I watched The Good Mother with Liam Neeson and Diane Keaton on video the other night. Keaton, a divorced mother, is dating artist Neeson. So, in this open relationship what happens is Keaton’s little girl (6 yrs ?) at some point catches Neeson coming out of the shower and seeing his penis asks if she can touch it which he say sure go ahead. The result is a court case yada-yada.
Well parents (well anybody for that matter), as the father of a 10 month old girl, I watched with interest bouncing my little girl up and down and thinking hmmmmm…what if I get the same question? My feeling is that I would probably go ‘no, that’s daddy’s’.
I do have a gut feeling that says go ahead and touch it and get it out of your system, but my wife is also for the former (but she says she would say 'no, that’s mommy’s).
Please comment on the above, however here is what I’m really dwelling on. I sleep and run around the house in the nude a lot. I’m sure you could have gone all day without that imagery. And, when I was a kid I was sure that if my parents took their clothes off they’d be the spitten image of Ken and Barbie as I never saw or imagined them naked. I’ve been thinking by the time she’s 2, I ought to start shopping for some pajamas. At the same time I don’t want her to have the same feelings I had about nudity as a child. At 8 or 9 years I probably would have gone into shock at the site of my parents in the nude.
I think the difference between you and your wife and the situation depicted in the movie is that while the child in your situation would be YOUR child, the child in the movie was not Neeson’s child. I think that’s the distinction that sorta makes it a big deal. I did have the same ideas about nudity as you when I was a kid, I think. I remember having to wake up my mom because I’d missed the bus once and being shocked to see, as she disgustedly shrugged into her bra, that her breasts were not the perfect globes you’d expect from looking at your friend’s dad’s girlie mags at slumber parties. Rather, they were sort of long and pendulous, only taking on an expected “breast-like” shape when gathered up into a bra. Also, my dad came in the bathroom to pee once while I was brushing by teeth (maybe age 6 or so?) and I snuck a peek. I don’t remember being scarred or confused by either experience. I remember thinking “Ewww, gross!” probably, haha. I don’t have any kids so I really don’t know how I’d react to a similar situation.
I was born in 1967, so I was a little kid in the very early 70’s. My dad walked around the house naked all the time and my mom didn’t have a problem getting dressed in front of me. It wasn’t a big deal. When you’re little, it’s like, nothing’s a big deal if it’s what you’re used to.
I have kids of my own now. While we don’t parade around the house naked they have both seen me when I’m getting dressed. I calmly ask them for privacy and it’s not a big deal.
I would definitely draw the line at touching genitals, however. I think it’s important to teach boundaries, and as paranoid as it sounds, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with whatever repercussions might come of my child divulging to her friends/teachers “Daddy let me touch his penis.”
I think you’re smarter than a dumb slug. - Christopher A. Evans
I’ve seen both my parents naked, and they’ve never really cared much about walking around naked. My sister has no problem being nude in front of me, either. I am the modest one of the household.
I never touched my father (or mother, for that matter), nor asked to. I do remember walking out to the bus stop one day in kindergarten, but stopping to ask my mother what “that thing dad has” was called (I knew about it, just not the name), and my mother telling me but instructing me not to use the word “penis” at school. I just couldn’t figure out what was so bad about it…
“Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past.” --1984
No nudity, just undies. (Which makes me think about CAPalert and how they ding a movie for featuring “adult underwear.” What kid hasn’t seen “adult underwear”? Those Capalert people probably sleep in their robes.)
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
My mom was surprisingly non-prudish, considering how conservative she was/is
in other ways. She didn’t walk around the house naked, but she didn’t close her bedroom door when dressing, either. I remember not thinking anything of it till about the age of 8 or 9 (I was born in '59).
At that point, it kind of grossed me out to get a glimpse. Thanks for reviving that unpleasant memory!
My wife and I love the hot springs (onsen) in Japan and always choose the mixed onsens over the segregated ones as we simply like to be together. I always sneak in a little sake and soak away all my troubles. Those hot springs are a dying breed though as Japan is becoming what some people here call ‘more Americanized’. I always tell them they must have us confused with the British. A few of the segregated hot springs offer smaller ‘family baths’ but they really are small and you miss out on the very cool and often very charming, rustic larger baths. We will always opt for these until Kai decides by herself to ditch her parents and head off to the womens bath by herself.
At home, at least, I suppose I will act on my own sense of propriety as I will probably start to feel awkward long before Kai does.
I saw my parents naked on very rare occasions, and only during my childhood–no later than about 1958, when I was 9. My father’s appearance–other than that he was an adult and overweight, was of course no different from my own; I probably look more now like he did then, except I’m 6’2" and he was 5’10". I last saw other males naked in my senior year at high school when showering after P.E. And after seeing my mother naked a time or two in the fifties, in my childhood, I never saw a nude woman again until 1986–nearly 30 years later.
