Ever "spoken now" and not "held your peace" at a wedding?

In My Humble Opinion
21

*Reverend: If anyone knows why these two should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

ImSoForlorn: Me! I do! She can’t marry this man because… I love her!

Bride: ImSoForlorn! I thought you’d never ask! I knew that getting engaged, having a wedding shower, reserving this chapel, reserving the banquet hall, paying for our relatives to come in from across the country, arranging a honeymoon and moving in with Ex-Groom would get you to work up your courage to tell me how you really feel about me. Thank God we invited you to the wedding! Well, what are you waiting for? Get on up here, you scamp!

Ex-Groom: [Slides hands into pockets, shrugs and walks off] Aww shucks!

[ImSoForlorn takes his place beside bride]

[Groomsmen and bridesmaids trade looks amongst themselves, shrug and hold their positions]

Reverend: Bride, do you take… uh, what’s your name?

ImSoForlorn: ImSoForlorn.

Reverend: Well, not anymore you’re not… to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Bride: I Do I Do I DO!

Reverend: ImSoForlorn, do you take Bride to be your lawfully wedded wife?

ImSoForlorn: You BET’cha!

Reverend: If anyone knows why these two should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

[None of the assembly can think of a single reason.]

Reverend: I now pronounce you man and wife.

[Guests all smile, sigh and cock heads in unison, Bride’s mother wipes a tear from her eye.]

Bride’s Precocious lil’ Brother in Front Row: I guess Ex-Groom will be the one holding his piece for a while!

[Assembly gasp at child’s statement, but allow themselves to laugh (Out of the mouths of babes…)]*

Hm. Sounds like a good idea to me. Go for it!

22

I was hoping he was joking…

23

If you pull that stunt at this girl’s wedding you’re gonna deserve the ass kicking you’ll surely get.

Why even tell her? If she wanted you, she’d be with you. She’s marrying another guy because she wants to. You’re gonna bust up her wedding and tell her you love her: and then what? Is she supposed to ride off with you on your Harley and live happily ever after? What are you wanting to accomplish? I’m sensing a need for drama and attention more than actual love here. Why do you need an audience before you tell her? Why not just do it tonight and be done with it?

You probably wouldn’t even WANT her if she wasn’t about to get married, boyfriends and girlfriends alike have a tendency to come out of the woodwork when an ex gets engaged.

You blew your shot at her. Move on and let her be happy and don’t ruin her wedding day.

24

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

25

As someone who has been in a situation similar to this, I feel I can talk about this and have half of a clue what I am talking about.

If you have something to say, say it way before the wedding day. Hell, even the day before the wedding might work. Waiting til the wedding is a Bad Bad idea. Sure in the movies it all comes out ok, but in real life, There tends to be alot of hurt feelings. Lots of punches. Embarrased bridal party members and guests.

26

I don’t include it in the wedding ceremonies that I perform, but last month somebody ‘spoke now’ anyway.

I had just recited the vows for the groom and he answered “I do” when, in a quiet but very audible voice, one of his friends in the back said “yeah, right.”

Neither the bride nor the groom reacted to it, so I just went on ahead with the ceremony.

27

Would it be all right to ask for details?

28

My situation is kind of different, but I can remember considering it at my dad’s wedding. I can’t tell you how close I was, in my six year-old mind, to speaking up when my dad got re-married. I wasn’t happy about the situation, and I can still remember thinking, “I should say something.” Looking back on it, I can’t even imagine what the result would have been had I said something. I mean can you hold a six year-old responsible for doing something like that? Would you be able to be mad at them? Could you stay mad at them? How would things unfold? I’m happy I didn’t, if for no other reason than now I know what a commotion it would have caused.

29

Cowgirl, you should have.

ImSoForlorn, ignore HeyYou; the groom always says the vows first.

30

You know, for all the ragging and disapproving criticism he’s taken, I interpreted the OP’s “Got any advice for me for when I speak out, to stop the tragedy of a wedding so I can win the woman I love?” as, y’know, a joke…

I mean, really, who does this anymore?

