Now you can! Bored at work (you don’t expect me to earn my paycheck, do you?) I found this site:
I am now an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. I have no idea how legal it is in this state, but according to the emial I got, I can marry people, absolve sins, etc.
I’m all ready to test out my new ministerial position, anyone have anything to confess?
Wow! I am also an ordained minister of the ULC! I have been a minister for years, long before they even developed their internet site. They used to post recruitment ads in the Weekly World News. I even have my certificate somewhere.
You gonna enroll in any of the theology classes? 
And if I recall, you can’t perform the ministerial functions unless you take a certain amount of classes. Oh well.
MR
Actually … I am.
I was ordained in a Southern Baptist church about twenty-five years ago when I thought that was what I was gonna do with my life. I’ve only preached a couple of times, and have never used my credentials to perform marriages or anything, but there it is. Funny how life turns out.
I don’t think I’ll actually listen to anyone’s confessions or perform any marriages, I just thought it was kinda funny that a person can be ordained online without any regard for what religion you are or any kind of screening process.
Like I said before, I doubt the legality of any of this in the state of Missouri.
I was ordained about 5 years ago… I have the certificate hanging in my office: “Reverend Fat J Rush”.
We used it as a prop in one of our mock trial competitions that year… Then I married everybody in the courtroom. The judge didn’t really appreciate that, seeing how it was the finals round and he was an ACTUAL district judge.
Eutychus55, you sly dog! What other secrets are you hiding up your sleeve?
I always wanted to be a living Buddha. But I hear it’s a lot of work.
Hell of a lot easier than being a dead one.
Just FYI, a few months ago we had a nice go-around about the Universal Life Church and the power of ULC “ministers” to perform marriages in the thread You Too Can Be a Minister. The short answer is that in a number of states marriages solemnized by ULC “ministers” are not valid.
Having recently served as a bishop in the Mormon Church, I was surprised that there were no “official” hoops to jump through before I officiated at a wedding. I had a certificate from the church stating that I was, indeed, a bishop, so I suppose if anyone had questioned my legal authority I could prove that I was who I said I was. But the state simply did not intervene at all. I never did have to register or notify anyone that I was now going to start performing marriages.
I’m not actually complaining, mind you, but I was a little surprised. I suppose the law states that legal authority to marry is automatic for any legitimate clergyman (clergyperson? member of the clergy?). So once I was officially made a bishop the law took effect. The issue, I suppose, for the ULC is whether they are generally recognized as “legitimate” clergy, since, as is obvious from the OP and others here, they don’t have many expectations from those they “ordain”. This may be the basis for exceptions in states that don’t recognize ULC ministers as qualified to perform marriages.
I did read somewhere once (good cite, eh?) that the law actually gives legal standing to marriages performed by someone who wasn’t authorized to do so as long as the couple being married honestly thought he/she was, in fact, authorized. So, apparently, if you can convince someone you really are a preacher you can go ahead and perform the marriage.
I will add, finally, that in spite of what was said and done at the wedding ceremony, the state didn’t recognize the marriage unless the paperwork was filled out correctly and turned in. And the bride should sign using her maiden name, even though the signatures are obtained after the wedding.
I am already an ordained minister. Really irritates the evil Fundamentalist women in my office. Now who’s holier-than-thou, bitch? Oh, sorry. 
I’m pretty sure that was one of Cecil’s columns. Search for ship captain and marriage, or something like that, and it should come up. It’s something like, “Can ship captains perform legal marriages?”
Actually, I’ve been in theology grad school working towards becoming an ordained minister for some time. All I have left is a year long internship and getting through the church bureaucratic hurdles.
Now I’m trying to decide if I still want to be one…
I was in the ministry off & on for over three years. Never actually ordained, though-- I always viewed it as a formality, and since I don’t belong to a “denomination” (more of a loose association of churches with similar names and theology) I’ve never really had to answer for it. I’ve performed three marriages, and on each certificate I simply signed my name on the name field and the words “Minister of Christ” on the *title[i/] field. No one’s ever made an issue of my ordination, so I suppose all three of those marriages are legal.
I’d like to be an ordained minister, but only for one day. Then afterward, I’d be a former O.M. There’s nothing better than falling from grace and delving into that sweet oasis of mortal sin.
-if ordained, do I qualify for free parking (at weddings, funerals, etc.)?
-can I get a "clergy: sticker for my car?
-can I become a chaplain in the US armed forces?
-can I walk around in a collar and get free drinks?
I’m a Wiccan priest…
…but then again, we’ve got priesthood of all believers.
I’ll have to answer that with a big old fat “I don’t know.” I doubt any of it is legal, but it’s fun messing with my friends by offering to forgive their sins for $20. I was readin gthe email I got, and for $89, I can get the “Ministry in a Box” which will give me anything I need to become a productive minister in the ULC. It also said something about saint canonization, but I really didn’t read it that closely.
Actually, I am planning to become a Unitarian Universalist minister as my final career, when I’m about 65. Robert Fulghum is my hero.
Esprix