More seriously–and this may be more appropriate for the topic “Incest–The Straight Dope” in General Questions, I once had a yard customer who let her son see her nearly naked–outside in the front yard where people on the street could see her! And he was about 20, and had a couple of friends with him! She was wearing panties, a nightie (very sheer), and slippers. It made me wonder just what went on * inside * their house!
My parents were divorced so with just my sister and I around with my mom, nudity wasn’t an issue. My dad and stepmother were pretty free and easy when it came to nudity too. He’d leave the bathroom door open, as she would, and it was never an issue. My sister and I always had privacy if we requested it and he never did anything could ever be construed as improper in his behavior towards us. He and my stepmom just felt that the human body was beautiful and nudity was no big thing. Sis and I and stepmom would go skinnydipping all the time together when we went camping.
I’ve seen my mother (and heck, both of my sisters) naked countless times. It wasn’t like anyone waltzed around in the buff; all of these instances were when we were dressing, coming in or out of the shower, etc. (My mom still likes to share fitting rooms, even if I’m the only one trying on clothes and she’s observing. That’s a little weird for me.)
Dad…well, I walked in on him peeing once when I was very small. Then, a couple of years ago, he bent down and was arranging gifts under the Christmas tree, and his scrotum popped out of his circa 1974 too-small boxers. He didn’t even notice until I said, “Uh, Dad…I appreciate the anatomy lesson, but I’m not a nursing student.”
Never did see a man naked until my current boyfriend. I’m a late bloomer that way.
“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!”
“English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.”
Now, seeing my grandparents naked, that was a different story! I was out on a boat fishing with my granparents when I was in college. I look down, and hello, Grandpa’s nut sack is hanging out of his shorts!!! Yowza. That’ll scar a gal for life, that will. :o
“It’s not burnt. It’s Cajun!” - Christopher A. Evans
Not the momma or the poppa for that matter. The person that floored me was the old lady naked from the bloomers up. She gave out Halloween candy like that. I was about six at the time.
I’d like to uncover this old post from 1999. I know of one kid that visits nude resorts with his family a lot so he has seen his parents many times…as for me I avoid it at all costs because it would be hard to look at my mom as mom…I don’t know it would just be to weird since I didn’t grow up that way, as for seeing my dad that is not such a big deal when I was between 10 and 12 though I would not care about seeing my dad in the nude after a shower but as for him seeing me I avoided it at all costs. When I was a really little fella my mom says I got in trouble at preschool for getting in a discussion that went something like this…“My dad’s penis is bigger than your dad’s penis.”
Saw my parents a few times in summers from [earliest memory] probably 1964 until probably 74. Nude beaches in southern france and a couple clothing optional thermae in Germany. Not that big a deal, i really don’t remember being particularly curious as everybody else was pretty much all hanging out.
We pretty much wear clothing of differing sorts around the house as mrAru and I tend to have roomies in the spare bedroom.
I’ve seen both of my parents naked. My dad shaves in the nude and he was always a bit shy about it, but it’s just a body, and there’s nothing wrong with a body, so it didn’t really matter.
We also were very open door about bedrooms and bathrooms, so you’re bound to walk in on somone naked once in a while, and my mom and I would change in front of each other with no qualms.
Seeing my mom naked is part of the reason that I didn’t have a lot of body issues growing up. She’s a bigger lady, and her boobs are definitely not perky, so I knew that “real” women (not porn stars) don’t have perfect breasts. That helped a lot.
No touching, though. Your body is yours and no one should touch it without permission.
As for now, we spend a lot of time naked. It’s just the two of us, though.
Growing up I often saw my parents naked. I really didn’t think anything of it at the time and still don’t. Both my kids have seen me naked and I them (post puberty). My family has never really had a issue with nudity, we don’t flaunt it but we’re certainly not overly modest either.
My family was always pretty conservative about nudity. Closed doors, not changing in front of others, that sort of thing. So it was a bit of a shock when I first saw my mom naked (I was breastfed, but I don’t remember that
I woke up to screaming one morning and ran into the kitchen to see my mom totally nude, jumping up and down on her nightie. :eek: Body parts were flying everywhere. Apparently the gas stove had caught the flannel on fire and mom had quickly ripped off the flaming garment and stomped the flames out. I remember covering my eyes and saying “Stop, drop and roll DAMMIT!!”
I never really did, but one time my sister saw them naked because she walked in on them while they were having sex.
What for her was a two second shot in the eyeballs became for me a 2 hour assault on the ears as she described it in vivid detail, down to every freckle.
