I suppose it was fun while it lasted. ::sigh:: Hi again, Jack.
Hi Jack
(Now there’s a phrase you don’t hear very often.)
How does one become an attention slut, anyway?
A successful one that is.
::holding up official Jack Batty t-shirt, trading cards and decoder ring::
I think I’m missing something here.
How much does it cost to pay attention? I’m kinda strapped this week.
hi…jack. hijack!
I love you, now strip down to your bare arse, give me all your money, and- sit down on this chair and wait while I think of a third thing to say. ::puts gun in holster and waits::
Unfortunately, Jack, when it comes to humorous, incriminating things, my mind is like a steel motherfuckin’ trap. Heeheehee… ok something ELSE not to picture at the SuperBowl party. Sue with ducklips, and you in Pull-ups!
While I’m sure scratchie also has a good memory when it comes to embarrassing things, that above post attributed to him was actually me. I must turn off the option to save cookies!
Sorry, I’ve been a bit busy paying attention to other things. Am I too late to pay attention to Jack Batty?
Hi Jack! How YOU doin’? 
As a tried and true attention slut, neve let it be said that I don’t keep up with my own narcissism.
Silver Fire: Hi again to you to. So how is life? How’s your liver holding out?
Bumbazine: One doesn’t become an attention slut, one is born an attention slut. Although good merchandising doesn’t hurt either.
Biggirl: Attention is free, with $5 dollars shipping and handling, we accept all major credit cards.
Zoggie: You know my wife lurks and reads over my shoulder all the time. What are you trying to do to me?? [sub]must think about baseball … [/sub]
oldscratch/Rasa: (I think from now on I’ll just always address you both at the same time - easier that way). Hmmm, Huggies Pull-ups and Duck-Lips. Sounds like a bad TV dective duo from the seventies.
Persephone: It is never too little, nor to late. I’m doin’ jus’ fine, baby.
[sub]I love my wife very much, I love my wife very much, I love my wife very much.[/sub] - Written as she was peeking over my shoulder. But I mean it.
blinks What? Did I miss anything? looks around I’m sorry, I was just…mesmerized… I must’ve gone into some kind of trance.
Jack…are you getting turned on, baby? 
::running her hand through his sexy [fill in adj: luxurious, long, soft, irresistable, crispy, non-existent] hair::
Wife? Now now. I’m sure I can make you forget about her in an instant, darling. Besides. You know what they say about baseball. 
Zoggie, you’re scaring the bejeezus out of me. The only way you could make me forget about my wife is with a swift smack on the head with a pick-axe. Other than that, what do they say about baseball?
Pay attention to Jack Batty, huh?
Hmmmm.
Instead of paying actual attention, does it count if I just kinda let a Jack Battyish thought drift in and out my mind and I sorta acknowledge it briefly?
.
.
.
Nah, can’t seem to drum one up. Oh well. I gave it a shot anyway.
[sub]You shameless (yeah, I know you didn’t start this thread, but why do I picture money being exchanged?) whore for attention, you. [/sub]
Pick axe? Hmm.
Well, you’ve heard the song Paradise by the Dashboard Lights haven’t you? You know all the little baseball/sex analogies…first base…second…eventually a home run. :):p:):p:):p:):p:)
While Jack Batty is greedily counting the number of posts to his attention thread, Zenster slowly sneaks up behind him and cups a chloroform soaked rag across he mouth and nose.
::standing over the insensate and hog tied form of Jack Batty, slowly Zenster reaches up to his collar and peels away a latex mask::
Revealing… Peter Graves!
But wait, it’s not the “Mission Impossible” character played by Pete Graves…
It’s the outback stagecoach driving Peter Graves character from “Whiplash”, and he has a bullwhip in his hand!
::**Zenster politely requests the audience to turn away while the appropriate number of lashes are applied to Jack Batty’s prone figure for being such an attention slut::
Are you sure that he WOULDN’T like receiving a few lashes? You might just be playing into his sadomasochistic hands (if indeed he has sadomasochistic hands, of which I have no proof).
Courageous and persevering soul that I am;
I’m willing to take that chance!
Ok. Gratuitous mentions of latex, whipping… kinky sex…
I knew there was a reason I liked this crew! 
Not everyone is as kinky as you, Snooooops.
::Winks conspiratorially at Jack Batty::
:eek:
Congratulations. For the first time since I joined this board … I am utterly speechless.
I have no speech.
Oh you little attention whore. I guess you finally got that long awaited beating from your pimp, hmmm?