Everything I Know About U.S. Culture, I Learned from "Cops."

Cafe Society
21

[QUOTE=Leaffan]
OK, not true at all. I’m a good neighbour and I’ve traveled extensively in the U.S. But I’m curious about other folks who have never been to the States and are watching Cops. What might you think is status quo?

  1. Everyone who drives is drunk and has no valid license, nor insurance.
  2. All males involved in domestic disputes have beer guts and do not wear shirts.
    [/QUOTE]
  3. And they only wear one flip flop at a time.
22

[QUOTE=Tristan]
Subduing a violent suspect rarely uses featherdusters.
Criminals rarely respond to niceness with “I’m sorry officer. It’s true, I have crack cocaine. Here’s my pistol. I’ll just go sit in your car and think about what I’ve done.”
[/QUOTE]

If you’ve ever seen how British cops handle the same types of situations you’d know what I mean. I know these people are by and large deadbeats, but in this country we do have that presumption of innocence thing. When I occasionally do watch Cops I’m appalled at the rudeness of the cops once the suspect is already in custody, the unnecessary violence they use in subduing a suspect, and their general attitude. I don’t envy them their job, but then again I didn’t sign up for their job. And whatever their job description is, it doesn’ t include being a bully.

23

[QUOTE=Sprockets]
And whatever their job description is, it doesn’ t include being a bully.
[/QUOTE]

I think some of them didn’t get this memo.

24

Mobile homes are so expensive, if you manage to buy one you can’t afford shirts with sleeves.

-Joe

25

Americans are notoriously poor at reciting the alphabet or walking a straight line–especially after two beers.

26

[QUOTE=Muffin]
Up until I started travelling, everything I knew about the USA I learned from the Buffalo TV stations:

“A fire tonight in Tonawanda.”
“A shooting tonight in Tonawanda.”
“A fire tonight in Lackawanna”
“A shooting tonight in Lackawanna”
“A fire tonight in Cheektowaga.”
“A shooting tonight in Cheektowaga.”

It gave me the impression that Buffalo was a violent hole.

Eventually I visited the place, and guess what?
[/QUOTE]

No, Buffalo itself is not a problem. The moral of the news you saw should be clear: Stay away from places with four-syllable names of Iroquoian derivation! :smiley:

27

A mullet is nature’s way of saying you have a previous conviction on your record.

28

What? You didn’t see that one? Too bad because it was a great episode. The look on your face was priceless. Maybe you can catch it on a rerun or when they release it on video.

29

Then how do you explain Blasdell?

30

[QUOTE=Tristan]
Subduing a violent suspect rarely uses featherdusters.
Criminals rarely respond to niceness with “I’m sorry officer. It’s true, I have crack cocaine. Here’s my pistol. I’ll just go sit in your car and think about what I’ve done.”
[/QUOTE]

I actually saw something like this in an episode.

Of course, the uncuffed suspect went ballistic after a few minutes in the squad car, so they had to drag her out before she smashed a window and handcuff her.

31

When cops get called into a couples domestic for the third time in the same week, they fall back on their mandatory Dr. Phil Dispute and Sensitivity Training.

If the cops pull someone over they’re going to jail.

No one who flees the scene on a motorcycle will need handcuffs by the time the chase is over.

American cops do not eat donuts, ever.