Right now my life feels rather static. If my current plans don’t work out, I am sorely tempted to move away and just kind of wing it as far as job/housing goes. I suppose this sounds rather stupid and impulsive. But I kind of feel like I spent so many years worrying about making the wrong choices and putting myself in unnecessary hardship, it kind of narrowed my own willingness to take risks. I look and see people more independent than I am, and realize that much of the time it isn’t that they make more money/are better with it, or are luckier even, but rather that they aren’t as afraid of being in a situation where the near future is an unkown. Oddly enough, for someone so scared of change oftentimes making impulsive decisions yield very satisfying changes- I try things I never attempted before, or find out I am much better at something than I previously realized. So I am really thinking about making some big changes in my life.
I’ve done things like drop out of my PhD… it’s not something I did on a whim, I spent several months trying to salvage a pretty untenable situation, but still it’s not something I’d been planning on doing.
The first time my parents heard I’d done anything grad-school-abroad related was when I got the phone call from one of the places I’d applied to, asking whether I was “still interested” (cha bet!). Again, it’s not anything I did on a whim; finding the information, taking my GRE and TOEFL, filling in the paperwork etc took about a year total. But it isn’t something I’d been planning on doing.
Moving out of Mom’s a few months after Dad’s death, being on a temp contract, with no savings.
Those are the biggest three things I can think of that basically “I hadn’t even considered, and then something happened and there I was, doing it”. All three were definitely for the best.
I picked up and moved from Chicago to Colorado with no job, a crappy car, and a toddler. I was there for a year and then came back to where the jobs are. I think everyone should do it at least once.
Got sober on March 4, 1991. Been clean and sober ever since.
Pretty damn drastic change for a daily-drinking, never-wanted-to-quit alcoholic and drug addict…
Worked out very well. 
Last year, about a month after graduating college, I moved to Florida all by myself. For no particular reason, other than I was sick of the cold weather. I wanted a change, and I figured there was no better time than right then. The only family I had down here was my uncle, who was nice enough to let me stay with him until I found a place of my own. I found a job after a month, got an apartment two months after that. My very first apartment! 650 square feet of absolute freedom!
I left behind my very, very close-knit (albeit small) family, and a larger but just as close group of friends. It’s working out very well - I’ve met some nice people, my job is tolerable, and I absolutely adore living on my own. I miss my friends and family, and they miss me, but I have been up to visit twice so far, with two more planned for this year.
Sometimes I think my life is boring compared to what it used to be, but so what? I will always have great memories of fun times past, and I’m still young, so it will happen again. For now I am enjoying spending time with me.
We are probably around the same age. Last July, I moved from WV to Boston, degreeless and poor. I had been thinking of doing it for about 6 months, frightened out of my mind, until one weekend I had some extra cash and I bought a moving truck and snagged a place off craigslist, all in about 6 or so hours. Spontaneous?
Next morning I woke up and drove the 475 miles it took to get here. With only $100 i immediately began dabbling in painting places, all while taking job interviews on my lunch breaks. At first I was rather miserable and lonely, but it was better than feeling like I was missing out on something like I used to feel.
If you move, just make sure the place can accomodate what you’re most interested in, otherwise what’s the point. If you need help, there is a great Livejournal community called Travel Advisory with people there excited to help with whatever city you may be interested in.
It’s not a noble story like ditching alcoholism, but all in all, my little experience turned out far better than I ever expected.
make a move
I’ve made a number, both kind of spontaneous and seriously spontaneous. Be forewarned: spontaneity without a reasonably decent plan opens you up for some serious heartburn. You can get past it, but it can take some time.
I guess the most spontaneous was leaving an environmental consulting job in Chicago to return to Houston, after four years away. My wife and I both quit our jobs, took our two children, and moved. I got a job fairly soon with another consulting outfit, which I absolutely hated (and they hated me). It took her several months to get a job, and shortly after that, I was fired. For which I’m eternally grateful, BTW.
Anyway, I did a couple of other crappy jobs for a couple of years to try to make ends meet. Finally I decided I’d just stop working and take a year off to try to learn how to become a computer guy. After the year was over, through an instructer at the community college, I got hired as a temp doing support work for the city. Then I got my present job, which I’ve had for almost 10 years now, and am doing quite well.
It might sound like I had some serious balls, but in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I had some resources (aside from my wife) owing to both of my parents dying and leaving me some money. So I was never dead broke.
Also, there were several years of severe hand wringing, and what-the-hell-am-I going-to-do-now?, and I’m-never-going-to-get-anywhere. For a couple of years I drank way the hell too much. 1992 - 1994 was very much a lost weekend.
So, yeah, I did it, and it worked out better than I could have imagined. But be forewarned that, when things aren’t going well, you can’t necessarily see your way out, and it can get very unpleasant.
I was 19 and had just flunked out of college. Through a weird convoluted string of aquaintences, I had the opportunity to move to Germany to become a nanny/farm hand. I had never been to Germany, didn’t know anyone there, didn’t speak the language, and had no money…so I went. I had a one-way ticket (which was asinine but oh well), a backpack, $50, and a picture of this family that I was, ostensibly, going to work for.
I didn’t come home for two years and when I did, I was an adult.
Wow, that’s a crazy story.
