Anybody here ever been in love with the bride or groom and spoken out when the priest says “Speak now, or forever hold your peace”? How did it go? Let’s hear some good and bad stories… Did you ever do it? Did somebody do it at your wedding?
Got any advice for me for when I speak out, to stop the tragedy of a wedding so I can win the woman I love? 
Drum on the window with both fists and shout “Elaine! Elaaaaaainnnne!”
I’ve never done it, but I’ll give you my advice, for what it’s worth - if you’re going to tell her that you love her, tell her now. Contrary to what the movies show you - unless maybe she’s completely miserable - the woman whom you love will most likely not be thrilled that you kept those feelings inside the whole time and waited to speak them until a ton of money and time had been spent on the wedding and you had the chance to embarrass her and yourself in front of both sets of families and friends. Even if she is completely miserable, telling her now will give her a chance to think that over and more gently make arrangements to end the relationship.
This is just my opinion, but if a male friend had spoken up at my wedding to say “you’re making a mistake, I love you”, I’d have been really pissed off. At the very least, it would have indicated to me that he didn’t have the courtesy to do it earlier. These “speak now” outbursts are usually spontaneous - the speaker can’t hold back the feelings any longer - and yours is clearly not.
I’ll echo Ferret Herder’s sentiments. I know if anyone does this at my wedding, I won’t run off into the sunset with them - instead, I’ll beat them over the head with the unity candle (not that I expect anyone to do this, but still…).
Is she in love with the person she’s marrying? Is she at all aware of your feelings? Does she share them? Does she know and it hasn’t swayed her feelings about marrying this other person?
You really need to think about this long and hard before doing anything. I would be devastated if someone did something like this on my wedding day.
Ava
Ditto above.
Slight hijack: Did your wedding ceremony actually include the “speak now” line? I’ll have been married three years in April, and our ceremony didn’t.
The “speak now or forever hold your peace” line is from medieval times, when women were essentially chattel. If someone had “property rights” to the bride, that was the time to assert them. Actual modern weddings virtually never include this. Modern TV shows usually do include it, and that’s the only time you’re likely to hear it.
Oh, Pish-posh…everyone knows that the “speak now, or forever hold your peace” part is to cue the Hero to the right moment to burst through a window or skylight and attack the Supervillain/would-be groom.
This is why heroes usually have outdoor weddings. No windows to break through.
The “speak now” line is for someone to object that the bride and groom can not lawfully wed – for example, that the groom is already married.
If you can’t stop the wedding with a “lawfull” reason, prepare to be set upon by the groomsmen. In the old days you’d be challenged to a duel. These days you’ll be beaten up and left in a dumpster.
My wife and I wrote our own ceremony (cobbled together from various sources; we got lots of compliments) and we certainly did not put this or anything like it into the script.
Keep in mind that weddings cost a boatload of money and take a hell of a lot of preparation. I say tell her now and forget the drama.
The line isn’t completely dead. From the 1928 Book of Common Prayer, still in use in many quarters: “If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.” From the 1979 version, the official, canon-law liturgy of the Episcopal Church today: “If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace.”
Although I’ve attended any number of Episcopal weddings and never once heard the line actually used.
The classic marriage-stopper in literature, I think, has to be when Mr. Rochester at the altar is revealed to have a crazy wife in the attic. They just don’t do weddings nowadays like they used to.
In order to stop a ceremony at that point you have to have a VALID reason…such as the bride & groom being siblings, already married, etc… “b’cuz I luv him/her” ain’t gonna cut it.
If you’d like her to realize what a terrible mistake she’s making and hook up with you instead, tell her immediately. If you’d like her to hate you forever and have her relatives beat you to a pulp, then by all means, wait until during the ceremony.
You don’t get your ass kicked by the relatives. You fend them off with one of the objects in the church, then lock em all in, then run off and climb on a bus. Didn’t anyone ever see Wayne’s World 2?
Yes, I know it was a parody of The Graduate. Shaddup.
just by the by, my local church not only says it during the ceremony, but in the three weeks (or thereabouts) running up to it as well, although without the ‘or forever hold your peace’ being then, as it is, unnecesary.
I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above comments.
However, what is everyone’s recommendation if you’re not the one in love with the bride, but knows that the bride/groom is in love with someone else?
To be fair, if I was stuck in the attic, I’d probably be crazy too.
The same – do your talking now, not at the ceremony. That’s not what “speak now or forever hold your piece” is for.
Or just butt out completely.
(Yes, the correct spelling is “piece.” Look it up!)
Then you do your best to talk that person out of marriage beforehand. You do not wait for the wedding ceremony.
This kind of happened to me once.
I nearly jumped up and yelled “He’s been trying to get me into bed all week!”
As it turns out I haven’t seen him since the wedding, so I guess it’s all good.