31

Yell, “Not a virgin!!!” really loud. Then pretend to look around for who said it.

32

Lets just say it made for a miserable wedding day. It was the brides ex boyfriend, best friend in the whole wide world. The ex bf decided that he just HAD to let her know how he felt at that special moment. Now the bride didn’t know her ex still had feelings for her, so she had no clue that this could possibly happen. So at the special moment, ex bf speaks up. Bride looks confused for a moment and bursts into tears. Some of the guests laugh because they think its some kind of joke. And as for the groom, well Groom angry, Groom smash, as well as the grooms side of the party. If he would have told the bride the day before things might have been a little different. Whether the marriage would have continued, I don’t know. But if nothing else it would have been settled instead of leaving both parties with a “What if” for years to come.

My advice to anyone thinking about this. If there is someone you really love, tell them before the wedding. Tell them early. Don’t wait until its way too late. “What if” is a sucky way to live the rest of your life. If the other person is willing have a heart to heart with them. But don’t be surprised if they have moved on. And if they have moved on, don’t keep harrassing them!

33

And I might add it is a total blankety blank to have that hanging over your marriage. Especially if you are friends and hope to remain friends with the other person. IN my experience the other person’s spouse doesn’t like it very much, and tends to be paranoid about what the two of you might be up to.

34

gooti and I were married in October in an Episcopal church and we had the “speak now or forver hold you peace” line at the beginning of the service.

No one spoke then.

35

There is zero info in the original post and somebody has to ask so it might as well be me: Do you actually know this woman? Weddings are considered a good place to meet women, but not the bride. Very low class.

How long did you know her? Ever been out on a date? Details, details. Fill us in.

36

Practically living my entire life in a fantasy world, I did actually fantasize about the scene as it would play out, but in reality I would never actually do such a thing.

Anyways… if you really feel like giving me love advice:

The woman is my current girlfriend’s best friend. We’ve known each other for about a year and have hung out at parties and what not. I know a fair amount about her history and family, etc…

I realize that I am most likely not in love with her (although it feels like it); I am most likely obsessing over her because she represents the unobtainable, the woman that is something I can never have. You know, that whole marriage thing and all.

But really, I don’t know how to differentiate between “true love” and “temporary obsession”. If I can imagine living with this woman for the rest of my life, with a house and kids and her family and my family and getting old and fat together, what does that mean?

Anyways…

My current girlfriend and I have an “arrangement”, in the sense that we are playing the boyfriend/girlfriend roles for the next few months until she graduates, and then we’ll go our separate ways. So, I don’t really feel so remorseful for wanting to be with this other woman while I’m still in this relationship. Yes, we are technically boyfriend/girlfriend, and do bf/gf things like go on dates, have sex and oh yeah, live together.

However, this woman is getting married in June, so there’s really an insurmountable time barrier, in the sense that I can’t express my feelings towards this woman while I am still in the relationship with my current girlfriend. Basically, she’ll be married by the time my current girlfriend graduates and moves out, or just a short time after.

Also, the fact that she is my current girlfriend’s best friend means that my girlfriend will tell her or has told her anything “bad” about me. So, that certainly hinders my chances of a relationship with this other woman.

So yeah… I wasn’t really planning on stopping the wedding in such a fashion, although I certainly would like to pursue a relationship with this woman.

Well, I’ve taken this thread down a different street, now, haven’t I? :slight_smile:

37

Well now that you say it like that, Unless this woman has expressed some real interest in you, I would agree that you are living half in a fantasy world.

38

Yes for cryin’ out loud, tell us more … is she some woman whom you admire from afar (ie she has no idea who you are)? is she an ex … ?

39

I agree with your agreement… but who says I can’t turn fantasy into reality?

Oh wait, I guess that’s fantastical thinking too… d’oh! I’m so forlorn! :wink:

40

Well lets see. Have you talked at all to the other woman? Do you know if she is content in her realtionship? If you walked up to her right now and said “Don’t get married, I am in love with you!” What do you think her reaction would be?