Everything I need to know I learned in my first 1000 posts...***!!!HOT SEX PICS INSID

…right here on the Straight Dope.

Musings, and a Retrospective
[li]No matter how inconsequential it is, there are dozens of people who will argue to the death about it in GD.[/li][li]No matter how obscure, there are dozens of people who can answer it in GQ.[/li][li]Hi, Opal![/li][li]Nobody, but NOBODY has cooler sigs than Neuro-Trash Grrrl.[/li][li]Whatever the topic, sombody will turn it to racism or discrimination about homosexuals.[/li][li]Godwin’s Law is alive and well: Conversations on SDMB don’t really even get going until somebody is compared to Hitler.[/li][li]If nobody knows it, somebody will make it up.[/li][li]If nobody knows it, either Chronos, CalMeacham, or RM Mentock probably does but isn’t telling.[/li][li]No matter what physics question you ask or answer, somebody will always say “WRONG! You didn’t account for relativistic _______ change!”[/li][li]If it’s not a fact, somebody “read it someplace, I don’t recall where…”[/li][li]Religion threads are mainly excuses to bash Christians.[/li][li]Dopefests really ARE fun.[/li][li]Bell curves don’t apply in SDMB. I’ve seen more brilliance and more gross stupidity than anywhere else.[/li][li]People on message boards are real people who really don’t suck.[/li][li]Those people sometimes really care about each other.[/li][li]You can have genuine friends who you’ve never met, and may never see.[/li][li]Contrary to common belief, taking gender, race, age, etc out of a conversation and basing interactions solely on thoughts does NOT solve all the world’s problems. Bigotry and cliquish behavior still happen, they just form around ideological nucleation points rather than physical ones.[/li][li]Moderators can drink like pros![/li][li]Contrary to common belief, message boards are not the refuge of the unattractive and unpopular. Anybody who thinks otherwise obviously hasn’t seen the picture pages.[/li][li]Even though it appears otherwise on the surface (for example, to my boss), SDMB is a worthwhile pursuit, and it has been a positive experience overall.[/li][li]All kidding aside, “Satan’s Ass” really would make a good name for a rock band. :D[/li][/ol]

Feel free to comment or add observations.

Wow, I thought I’d rate at least a single reply for my thousandth post.


Ah, well. Back to the more serious forums, I guess…

Well, Joe_Cool, I assume that this is a post party, all wittily disquised?

If so , congratulations on 1000.

If not, very insightful thoughts!


Congrats on the binary eight! :slight_smile:

Oops, I have one addendum:
Item #8 reads:

but should read:

Major faux pas there. I wonder who else I slighted by leaving them out of my list of people who, collectively, know everything…

Scotti, yes it was supposed to be something of a witty post party. Thanks to the two attendees who showed up, but it seems to have failed miserably.

To all of you who couldn’t be bothered to pop in here, I’ll get you, and your little dog, too! eh, It’s my party, I’ll gripe if I want to. :slight_smile:

One day I’ll learn to doublecheck the username after other dopers use my computer!!! Drat.

Previous post was me.

A list of 21 things you’d learned.

Then you go and screw it all up with a friggin’ smiley.

Go to the back of the class.

well, congrats and all that stuff. I’m gonna hit 500 tonight if it kills me. And I’m so tired at the moment that I might.

I’ll break out a beer(Blue Moon anyone?) in honor of your accomplishment.

Yeah, yeah, I know. But I have three things to say in my defense:

There was only one, and it was intended to replace nonverbal cues that are lost without face-to-face contact during an exchange, thereby avoiding confusion and miscommunication.

I seem to remember seeing you post a smiley or two in at least one thread
[ChiefScott “jedi mind trick”] No you don’t. [/]
No I don’t.

It could be worse – I could have said “LOL”.


Lsura: Thanks! I’ll drink one for you too, but I drink Corona. [smiley omitted in deference to ChiefScott]

Ah, hell, who am I kidding? :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Happy 1000!

Good for you. :smiley:

Joe_Cool, ya damned Hitler wanna be. Yeah, ya think you’re sooo smart, just cause ya’ve gots 10 times my posts. Yeah, just like Hitler.

As per point 6 this’ll kick it up a notch, or my post’ll kill it like a turtle on a 4 lane highway.

[breathlessly] Hi everyone!! - I bought beer and scotch and also gin and tonic for my boyfriend who’s coming later, and these little savoury pastry things that I make - they just need to be heated up. AND I got silly hats - I hope you don’t mind… uh, don’t mind…


hello! anyone there…?

Um. Is this the wrong night? Am I late again…?

Oh dear, this is depressing. I’m sure it’s happened before too.

perhaps I should go. I’ll leave the savoury things - he might wander in later.

Oh, and I could leave a note,

here: "Dear Joe, sorry to have missed your party. I was very impressed by the list, although number 12 strikes me as unlikely. Almost everybody on these boards goes to bed too early, and then when it’s 9.00 pm in Oz they’re never here.

Anyway best wishes - I will be looking out for more cogency and wit from you. I am NOT being sarcastic.

Don’t be too depressed about the poor attendance - there’s just so much on these boards, they can’t keep up. And I think somebody started yet another Sexywriter thread, and you know how they suck the life out of everything else.

I think the trick is to keep on going anyway, doing one’s best and behaving like a gentleman, except in the Pit, I gather.

your frend,


'K, so I’ll just turn off the light as I go, and


This under-read thread seems to have fallen off the front page. I just wish there was something I could do about that.


Better late than never. I’ve been out of town.


Great list.

And to qoute ChiefScott, :smiley:

<ducks and runs for cover>

Happy 1000 Joe,
After your 2 cents in the latest Napster thread (brilliant), and your proposed soloution to my SCSI laptop problems (laughably expensive but appreciated), you are a name I will look for when I skim titles. Sorry I seem to have killed your Media Sensationalism Thread, I’ve been doing that a lot this week…

…uh oh…

um… pretend i wasn’t here…

long live this thread…


uh, is this the thread about blowing up a cat?

Hmm. No answer. Guess it isn’t, then.