I was just thinking about at what point one decides to turn their life around for someone. So, if you’ve ever had to start a life together with a partner and moved somewhere new, tell me how it turned out? At what point in the relationship did you decide it was a good decision?
Yep. I met someone here on this board. I was living in Ohio, he was in LA, and now I’m in LA with him.
It’s turned out wonderfully.
We decided it was a good idea when we realized that I was interested in going back to school and I could do that here, while he was not looking to go back to school or change jobs.
ETA: I moved about 18 months after we first met online, about 16 months after we first met in person.
My SO and I met in Ohio and had been together three years. I knew he always wanted to live in LA so we took the opportunity and did it. It was something we did completely because he wanted to! That was 10 years ago, we’re still together, own a home, planning on getting married, etc.
For me it was helped by good timing - I was about to finish university, so it was the ideal time to make a move. I never had any doubts about whether it was a good decision or not. In fact, on reflection, I put very little thought into it!
When I joined the Navy in 1980, I knew my girlfriend wanted to live in Hawaii, so I planned my training trajectory to put me there as soon as I was ready to receive orders to a ship. And that was what happened. I got to Pearl Harbor in summer of '82, got engaged on New Year’s Eve, and we were married on Thanksgiving weekend of '83.
We moved onto the quarantine station in December, and into military housing in April '84.
We got married in 1981, in the beginning of the 1980s recession. After watching unemployment climb, eventually above 10%, we decided our “policy” was to move either separately or together any time we could collectively earn more. Our first move was 6 weeks after the wedding.
In total, we’ve moved (different state or country) 11 times. We’re still married so I guess it worked out.
I met my wife via random chat on ICQ in February 2000. We met in person about a month later. At the time, I was living in Towson, MD, working for a mutual fund company, and still learning to deal with becoming a widower a year before. She lived in Chillicothe, OH and still had twin sons living with her.
During the summer of 2000, it became obvious to us that we wanted to make a life together, and that I was in a better position to move. I found a job in Ohio and moved here in November of 2000. We got married on Christmas Eve 2000 and are still happily married.
Moving from the Baltimore area to a small city in southern Ohio was quite a jolt, and integrating myself into the life she already had was not always easy. Overall, I’d say it has worked out quite well. We are thinking of relocating in a few years when I retire, but I wouldn’t mind staying right where we are.
In the late 70s I was in a weird relationship with a girl who broke things of with her fiancé to be with me. Her mom was outraged and despised me (who could blame her?).
An opportunity to leave PA for CA came up and I hoped a Greyhound bus headed west. I had a job and living arrangements lined up.
A month later she called me, telling me all was straightened out with her family and I should returned. She Western Unioned me cash for a plane ticket home. After returning I discovered she lied about her family as a ruse to cause my return. We broke up a week later. She eventually married her fiancé.
I moved from the Midwest back to California so I could be with the love of my life from college, and things were great for a year. Then my new job said “Hey, we’re moving your job to Minnesota!”, so here I am back in the Midwest for the past eight months (and the foreseeable future), and things are back to sucking again.
I met my second husband here in Illinois. Four weeks after our son was born, we moved from the NW suburbs of Chicago to Cape Girardeau, MO to be near his mom who lived in Bell City, MO. We moved back here with in six weeks. There was absolutely NO work. Never, ever again. For anyone.
Moved from Rhode Island to Southern Ontario, Canada to be with my girlfriend. I was a recent transplant to RI, so I didn’t have deep roots. Being 20 years old at the time didn’t hurt either, as job searches and housing are a lot simpler at that age. I was also already a Canadian citizen.
I made my decision after about 2 years of regular contact, and about 1 year of long distance relationship.
We lasted 9 years before she left me, and I stayed in Southern Ontario after the breakup as I really love the area, and I’ve grown a support group of good friends.
My bit of advice would be to evaluate the area you may be moving to with the same amount of effort that you’re evaluating your mate.
I met a girl in January, started dating her a month later, and two weeks later she moved in with me. 3 months later she got an internship 4 hours away. I took a lateral move with the same company to be with her. Two months later I proposed.
Our 12th anniversary is in a couple months.
My ex and I met in 2004 playing FFXI, a MMORPG, when we were both 27ish. He was in Ohio and I’m in Los Angeles.
We maintained an LDR for three years, at which point he packed up and moved in with me. He was struggling on his own there; the hope was that in addition to us being together, by living with me he would have a fresh opportunity to save money, go to school, buy a car, and various other things.
That optimism was as good as it got. We lasted only two years after that. He never did turn things around here – instead of making a new life here, he brought his old one with him, and all the bad habits and consequences that came with it. Almost took me down with him.
That was five years ago. I’m engaged, and will be married in December. I don’t know what my ex is up to. After the breakup, he couldn’t afford Los Angeles prices on his own, so he moved back in with his parents in Ohio. He said our breakup was the kick in the butt he needed to really get serious about his future. I do hope that is what happened, but nothing ever was enough to get him started before, so I am skeptical that this did the trick. I want to be wrong.
There is a pattern here. 
I noticed! 
I’m so glad you and Asimovian are doing well.
Followed my husband from the city to his new job in the middle of nowhere. He thrived in the isolation. I filed for divorce.
The first time was in 1998. I was newly divorced and met this guy who lived near Harrisburg, PA. I moved in with him, we got married, and that lasted a whole four years.
The second time was in 2002. I was newly divorced and met this guy who lived near Harrisburg, PA. We got married, I moved in with him, and we just celebrated our 12th anniversary.
I dated a girl for a summer when I was 13/14 years old. I continued to have a crush on her all through high school, but it was not to be. She joined the Air Force after high school and ended up in California after her stint. When I was 25 we hooked back up on one of her visits home. I had just graduated college and decided to move from the east coast to California to be with her. It lasted four years and I moved back to the east coast. We parted amicably, and I’m glad I did it, but I no longer have a crush on her.
Almost. I quit my job and gave up the lease on my apartment, then she told me not to come. Turned out for the best in the long run.
I moved from the Chicago suburbs to Ithaca, NY over a year ago. I knew it was the right decision before I left. I wasn’t happy with the location, job, attitudes (political/religious), my singlehood, or the close proximity to my family. Moving to NY enabled me to get a fresh start in an area that’s far away from family and more aligned with my politics, religion, and career preferences. I’ve been living with a great guy ever since. We’re engaged now. I took a very small pay cut that was more than compensated for in my 1-year review. I don’t think it’s possible that things could have worked out better.
The **only **things I miss are food and shopping. Meijer doesn’t exist out here. There are no good plus-size shops (Lane Bryant, Torrid, Fashion Bug, etc) within a 45-minute drive, because it’s a small college town and most of the people here are skinny. There’s no italian beef, authentic Mexican, authentic Greek, hot dogs, White Castle, Dairy Queen, or decent fried chicken. However, the sushi is better and we have Wegmans, which somewhat makes up for the rest. 