Aaahhh! Zombie!
Darn you, Binarydrone!
Don’t shit yourself dude.
I’ve had pancreatitis, and my gal bladder removed, nuff said 
(Immodium is my friend)
Man, this thread was started in 2001? It seems like it was just a year or so ago. I’ve been here too long.
The OP could have been …
You ever drink lots of beer over long periods of time?
Ah, the misty toilet-water memories…
This was one of the first threads I ever read on the Dope.
And now, after all these months of reading threads and confessions of the most personal nature imaginable, I can finally feel safe enough admit it. Yes, it happened to me, but just once, thank you!
Let’s just say you shouldn’t eat a big bowl of oatmeal and then go for a two mile walk on the beach unless you want to hobble the last mile of the return trip home with a mushy brown cucumber between your ass cheeks.
The worst part isn’t cleaning up yourself, either. It’s dealing with the mess in your clothes. I myself decided it was way too much hassle, which led to the decision that that particular pair of undies and shorts was disposable. Into the trash they went!
Man, why are people always bringin’ up old shit?
Thanks for the laugh!
-Tcat
Yes, it has happened–but it wasn’t my fault!
Went to Wisconsin Dells for a winter weekend getaway at an indoor waterpark. Went to brunch, off-season brunch, not much food rotation. Had lots of eggs. Methinks some of the eggs were bad.
Later, we’re lying on the bed and I’m feeling reallll bad. Threw up, and then again, and then again. Oh yah, food poisoning. Went to bed.
Nighttime: About 3am, had to go throw up again. Went in, and started to do it again…meanwhile, the diarhea hits with a vengeance. Couldn’t keep it in, didn’t really care at that time.
My most humbling experience: So here it comes…I couldn’t stop it if I tried. Out of the mouth, and to add insult to injury it starts evacuating from the ass. Both ends at the same time. Couldn’t stop either one, just kneeled there, wondering what I did wrong in a previous life.
aftermath: So I finally finish up on both ends. wash the mouth out. Take a look at the underpants…they’re salvageable. Try washing them, nope, forget it. It ain’t worth it. Hide them from the gf(now ex-gf) in the bottom of the trashcan.
She asked later what happened to my underpants. I said ‘you don’t want to know’. She asked again, I repeated.
Or …
Ever sneeze after drinking a quart of orange juice?
It’s the surprise factor that’s so horrific in these experiences. Defecation urges should always come with 20-minute warning signals.
Funniest Line Ever
I must say, I REALLY am GROWING OLD:rolleyes:
Today was the second time I"ve ‘lightly’ crapped my pants within a 3 month period.
What I THOUGHT was going to be expulsion of flatus, turned out to be a little more than that…I won’t go into details, as I don’t want to sicken anyone.
Fortunately, everything, cleaned up nicely.
I’m just wondering why this has happened so frequently as of late.
The last time I remember ANYTHING like this happening, was when I was a little kid, playing in the backyard, and I guess I got too busy playing, and filled my drawers…
I remember having to tell my Mom about it, and how embarrassed I was.
I guess those 'incontinent ’ supplies will be coming in handy.
So far, I haven’t ‘peed’ myself, but at 56, it should be happening any time now.
I *used [I to be house broken, as my mother “Collie” did an excellent job training me. I don’t know what happened. Just getting old I expect.
Dilingerdobie
I don’t know how many of you guys here are regular work-out fans but is anyone out there familiar with a pre-workout product called “N.O.-Explode”?
If you are familiar with it, I need not say anything more. If your not, I’ll put it this way…It’s not just your energy that’s going to be “exploding”
I’ve never dumped a full load or a solid turd, but as someone with IBS I’ve mistaken a blurt of liquid/muscus-y shit for a fart, many times. No shame here and I don’t think it’s funny, either. No big deal.
I haven’t but I did want to say I got a chuckle out of the OP and the username combo.
this is the turd that wouldn’t die.
As child:
Second Grade. 7 years old. Became aware of the impending event, asked for the appropriate permission, walked down the hall, entering the stall when I ran out of time. Dropped my drawers, wiped off as best I could with those ridiculous little one-at-a-time squares of budget toilet paper, went back to class hoping for the best. Within five minutes the kid in front of me (who shall remain nameless)* raised his hand and said “It smells like somebody went to the bathroom.”
Sister Dominica asked who dunnit, I got up, said “it just came out”, walked back to the bathroom, and waited in the stall. THANK GOD I was too young to be embarrassed. A quick visit from the nun to appraise the situation, and a little while later my mom was there to take me home and hose me off.
As an adult:
Never, but I once went through a few years suffering with irritable bowel syndrome, and had two or three VERY close calls.
- Ernie Schneider (who I remained friends with all the way through High School. I sometimes referred to him as the fink who turned me in for shitting my pants.)
Joe
We need a new thread for this topic. This one is 10 years old.