Eve's date

[looking anxiously out to sea, shading my eyes with my picture hat]

Where, oh where, is my little Boston Cream Pie today?

Well, I can’t seem to read the third page. The system takes five minutes trying to download it, then times out. I am being allowed to post, though.

It’s just as well. My grandmother fell down and broke her hip, so I’m going up to see her, and I’ll be away from the computer for a day or two. So our date will have to be on hiatus for a bit. Sorry, Eve.

You know how long these transatlantic crossings take! Just see that Captain Hazelwood doesn’t sink the thing before we have a chance to stand up on the bow together.

Oh, no, poor grandma—I do hope she’s alright and has someone to take care of her.

How’s about we put the Vitural Date on hold and you actually E-mail me and let me know how things are going? Don’t want to post my E-dress—I know you don’t, either, so I’ll ask Tubadiva to go ahead and show you mine if you’ll show me yours . . .

[How the date ended: Titanic sank, Eve was rescued by pirates, APB swam back to administer to Grandma, Eve became Pirate Queen]

Damn. And I was gonna have fun when we got to France, too. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted.

By all means, UncleBeer, Eutychus, pass on my email address. Unfortunately, it needs to be updated and I can’t seem to do so. I posted the problem on “About This Message Board”.

[day after the date, Eve in dressing gown surveying roomful of flowers, some with diamond bracelets enclosed]

So, APB—how’s your grandma?

She’s okay, thanks for asking. She’s 93 and blind, so this has got her a bit depressed. She broke her other hip about a year and a half ago, and they replaced it. Now she’s broken the other one, and they just put a pin in it. I’ll be moving back with her next week for awhile.

I’m sorry we couldn’t finish our date! Maybe I’ll get down to New York sometime and we can do it for real. Until then, I’ll just have to dream…

Good lord—just being blind and 93 is depressing enough, without the broken hips thrown in!

You’re being awfully noble moving in with her—are you and she pals? Where does she live? Does this entail an entire city-away-move, or up the block? What about your job?

Jiminy, it sounds like you’re in it up to your eyebrows. If you do come to NY, bring grandma with you as a chaperone—I know some old speakeasies she might remember . . .

Um, noble, yeah, that’s it.

Actually I just finished up my post-doc at the end of July and was planning to move home for a few months anyway, so I don’t have to pay the outrageous Boston rents while I figure what’s next (given the truly benthic antipathy I’ve developed to the work I’ve been doing). It just happened that Grandma broke her leg last week. So in a sense, it’s serendipitous for her that this happened now. I had a cousin who was helping take care of her, but she just moved to Florida this week; so now I’ll be able to watch out for her.

More than you wanted to know, eh?

It is an out of town move, but just to Springfield (and slightly closer to NY!), about an hour away from where I am now. I’m trying to start a business, so I need to stay near Boston.

So the mod can go ahead and pass on my email address, if you still want it.

“Starting your own business,” huh? THAT’S why you’re being so nice to me—you want me to join your stable of girls . . .

I asked Tubadiva to give you my E-mail address if you ask—so feel free to E her for it. Aren’t we all being coy about not listing our E’s? Of course, I’d LOVE to hear from 99% of the SDMB . . . it’s that other 1% (the ones with the pickaxes and test tubes of e coli) that worry me . . .)

Keeping a table at the Algonquin warm for you . . .

P.S. Get my E-mail before that playground bully Ukulele Ike cames back from his vacation and starts teasing us mercilessly with “Eve and APB sittin’ in a tree” jokes!

Ah, the end of the day approaches and not a word from my Boston Cream Pie . . . No doubt he’s been spending his day tending to grandma, starting his new business and—while in Florida—rescuing small Cuban children bobbing about in inner tubes.

Well, I’m off for the weekend, and when I get back bright and chipper on Monday, I expect some MGM-quality sweet talkin’ (“your hair is like a field of silver daisies—I’d like to run barefoot through your hair!”) and an E-mail address!

—Mata Machree (“The Woman No Man Can Resist”)

Goodness—has it been THAT long since our date?

You’ll all be happy to know that APB9999 and I have just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary, and that our eldest, Moishe, is having his bar mitzvah next month. You’re all invited!

Apparently, wedded bliss has kept him away from the boards for the last month however. Congrats on the 15 year anniversary. What am I supposed to get you for that?

Water, do you suppose I let my hubby play around on the Internet when he’s supposed to be cooking and cleaning and changing diapers? He’ll get a whack from this big ol’ rolling pin if he tries!

Yes, dear.

[Actually, APB and I don’t want 'em to know we REALLY live a life of wild orgies, cocktails and transatlantic house parties, or they’d ALL want in!]

Wow. So, where have you been the last month? It hasn’t been the same without you.

Yes, dear.