their car breaks down. The farmer tells them there is a mechanic in town, but they’ll have to wait until morning, as it’s getting late. The farmer tells them “you may stay here tonight, but stay away from my daughter.” Having extremely good hearing, the farmer scatters popcorn around his daughters room with the idea that if either of the men enter, they will step on the popcorn and make noise.
So the first guy wakes up in the middle of the night feeling horny. He goes to the farmers daughters room, but stops when he sees the popcorn all over the floor. Thinking for a minute, he then pisses all over the popcorn, making it soggy enough that it won’t make any noise when he steps on it. He is then able to enter the room and has his way with the girl.
After he goes back to his room and falls asleep, the second man wakes up feeling horny. He goes into the farmers daughters room and has his way with her.
The next day, after their car is repaired and they are on their way, the men start talking about the farmers daughter.
“Man, she was hot!” says the first man.
“Yeah, and that buttered popcorn was pretty good too!” says the second man.
A salesman’s car breaks down near a farmhouse. He knocks on the door and explains the situation to the burly, middle-aged farmer. “Sure, you can stay the night,” the farmer says, scratching at his unkempt beard. “But there’s one condition: you’ll have to sleep in the same room as my teenage sons.”
“Whoa,” says the salesman. “I’m caught in the wrong joke!”
Doesn’t sound out of the ordinary to me… Teenage boys, single horny male…
OK! I dont get it!?!?
If you memorized it and told it in exactly this form, this could be the funniest version ever.
A salesman’s car breaks down near a dairy cattle farm. The farmer’s daughter is very attractive and tells the salesman that she wants to sleep with him but her father is extremely strict and the only way to do it is for him to slip his dick into a mysterious hole in the wall at a certain hour. He is eager to comply and gets the best blow job of his life but she doesn’t seem to want to let go.
The next morning, the farmer finds the salesman hanging on desperately to the wall and the farmer wants to know why. The salesman admits what he has done but he is stuck and doesn’t know why. The farmer laughs and admits that is what her daughter does to all of his kind. On the other side of the wall is a milking machine and it won’t stop until it gets twenty gallons worth.
Mr. Show Season 1, Episode 2 does a musical re-enactment of this version, including an anthropomorphized milking machine lamenting “why can’t people keep their willies out of holes?”
I know this is pretty subjuective, but I think of the archetypical dirty joke to be “Thursday’s your turn in the barrel.”
I think the Farmer’s daughter joke is a lot like the chicken crossing the road in that there are a lot of variations on a simple theme.
A salesman’s car breaks down near a farmhouse. He knocks on the door and explains the situation to the farmer. “Sure, you can stay the night,” the farmer says. “But there’s one condition: you’ll have to sleep in the same room as my young son.”
“No problem”, says the salesman.
Eventually, thay all go to bed and the salesman walks in the bedroom and finds the son on his knees by the bed.
‘He’s making his prayer’ thinks the salesman, ‘I’ll pretend to do the same’.
He knees down on the other side of the bed in a prone position. To which the young lad looks up smiling and says,
“Mom gonna be mad at you in the morning cuz the pissing pot is on this side”
My dad shared this version with me that he remembered kids telling in the early sixties:
Late one night, a stranded stranger asks to stay the night at a farmer’s house. The farmer says, “fine, but don’t go trying to smooch my daughter.”
The man tosses and turns for awhile, then gets up and creeps to the daughter’s bedroom. He opens the door, makes his way to her in the darkness, and makes out with her. He then creeps back to his room and sleeps.
The next morning at breakfast, the farmer confronts the stranger. “Look,” he says “I know you were kissing my daughter last night. Don’t try to lie about it, just tell me the truth and that’ll be that.”
“Yeah,” says the stranger. “I snuck in and kissed her.”
“That all?”
“Yes,” the stranger says. “Honestly I was a little surprised that she was eating in bed - she had a mouthful of rice.”
“Oh, that wasn’t rice, those’d be maggots. She’s been dead for two weeks.”
Ah, kids.
So the travelling salesman knocks on the farmhouse door and begs lodgings, and the farmer says “We ain’t got much room, I can put you in with baby or you can have the hearthrug.” The salesman figures it’s going to be no fun sleeping next to a stinky diaper and being interrupted every two hours by someone wanting a bottle, so he opts for the hearthrug where at least he’ll be warm.
In the morning he wakes stiff, sore and bleary-eyed to find a gorgeous little 19yo blonde in a tiny nightie coming through to get breakfast. “Hi!” she says. “I’m Baby. Who’re you?” “Me?” says the salesman. “I’m the idiot who slept on the hearthrug!” :smack:
And then there was the traveling sales*woman *who needed a room for the night. The farmer had two strapping young sons, and after a while, things started to get – interesting. “We can all have a good time,” she told the lads, handing them a couple of condoms, “but you need to use these. I don’t want to get pregnant.” And a good time was had by all.
About a week later, the fellows are out tending to their chores, and one says to the other, “Hey, do you really care if that lady gets pregnant?” “Nah,” says his brother. “Not really.” “Good,” says number one son. “Then we can take these things off now?”
:smack: Until this moment, every time I’ve heard that phrase I immediately associated it with the grotesque execution method of being rolled downhill in a spiked barrel. I just realize now that it’s a reference to that silly joke.