My kids, my girls, just walked out of here kissing me goodnight a few minutes ago. They’re 12 and 14 years old. I just realized that one day they won’t. One day they’ll be married and fighting the clock and I’ll be lucky if i get a phone call once a week. One day they were 3 and 5 years old and i was putting them to bed myself. They were short little monsters. Now they’re in a biological race to see who’s going to be taller. They’re skyscrapers.
If it were only that I’d be ok with it. Objects set into motion remain in motion. That goes for everything, including mistakes. There’s the rub.
incidentally the mistakes aren’t in reference to my girls. They happen to be perfect creatures.
They all grow up too fast and before you know it they don’t snuggle anymore and there aren’t little arms around your neck. The next minute they’re out the door, saying, “Bye, don’t wait up.”
But right now they’re still kissing you goodnight. Take what you have while you have it and try very hard not to look too far ahead. They’ll do enough of that for all of you.
My little girls are 19 and 21 and the older one just finished her second application to grad school. Arizona State and New Mexico State so far. I hate the thought of her being so far away, but right now she’s still here. I’m gathering hugs to keep.
I know you know all of this. We all do. It’s not that easy to remember sometimes.
I have no children of my own (nor will I ever), but I just wanted to say that both of your posts were poignant and touching. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for a parent to simply allow (actually encourage) the growing up process.
Wonderful for your girls that your both so strong and good. That means they will in turn share that with their children. And the people of the world thank you.
I too have no children, and it’s posts like this which make me realise how large the empty spot within me is. I delight in my niece and nephew, but it can’t be the same.
I’m about to spend my first xmas with my little angel… she’s almost 8 months old, and I already miss her tiny fagility at 2-3 months old. When we compare her current babygro with her birth clothes, she seems massive; then when I see her in the front room I realise she’s still a tiny little thing.
At work there’s a lot of macho pressure to put in long hours… the rewards are nice, my car is embarrassingly old and shabby compared to the sleek motors around it, but I’ve managed to get home nearly every night to feed her some tea and put her to bed.
But work is not fleeting… I have the next 35 yrs to stay late in the office and strive towards the shiny BMW… but those pudgy little fingers will only grasp my hands for a few years more, and I don’t want to miss it.
Leaving the office at 5pm is not great for a career, but the smile I get when I walk in the door is better than all the money in the world.
And then one day, you’ll be in the spot where I am – my sons are adults, married, doing well, seem to be healthy, reasonably well-adjusted men and make my heart swell with pride. The hugs are fewer (they don’t live nearby) but wonderful when they come. Plus now there’s a granddaughter, which is an amazing thing to experience. Even better is watching my younger son be a daddy to his daughter. Makes me positively misty to see it.
I loved them when they were little and that hasn’t changed–it’s just different. I have this weird combination of pride and humility because that they are so cool isn’t my doing, I mostly got out of the way where I could and did as little damage as I could.
Oh my god you guys are killing me. I have a wonderful two year old girl right now. She is positively the light of my life. And just thinking about her growing up and leaving eventually gets me all kinds of choked up. I never thought I’d be this happy. It is a truly amazing thing to behold.
When my son was about six months old I stood out of his sight and watched the first time he pulled himself up to stand. Hand over hand up the bars of his crib, right after his nap. I silently cheered for him every step of the way, and then I got teary. When I called my husband at work to tell him he said, “He’s not leaving for college tomorrow.” And no, he didn’t. But now he’s sending me phone pictures of his son, who’s about the same age he was at that moment. It’s been a lot of years, but it hasn’t been any time at all.
Thanks for the replies and sharing. I don’t know why I felt so sappy last night when I posted this. I think it’s because I realized how many times I take it all for granted because I might be tired or grumpy. Through that my kids seem to be very affectionate still. I guess that’s all I can ask for.
I don’t want to bore anyone, but the oldest was two pounds when she was born and spent three months in the hospital. She was released on my wifes due date. I think the experience for her has somehow given her this amazing flare for life, and she excels all on her own. I’m just a spectator to the whole thing. I stand out of the way and watch her accomplish whatever it is she wants. She learned how to ride a bike and tie her shoes all in the same day, and now she’s an honor role student lining up her goals for life. I’m actually envious. It’s pretty neat really. And she set the bar high for the younger one who had to find her niche, which turns out to be a sinister, but amazingly witty sense of humor.
I’ll stop now. Driving home was hell today. That’s better.
Aw. I love this thread. My little baby boy is three months old. I, too, never thought I’d be this happy. He is so amazing. There is something so amazing to me about the fact that this incredible, indescribable experience that I am having has been had by millions and millions of people since the beginning of humanity. It’s so precious but so common at the same time. I never used to understand it when people would say they missed their kids after being away from them for only a few hours. I would think, “What is there to miss? You just saw them. You see them all the time. You miss not having time to yourself? You miss being able to go to the bathroom with ease? You miss having to wipe snotty noses?” Ha. He is so sweet. His little smile lights up my whole world.
If you saw the movie “Titanic”, there is a scene where Rose is floating on some wooden thing or other, and is talking to Jack, when she suddenly realizes that he has died from the exposure. She has a couple of other words with him, and releases his grip on her, saying “I’ll never let go…” as Jack fades into the depths.
This is how I feel about my grandson, who has been a member of our household since the day he was born. He is now eleven, and becoming quite independent. He no longer needs Papa, and that hurts a bit, as I release him and watch him fade…
sheesh czarcastic, are you trying to depress me even more?
Being a grandparent has to be a thankless, but rewarding job. I’m so thankful I had my grandmother in my life as a kid, but I also remember growing up and detaching myself from her rather quickly. It must have been hard. Thank god there were five of us. After we had kids I became closer to her again as an adult. I’m glad she got to be close to them and know them. Still people comment on how my youngest reminds them of her. So, don’t let go yet.
It’s a great tearing sadness of life, and Mr. Salinqmind and I always wonder where the years went. I remember the days of childhood just, sometimes, crawled, but the years just flew by. And once they’re out of school and on their own, they lead their own lives and want to be independent and maybe think of their parents once in a great while. It’s sad. But raising children to be independent and hopefully successful and happy is what we are here to do. No use crying to yourself, come back, come back - they’re … not gone, but have gone on ahead. (And hopefully there will come a time when you will again become closer. As my widowed mother ages, we have become much more like friends and have some good times now. ) One other thing - a parent never ever stops worrying about/for a child. There’s always something! And that child is always going to be Your Baby.