What was it like while working for the family and not knowing the language? Do you have any cool experiences you could share about your two years over there?
Well, that sounds rather reassuring! It sounds like a lot of people were in a similar situation as I was, and if they were resourceful enough to hack it, I think I am.
Nothing noble about it- pure self-preservation (plus I’m sure the rest of the world appreciated it too!).
I moved to Oakland from Santa Cruz with just enough money to pay my first month’s rent. It worked out great- I love it here more than I could have ever imagined and after a couple months of temp work, I found a great job.
I went on a three-month trip to India with almost no notice. I just bought a plane ticket leaving in three weeks and went. Best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
There is really no fully safe way to make changes. If everyone waited until everything was guaranteed, nothing would ever happen.
I moved from California to Michigan without a job, didn’t know anyone, had never even been there. Had an apartment lined up, but that’s it. (So it wasn’t entirely spontaneous, but it was sort of on a whim.)
I was stuck in a rut, and I felt trapped in CA.
It was a good move. I ended up moving to Chicago (which I LOVE) a year later. Being 2000 miles away from my parents taught me how to be independent and self-reliant. It’s not always easy or fun, but it was worth it.
As far as the language goes, I watched a 3-year-old boy three or four days a week for the first few months I was there (a nephew of the family I lived with). He and I had many, many long drawn out conversations where I would practice my fledgling language skills. No pressure, no embarassment. It was great (until someone pointed out that I spoke like a three-year-old, at which point I had to extend my circle of speaking partners beyond toddlers).
The whole time was pretty incredible. I first moved there in August of '90 so the wall had been down less than a year. I lived about 40 miles from the old border so we had lots of Ossis coming through town, looking for work, buying tons of electronics and cars, etc. Plus I lived in a tiny little town (about 2000 people) with the eccentric town doctor who raised horses, goats, and Scottish Highland cattle and thought he was a 20th century cowboy. It was kind of like being a celebrity.
And I got gored by a bull. Good times.
It seems like I was in a similar position to where you are now. I was really burned out at my first job, and was really put off at the prospect of buying a place in the bay area. Add to all this, the need to distance myself from my family a bit.
So after taking some time off to search, I landed in San Diego - new job, new location, etc…
The excitement/change of a new job and new enviroment carried me for about a couple years. I threw myself at my new job, and got used to my new surroundings (not entirely new as I had gone to school down here). But after a couple years, I started to notice that the same things that I was unhappy about in my life which kind of prompted me to want to move were still around. I had just shoved them into the background for a bit.
So the lesson is to be sure that changing job and moving is really what might address the issues you’re dealing with. That is, you may change the scenery but bring all the same garbage with you. So moving and changing jobs may not be the solution unto itself - merely a way to change the scenery.
The move and job change may “distract” you for a while, and you may think you have found the solution. But be warned that after you settle in, you may find the same issues still need to be addressed.
This is a truth that most people have to find out for themselves. Sometimes it truly is the external that’s a problem; most often, though, it’s the combination of your external and your internal that creates the problem.
But as long as you’re not looking for a magic solution (“if I move to City X, I’ll be popular/happy/rich, etc.”), trying something new can be good. Over the course of a year or so, I decided to go to law school. That involved taking the tests, applying, quitting my job, and moving to an entirely new city. It was certainly difficult, but may have been the best decision I ever made, because it changed my life in so many ways, and for the better.
So do it!
My own story - I took a job over the phone in northern Manitoba, many many miles away from any friends and family, where I knew absolutely no one. I gave notice on my apartment, packed all I could fit in my car, and drove there. I worked at the job for six months, I think it was, hated it, left town with my boyfriend at the time, moved to Winnipeg, left the boyfriend, moved to Calgary with all my possessions in my car again, and I’ve been here ever since (fifteen years now).
I made mistakes and bad decisions along the way, but I learned from every one of them. Don’t get too far in debt, don’t get any chronic or fatal diseases, and don’t get anyone pregnant. The rest is just learning experiences.
I say go for it! Do it while you’re young and unencumbered. There’s a world of possibilities out there that you’ll never experience if you never take a chance.
Take a look at this film.
Synopsis:
October 1989 was a bad time to fall into a coma if you lived in East Germany – and this is precisely what happens to Alex’s mother, an activist for social progress and the improvement of everyday life in socialist East Germany. Alex has a big problem on his hands when she suddenly awakens eight months later. Her heart is so weak that any shock might kill her. And what could be more shocking than the fall of the Berlin Wall and the triumph of capitalism in her beloved country? To save his mother, Alex transforms the family apartment into an island of the past, where his mother is lovingly duped into believing that nothing has changed. What begins as a little white lie gets more and more out of hand as Alex’s mother, who feels better every day, wants to watch TV and even leaves her bed one day …
I met a guy on the internet, talked to him by phone for a few months, then bought a plane ticket and went to Baltimore to live with him. Mind you, if I’d gotten there and didn’t like him, there was nothing to stop me from getting right back on that plane and going home. But we’re doing great so far.
Had a crush on a girl and decided to go on a diet. Pure atkins! Nothing but meat and cheese until I’ve lost a few. I sticked to this for three months or so, and lost somewhere between 40-60 pounds.
Nothin’ to regret about being in shape and having energy…or being able to do a pull up