Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car…
But there’s one thing I know
Though I’m younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do
I’m as good as that guy named Jesus.
I can cure a cripple with a prothesis.
I can even walk on water when it freezes.
I’m as good as that guy named Jesus,
And Jesus had better watch his back…
If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He’d be gunned down cold by the CIA.
Heard a lot of talk about this Jesus
A man of love, a man of strength
But what a man was 2000 years ago
Means nothing at all to me today
Jesus walked on the water
He turned the water into wine
He went down to the drunkards
To tell them everything was fine:
“You are loved, you are loved, you are loved, you are loved, you are loved…”
Serpent Jesus
Snakes of Christ
Nailed to a cross of a holy design
Blood to water
Water to wine
Whip the soul ’til a mother cries
Bring it down, baby- pierce the side
Start the legend with a funeral rite
Serpent Jesus
Snakes of Christ
Gonna build you
a world of lies
I got a ticket to Heaven, and everlasting life.
All the way to paradise.
We done told you, our God’s done warned you, Jesus comin’ soon
Jesus gonna make up my dying bed
When the weather gets rough
And it’s whiskey in the shade
It’s best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that’s ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait
Well it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
…Gotta be chocolate jesus to make me feel good inside
gotta be chocolate jesus, to keep me satisfied…
I was taught to fear Jesus in a small town.
I mean, if he’s in the city, he’s just fine… But find him at one of those road-side bait-shops? Just stay out of his path. It’s best that way.