Hey everyone, need some advice. This is going to be a long post, thanks for reading-
Quick Summary- My Girlfriend of 15 months wants me to move somewhere I don’t want to go for the rest of my life. I like her but relationship is a little rocky. Should I go/ What should my thought process be?
In April received an offer for my dream job. However, this job requires a decision on location that is somewhat permanent, once I build a book of business it is hard to move somewhere and start over. My girlfriend just graduated from college and is a nurse. I always wanted to move to this mid-size town in a rural area (rated best place to live in magazines) because it is beautiful and I have family there. This is my chance to go. At first my girlfriend was reluctant, she wanted to move to a larger city where she has the opportunity to work at top tier hospitals. After much discussion she agreed to come with me because the income opportunity for my job is really great and this is where I always wanted to live.
So in June I moved out west for 6 months of training. She was looking for a job in the area I was planning on relocating to and was planning to move there and wait for me to come. However, because she is awesome, she ended up getting a job at one of the best hospitals in the country in a city about 3 hours away from the area that I am going.
So now she wants me to change my location plans and come to the city where she got the job. The problem is that this move is a permanent decision for me. I have excellent opportunities in the area that I was going to go and not so much in the city she got the job in. I also do not particularly want to spend the rest of my life and/or raise a family in that city.
I’m considering doing it for her but I do have some reservations. Our relationship is somewhat rocky. Lots of times she will get mad at me for the smallest things and not talk to me for hours or even day or two at a time. Also I’m a pretty good boyfriend; I do really nice things for her. Take her on nice trips, dinners and events, nice texts, emails and everything. I’m never mean or judgmental. Literally the only times I get mad at her are when she gets mad at me for the small things (she made out with two guys shortly after we started dating and I said how hurt I was but I never went off on her or anything- I’m pretty patient). But even with all of this she will often get sulky saying that I don’t care about her or love her. Also, for some reason she is jealous of my relationship with my mother. I talk to my mom 2-3 times a week and generally get her advice on larger life decisions. My girlfriend thinks that this is weird and that I’m too close to my mom. Its almost to the point where I’m scared to talk about my mom in front of her.
A few weeks ago my girlfriend sent me an email talking about my mom and my impending relocation. She said that the relationship with my mom needs to change. Also that she does not want to do Long Distance Relationship and that she will not give up her job in a few years to move to the city where I want to go. If I don’t move to where she is then our relationship won’t continue.
I really love her a lot and enjoy spending as much time as I can with her. However I don’t know if I want to move somewhere for the rest of my life based on the relationship we have now. It might be age and that we both have growing up to do- I’m 26 she is 23.
I was hoping to get some opinions or some suggestions on different ways to go thinking about it. If you have any questions just ask. Thanks.