THREE WOMEN are engrossed in their magazines while waiting to be called in.
MALICE is setting up his next appointment with receptionist MIMI.
MIMI: Let’s see, six months is… How’s June 21 for you?
MALICE: Fine – No, wait. That’s my girlfriend’s birthday.
MIMI: How do you know you’ll be going out with her in six months?
MALICE: Oh, because we’ve been dating for 10 years.
MIMI: gasp 10 years?!
The Three Women drop their magazines.
WOMEN: BOOOOOOOOOO!
My second:
INT. A CALIFORNIA BEACHSIDE BAR - NIGHT
MALICE: …and each of these schooners is something like three beers… So let’s just have three each
RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE. Glasses begin to oscillate one the table. Lamps overhead begin swinging. A metal Foster’s Beer sign CRASHES to the floor. MRS. MALICE* looks around the room to see her man and FIFTY PATRONS are either oblivious or unconcerned.
MRS. MALICE: – Wait, is that a…
MALICE: Probably.
MRS. MALICE: Huh. You want Bass or the wheat beer they have on tap?
And no one else in the room acknowledges the 5.4 earthquake shaking the ground for 30 seconds. Very “L.A. Story.”
(* Within another year, the aforementioned long-suffering girlfriend of Story One became Mrs. Malice. Societal pressure was not a factor
Anyone got similar moments they wanna share?
She was talking to her sis-in-law on the phone when her (my grams) dog started barking at the door, so gram tells s-i-l she will call back she wants to see what is getting the dog worked up. (turns out to be nothing)
She tries to call back but line is busy so she decides to take her bath and call back later.
While she is in the tub her sis-in-law calls back but grams ansowering machine ansowers and just makes a funny noise and hangs up. (gram has no clue when it comes to electronics) So, s-i-l gets worried and calls her son who lives close to gram, he calls phone is busy, so he goes to grams house. But when he knocks gram doesn’t hear (she is in tub w/ hearing aids out) so he decides something is wrong so he is going to go in.
Gram used to keep an extra key in the t-pole clothes line…untill bees made a nest in it.
He reaches in starts feeling for the key and gets stung, no key so with the other hand he checks the other end and is stung again.
Since he cant find the key he thinks maybe grams brother down the road may have one, so he goes there while he is there he calls grams again. This time she ansowers but he thinks she sounds funny so on his way back he stops by, grams nursing his poor fingers.
A few mins later his daughter and her BIG boy friend show up, worried he was gone so long (they pictured him knocked out and robed at grams)
So they are all talking and about 15 mins later the cops show up. His wife was worried that now the kids were hurt (everyone forgot to call her)
Here’s my movie moment.
When I was in the 10th grade, my sister and I transferred back to public school. On the bus one morning someone told me something was wrong with my sister but didn’t specify. I go to investigate. Turns out she’s drunk, she’d snuck some of grandpa’s whiskey and had drank about 4 to 6 ounces sometime in the 45 minute ride to school. I tried to convince her to go to the office with me when we got to school and say she was sick and have mom or Dad, preferably Dad, to come pick her up. “No, no, I’ll be fine”, In truth you’d have to know her well to know she was drunk or have her breathe on you.
She breathed on someone, a student teacher.
Before homeroom even starts, I’m informed by a fellow student that Sister is in the principals office. Here’s the moment…I rushed from the classroom, down two long halls, down two flights of stairs, down another hall to the office. I never bumped into anyone, it was the ‘parting of the students’.
If you want surreal type moments, the principal let me sit with her while he called Dad. Sister sat and talked to me and the lampshade with occasional splits. The splits were cool considering she hadn’t been able to do them since busting up her knees falling out of a moving vehicle 5 or 6 month prior.
Dad picked her up, took her to lunch and then to work with him and NEVER told Mom.
