For example, everyone who drives, drives while impaired and without a license.
And without a shirt.
Everyone has crystal meth or crack in their car.
And they all consent to a vehicle search.
They’ll never find it! It’s stashed between the seat cushions!
Lots of people drive around with no idea that they’ve got guns and/or drugs in their cars. They can’t explain for the life of them how that meth pipe and that 9 mm got under the seats. Somebody else must have left it there.
Shut up, man! What are you trying to do, get us on COPS? And fercrissakes, put your seatbelt on and ditch the pipe, the pigs are coming!
Whenever you hear:
“It’s not mine!”
“I don’t have anything in the car that a police officer should be concerned about.”
“I’m not high/using.”
That person is lying. And people who are around those people that get busted usually have blurry faces.
No one who is stopped by the police ever had more than two beers. Ask them!
We don’t have to take off our shoes to count our remaining teeth.
If you used as much meth as I do, everybody around you would be blurry, too!
Counting the number of participants in each episode there are roughly the same numbers of cops and criminals in the U.S.
I was going to say that sometimes they wear a dingy, thin, tank-style white undershirt (typically called a “wifebeater”), but that’s usually what they’re wearing when the cops pull up to check on a “domestic disturbance.” I guess they’re appropriately nicknamed!
Women would rather be beaten by their man than see him hauled off to jail, although they never come to this realization until the cops come knocking.
Cops talk to other cops like they’re explaining their actions and desired outcomes to a TV audience: “Hopefully this crack whore with three kids will see the light and straighten herself out.”
Everybody who runs from the cops does so not because they’re guilty of a crime, but because they’re “scared.”
Also, the most dangerous city in the country isn’t Detroit, Camden, East St. Louis, Gary or Compton. It’s Fort Worth.
We Americans are such a trusting people – we often lend our cars to recent acquaintances who don’t even know our last names.
We are also really nice people. We give car rides to our new female friends even though we do not know their last name or where they live and we would never assume they were hookers we are too nice for that.
Avoiding a penalty for driving while suspended/without a license is totally worth running from the cops and racking up an array of other charges!
Yup. It’s always two. Because one is not believable, and three is too many.
Although I did have one refreshingly honest defendant once who said, “Eleven.”
Rich, well-dressed and/or polite people never commit crimes, silly.
Some people love to be on TV no matter what the circumstances.
All police officers are tough but sensitive.
No police officer really likes donuts.